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Did I lose him already??? :(


confusedsoul14

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confusedsoul14

Recently, I have started to really like this guy, and it seemed like he was a little interested in me as well. But, just when I was about to make a move, I found out that a friend of mine likes him too (she herself told me). She has not told him directly, but has made it very obvious through her actions. Now, almost everybody knows that she likes him, even the guy himself. At first, he seemed undecided about the girl and I kept feeling a strong chemistry between me and him (I have caught him staring at me a couple of times and he did things like, listening to me with interest, laughing at my jokes, complementing my looks etc.).

I tried to be as friendly with him as possible, but I wasn't comfortable flirting with him when the other girl was always around. I felt like it was dishonest/immoral to flirt with him in that situation. Besides, everybody knows how much that girl likes him, so if I flirt with him now, they will say that i'm trying to steal him from her.

I think he got confused if I like him or not, and maybe he is starting to give up on me. He has started to look really happy with my friend and for some reason, i can tell that he is not faking it to make me jealous. It hurts me so much to see him with her, but then I don't want to hurt anybody to get what I want...:( I can't even avoid them because we all belong to the same group of friends.

So, what can I do now? I feel really helpless... What is the right thing for me to do in this situation? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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If she is a friend and had the interest in him first you need to step aside. What if you liked him first and she was going after him. As far as him listening to you with interest, laughing at your jokes and complimenting your looks, I do this all the time with males as well as females because it is polite. I wouldn't take those actions as romantic interest. If this guy is as charming as you say, he may have plently of women lined up to be with him. He certainly has no shortage of female attention. How old are you guys?

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confusedsoul14
If she is a friend and had the interest in him first you need to step aside. What if you liked him first and she was going after him. As far as him listening to you with interest, laughing at your jokes and complimenting your looks, I do this all the time with males as well as females because it is polite. I wouldn't take those actions as romantic interest.

 

Thank you so much for your reply. Maybe you are right... but the thing is, I have a couple of male friends who love my jokes and complements my looks, but none of them ever made me feel like they like me romantically. Whereas, the way this guy looks at me and talks to me makes it really hard for me to believe that he is simply being nice and nothing more... you know what I mean?

 

Anyways, I don't know who liked him first but I do know that I don't want to hurt anybody. I would rather let myself hurt than doing something wrong to get what I want. :)

 

Thank you so much for your advice, I will definitely keep it in mind :)

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If they aren't already a couple, you should just tell your friend you have feelings for him also. This way, if he does have feelings for you, you can be free to express yourself to him and let him know you like him as well. Also if you and this guy start dating she can't say you didn't tell her you liked him too and it is his choice who he wanted to date. If they are already a couple, forget it.

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