what the hell i am doing

[BeingMe]

i certainly paid her the first time. the other times we've spent together it's perhaps not so clear. is her affection really fake? the second time, she's the one who insisted on sex not me. she has orgasms and tells me what she wants - she's hypersexual. she's the only women i ever had who outscrewed me.

 

:laugh:

 

Please tell me you don't really believe that?

 

I could fake an orgasm too, especially if it meant it was over faster! She's outscrewing you because she gets regular practice. She's telling you what she wants because then she's in control of the transaction.

 

Also, condoms don't protect you from HPV. HPV can cause cancer. If you sleep with your wife, you could give her HPV, and in time, literally kill her because of your screwing around. That screw still feel good? Is it worth it?

 

Get yourself into counselling and work out the deep down reasons you'redoing this. Ican give you a clue...it's not the state of your marriage, it's something that's lacking inside of you. Now go find a counsellor and figure out what it is before your mess up even more of your life.

 

PS: Dump the prossie.

[Morgoth]

I will take the other position. If you can afford it why not? You don't have to marry her. We all have to get a long in the world. Be a husband and father to your wife and child and keep your side piece for when you want what you can't get at home. And remember, her jobs is to take care of your every male need that your wife will eventually blow off if you stay married long enough, they all do or this site probably wouldn't exist. Plus once your wife has that baby, you will forever be at the bottom of her priority list. And when you get tired of this one, there are plenty of younger ones waiting to step in her place. This has been going on since humans started living in groups. Good luck to you.

[Eggplant]

This has been going on since humans started living in groups.

The same logical fallacy twice in the same thread! Many things, including extreme human suffering have been going on since humans started living in groups.

[Eggplant]

If you can afford it why not?

Because that's not what his wife agreed to.

 

And because when his wife finds out, she will divorce him, and his son will not have a united family.

 

What a lucky kid.

[Ap22]

i certainly paid her the first time. the other times we've spent together it's perhaps not so clear. is her affection really fake? the second time, she's the one who insisted on sex not me. she has orgasms and tells me what she wants - she's hypersexual. she's the only women i ever had who outscrewed me.

 

 

Let me tell you a story. A buddy and I used to frequent hooters quite a bit back in our younger days. We were such regulars that the waitresses would "fight" over us when choosing where to sit. My buddy would get such a big head thinking the women were fighting for him.

 

He never understood that they didnt give a crap about him, they wanted him to sit in there area because he tipped the girls like a maniac. His bill would be $10 and he would leave a $30 tip. Now i'm not calling Hooters girls prostitutes, but it kind of relates to your situation. Stop giving her money, and lets see how long she "outscrews" you.

[experiencethedevine]

Gone awfully quiet here chaps!............................................

[whatamidoing101]

i've seen a lot of crap posted here, some simply from not reading what i've written.

 

i'm british, i have nothing to do with army. i met my PARTNER quite normally.

 

fake orgasms - yes of course i thought they were fake. who knows. it was quite clear to me that i was pleasing her on those occasions where she came. she told me exactly what she wants and i'm not going into details. she's not the first women to say i'm good at screwing either.

 

the guy who says i should carry on - the only one from this site or any other person i have discussed this with. he has a point. when i have a child i will be relegated to 2nd or 3rd best. this is normal. this damsel has made me realise what i've been missing sex wise and listening wise.

 

i believe her when she says she likes me. but so what, i have female friends - they like me too. whoopy. she also says i'm very interesting - again many people say that too. whoopy. she likes my blue eyes. again so do most people.

 

i should also mention she is Russian. you are all Americans. their culture is different. it is normal over there for their women to explicitly go with men for money. it doesn't' mean they don't like them or even fall in love with them. it's normal. i would also add that western women also do this but because to a much lesser extent. my partner said to me a long time ago that had i not a good job and a certain level of education she would not have gone with me. ALL WOMEN DO THIS. the only difference is in russia it's more explicit and more extreme. she said she expects the man to look after her and in exchange she is a woman. all women make this trade. even career women do it. women nearly always marry up. cleaver and more money usually. they trade just like she does. no 'american progress' will change that ever.

 

the only thing to watch is when is is PURELY for money. when her affection is fake. when she does not really like you or only likes you.

 

i also get annoyed with the progressive bull****. that is idealogical. the damsel in distress will exist forever. Americans especially believe in progress. it's nonsense. neither do i think it's a bad thing.

 

what possible future could i have with this women? none. she's totally screwed up and needs huge amounts of help. do i keep her on the side? i could do that. the chances of getting caught are extremely high and i would betray my partner even more and my unborn son.

 

i am obsessed with her and i need to get her out of my head. how do i do that?

[whatamidoing101]

and yes her whoring does make me feel sick. she knows i feel that way. i told her i don't want to hear about her bloody clients.

 

she also has an 'ex' - another gent who paid her monthly. he was with her for 3 months and she is still clearly attached to him. that's not fake. he's a hollywood producer. i hate him. he could have helped her.

[waterwoman]

FWIW I am British too. I still think you are behaving like a ####. How about my suggestion that you start caring for your wife? Even tough girls like to be cherished from time to time. Leave Belle De Jour to her own devices, something tells me she'll do just fine.

[InnocentMan]

FYI, we're not all American, not that it makes much difference to the comments.

[whatamidoing101]

most Brits are almost identical in worldview to americans! i am an exception. go from america east and you get less and less of the american ideology. Russia is still a conservative country.

[InnocentMan]

most Brits are almost identical in worldview to americans! i am an exception. go from america east and you get less and less of the american ideology. Russia is still a conservative country.

 

Ah, I didn't realise you were an exception. Carry on.

[experiencethedevine]

I am also British, and hold no such 'values' that would allow such disrespect.....................

[Spark1111]

most Brits are almost identical in worldview to americans! i am an exception. go from america east and you get less and less of the american ideology. Russia is still a conservative country.

 

So what do you want from us?

 

Justify it any way you want pal.....culturally, ideologically, whatever...but you are with a woman who likes her sugar daddies and will do anything within her power to separate you from your money.

 

I do not care how good in the sack you think you are or how often she tells you.

 

It's a fantasy, one women the world over know how easy it is to hook a guy and have used for the last millennium.

 

Listen, be respectful, pull the damsel in distress routine, and worship often below the belt.

 

ensure there are no REAL LIFE events intruding; no bills, babies or inlaws. No REAL demands EVER. Just you....the center of her world.

 

you can pursue this and crash and burn your life.

 

You can play it and NEVER give her another dime until she dumps you for the sugar daddy who will.

 

You can pay her, enjoy the fantasy and never tell your wife and hope and pray she never finds out ( but most do) and then you can live that scorched earth scenario.

 

You can divorce your wife NOW so she can find a man to worship her and you can play the field any way you like.

 

Or you can stop this adolescent nonsense by going cold turkey, NO CONTACT , today, right now, and work on making your marriage better.

 

that's about all the choices you have, no matter where in the world you hail from.

 

good luck.

[Eggplant]

ALL WOMEN DO THIS.

No, I do not.

[AlwaysGrowing]

How do you get her out of your head?

 

You do that by being able to hear and accept the truth.

 

While you were listening/shoulder to cry on/KISA to the Russian hooker, you both were creating an equal or greater traumatic life story for your wife. A wife..who currently is at her most vulnerable. A pregnant woman. Who physically has limitations, as well as the hormonal changes in her body, requires lots of emotional support.

 

You decided to save all your sympathy for the hooker...and gave not an ounce of it to your wife..who is carrying your child. Tears!!! you had tears for the hooker. In contrast. Your wifes new life story (pregnant, cheated on, possibly abandoned)....gave you sexual pleasure.

 

That is how you get her out of your head. Say the truth of it, out loud.

 

This is who you decided to be. This is the man you choose to be. The husband. The new father.

 

Doesn't sound so romantic now...does it.

[whatamidoing101]

ok, i must have told many people now safely (friends i trust and this forum) this story and everyone is saying the same thing. i better stop this now whilst i still can and nobody gets hurt.

 

i just visited that proper hooker i mentioned in the main post. i didn't have sex with her and just paid her to talk. even she says exactly what you people say. she says it's bull**** and she's just stringing me along. even if she needs help, it's her problem.

[experiencethedevine]

ok, i must have told many people now safely (friends i trust and this forum) this story and everyone is saying the same thing. i better stop this now whilst i still can and nobody gets hurt.

 

i just visited that proper hooker i mentioned in the main post. i didn't have sex with her and just paid her to talk. even she says exactly what you people say. she says it's bull**** and she's just stringing me along. even if she needs help, it's her problem.

 

 

That says it all doesn't it? You were looking for someone who might validate what you are doing with a pat on the back and a, 'good on you' from more than one or two. What you got was a resounding, 'pack it in'! from the majority.

 

 

What you need now is to address the issue of 'why' you find your behaviour acceptable and what the compulsion is behind such disrespect, not just for your wife and child, but also yourself..................

 

 

I wish you a better future and contentment with your wife and the arrival of your son. Please don't disrespect either of them anymore than you already have.

 

 

They really don't deserve it, and believe it or not, one day your son will know.

[sweet_pea]

Goodness gracious, if anything stop using money on this woman when it could be saved for your child. You can get advice and an ear to listen to you for free and without cheating (from friends, websites like this).

[whatamidoing101]

i hope my son won't be as screwed up as i am to have done this

[Journee]

i hope my son won't be as screwed up as i am to have done this

 

The worst thing you can do is to just lie down and own that you are broken or messed up. Most people have redeeming qualities and you can change the course you are on. It will take lots of work and honesty with yourself.

 

It would be a huge gift to your partner if you were to share with her the sexual/physical danger that sex of any kind with someone else has put her in. There are diseases that take months for tests to even begin to come up positive after contraction. Diseases that are carried on the genital skin surrounding the areas that condoms cover. Also diseases that can cause blindness and death in newborns brought into this world vaginally by a mother that is unknowingly carrying. Diseases that over time can lead to reproductive cancers in both parties. It's getting real out here as far as sexual health. Infection and diseases now turning int super bugs. No one deserves to be exposed to these things.

 

I don't believe that anyone is beyond redemption if they are willing to do the work. We all have issues that can lead to choices that hurt people around us. I am guilty of things I am ashamed of. Things I wish I could take back. Things I only have admitted to God himself.

 

You have a wonderful opportunity to be the type of man your son can look up to. You do not have to be with your partner if that is not what you want. You can still be a great father and a good man to the core if you truly desire it.

 

Don't give up on self improvement for your son's sake if nothing else.

[tiredofitall2]

most Brits are almost identical in worldview to americans! i am an exception. go from america east and you get less and less of the american ideology. Russia is still a conservative country.

 

My fiance is Russian and I know that there is a lot of that in the E. countries. But, nothing has anything to do with anything. The point is that a betrayal is a betrayal and you are here because you want a way out. So first things first. Get it out of your head that you are crazy about this woman, sure it is true. Your are Pu**y whipped and "the in love" felling comes with the territory. It is a chemical reaction in your brain. All you have to do is distance yourself and stay away. Do it before your W gets back.

 

I agree, many Russian women are beautiful and many of them are great in bed. But you married your W and I'm sure you can get there wit her too. All you need is communication and practice. Tell her what you like and make sure you know what she likes. Although my Russian fiance is great with sex my Puerto Rican wife was better why? nothing to do with culture. But, who can possibly know you better than your W? The time you spend together will allow both of you to know each other well.

 

Try new things, toys, or whatever you guys need. Make it interesting.

 

Get out of the affair fog with NC (no contact) it will take you at least three months.

 

I'm American and have been there a few times and know how things are over in Russia.

[Morgoth]

Hey to the OP, you are not broken or messed up for being interested in this woman. She is human as well, we men like vulnerable women, I think its the way nature made us. I am married and have other women in my life. If I knew then what I knew now I would not have got married, however you can love your family, be a good father, provider, and enjoy your life.

 

All this talk about fake orgasms, and manipulation, I say who cares, she likes it, you like it. Plus we are humans and we are constantly manipulating others to get what we want, its what we do. Do not under estimate having a very sexual woman in your life, paid or not. They are very rare.

 

I would also like to say that most of the posters here have had trauma and break ups due to infidelities and I know they have real pain. I am in no way minimizing their pain, trouble or issues, but realize their point of view when you are thinking about it their posts. Again good luck to you.

[tiredofitall2]

What makes you think he won't get caught? Most people do, especially when they get invested emotionally. He's wife will dump him or at the very minimum his family and R with his W forever scarred. Affairs never end well.

[Morgoth]

What makes you think he won't get caught? Most people do, especially when they get invested emotionally. He's wife will dump him or at the very minimum his family and R with his W forever scarred. Affairs never end well.

 

According to the statistics most affairs go undetected, plus I never said there is no risk. I have had a 5 year realtionship and others along the way, it is managable with a bit of caution and intelligence. Also, I would imagine that if you polled most of the people in this section the majority reconcile after d-day, some even after multiple d-days.

 

Again I am not minimizing those who have been hurt by infidelity and post here. Just opffering an opinion like everyone else.