what the hell i am doing

[violet1]

I don't think monogamy is natural for humans either.. I know it's an unpopular opinion here but I've always felt that way.

 

I don't think it's natural either. It's something you have to work on. I think that's why people value monogamy. I used to value monogamy too and I never thought in my life that I would cheat, but I did. Since I'm capable of doing it once, I can't guarantee I won't do it again. I'd like to think I wouldn't, but there are very few guarantees in life and that's not one of them. The problem with open and polyamorous relationships is that they're not really accepted by society. If you're in love with one person, but enjoy sexual variety with others, you're considered scum IMO.

[experiencethedevine]

This thread is total bogus and we should stop feeding the troll.

 

 

 

t/j briefly, sorry everyone, RightThere I always wonder how one can tell that. Forgive my terrible ignorance, I am not the least internet savvy in reality! My computer is essentially a research and work tool! How on earth do you know?

[RightThere]

t/j briefly, sorry everyone, RightThere I always wonder how one can tell that. Forgive my terrible ignorance, I am not the least internet savvy in reality! My computer is essentially a research and work tool! How on earth do you know?

 

I'm am speculating, but the amount of nonsense that this poster continues to put out just seems to indicate they are looking for reactions as opposed to real advice.

 

And even if it is 100% true, it serves the same purpose that no amount of responses is going to reason with the OP.

 

You cannot argue nonsense with sense.

[rumbleseat]

So you wre faithful for x number of years. What do you expect, some sort of hero cookie?

 

You want a reason to stop this philandering? Try picturing your son's face when you tell him that mommy and daddy can't be together, seeing the heartache in his face and knowing that it's all because you wanted a little something on the side. Now picture the look on your wife's face when she finds out that you have been sleeping with a hooker and now she needs to be tested for std's, because you sir, are an idiot if you think that an couple of negative test results means that this woman can't have picked up so,etching in the meantime.

 

Think of having to explain to your wife why she suddenly turns up HIV positive, or finds out she has some other std that can kill her, like syphalis, which drives you crazy before you die a slow and painful death. Sound like fun?

 

And another thing, stop making these choices for your wife about how she will act after your child is born. She may full well surmise you. As is stands right now, you are not letting her know something is missing from your relationship and then tacitly punishing her for not providing it.

 

Btw, stop using " maybe monogamy is wrong" as a some screen for acting like a jerk. You are acting poorly, now instead of making excuses for it, own it and smarten up before life does it for you by giving you one great big kick in the rear.

[rumbleseat]

I don't think monogamy is natural for humans either.. I know it's an unpopular opinion here but I've always felt that way.

 

Then stop pretending to be monogamous and have all the sex you want with other single people who know how you feel and share your beliefs.

Problem solved.

[Shepp]

So you wre faithful for x number of years. What do you expect, some sort of hero cookie?

 

You want a reason to stop this philandering? Try picturing your son's face when you tell him that mommy and daddy can't be together, seeing the heartache in his face and knowing that it's all because you wanted a little something on the side. Now picture the look on your wife's face when she finds out that you have been sleeping with a hooker and now she needs to be tested for std's, because you sir, are an idiot if you think that an couple of negative test results means that this woman can't have picked up so,etching in the meantime.

 

Think of having to explain to your wife why she suddenly turns up HIV positive, or finds out she has some other std that can kill her, like syphalis, which drives you crazy before you die a slow and painful death. Sound like fun?

 

And another thing, stop making these choices for your wife about how she will act after your child is born. She may full well surmise you. As is stands right now, you are not letting her know something is missing from your relationship and then tacitly punishing her for not providing it.

 

Btw, stop using " maybe monogamy is wrong" as a some screen for acting like a jerk. You are acting poorly, now instead of making excuses for it, own it and smarten up before life does it for you by giving you one great big kick in the rear.

 

^ Can't be said better than that!!

[Shepp]

I don't think it's natural either. It's something you have to work on.

 

I don't get how people can project what's natural to others based on there own actions?

[violet1]

I don't get how people can project what's natural to others based on there own actions?

 

It really has nothing to do with my own actions. I've been surrounded by infidelity my entire life. My bio grandpa cheated on my grandma. He left her and my new born mom for his pregnant OW. My grandma moved back to her home state. She left my mom with her parents to go back to school. She then became the single OW and my uncle is the result of that relationship. Luckily, my grandma met my grandpa a couple of years later and he adopted my mom and uncle. My uncle on my dad's side left his wife for his OW. My dad cheated on my mom when she was pregnant with my brother. My brother's ex wife cheated on him. My H cheated on me many years ago. Everyone I know has either cheated or been cheated on at least once. No, I dont believe human beings were built for monogamy.

[InnocentMan]

It really has nothing to do with my own actions. I've been surrounded by infidelity my entire life. My bio grandpa cheated on my grandma. He left her and my new born mom for his pregnant OW. My grandma moved back to her home state. She left my mom with her parents to go back to school. She then became the single OW and my uncle is the result of that relationship. Luckily, my grandma met my grandpa a couple of years later and he adopted my mom and uncle. My uncle on my dad's side left his wife for his OW. My dad cheated on my mom when she was pregnant with my brother. My brother's ex wife cheated on him. My H cheated on me many years ago. Everyone I know has either cheated or been cheated on at least once. No, I dont believe human beings were built for monogamy.

 

Humans weren't built, we evolved. We're still evolving. The people that think multiple partners are fine, especially when in a so called committed relationship, have a little catching up to do. If std's do the job that they are intended for, eventually, only the monogamaous will survive.

[tiredofitall2]

Humans weren't built, we evolved. We're still evolving. The people that think multiple partners are fine, especially when in a so called committed relationship, have a little catching up to do. If std's do the job that they are intended for, eventually, only the monogamaous will survive.

 

Probably the reason most animals don't have to worry about STDs, perhaps because they were not meant to be with a single partner. BUT, we are!

[Journee]

Probably the reason most animals don't have to worry about STDs, perhaps because they were not meant to be with a single partner. BUT, we are!

 

Animals do carry and transmit STD's. They suffer from many of the same diseases and conditions that humans do.

 

I'm not sure what your last bit implies. We are meant to spread diseases to one another? Is that what the presence of STD's says to you?

 

I don't think most people would be up in arms if the people that want to have more than one sexual partner would just be honest about it.

[jlola]

It really has nothing to do with my own actions. I've been surrounded by infidelity my entire life. My bio grandpa cheated on my grandma. He left her and my new born mom for his pregnant OW. My grandma moved back to her home state. She left my mom with her parents to go back to school. She then became the single OW and my uncle is the result of that relationship. Luckily, my grandma met my grandpa a couple of years later and he adopted my mom and uncle. My uncle on my dad's side left his wife for his OW. My dad cheated on my mom when she was pregnant with my brother. My brother's ex wife cheated on him. My H cheated on me many years ago. Everyone I know has either cheated or been cheated on at least once. No, I dont believe human beings were built for monogamy.

 

I was surrounded by infidelity also and I see the pain and mess it leaves. Are we not evolved enough to understand leaving one family, or one person to go to another is not destructive? When does this cycle end?

 

In my family we have 6 members parents and 4 girls. Two of my sisters (one is half sister from father's affair)are cheaters and have left destruction everywhere. Children and marriages destroyed. They will insert themselves in other people marriages and also cheat in their own. They have no impulse control or boundaries.

 

It is no surprise my father and my two cheating sisters are selfish,entitled and unhappy people who are constantly searching for happiness with someone new.

 

I really do not think we are not meant to be faithful. That is why one of the 10 Commandments is "Thy shalt not commit adultery"Because even back then,they saw the destruction of infidelity.

 

We are human beings and we can control our impulses. Funny most people do not steal even if they are in dire need of money, do not beat their wife or kids no matter hoW angry and stressed, do not curse out their boss no matter how much they want to because it is WRONG and there are consequences. . It's called self control.

 

Cheating is something that can cause lifelong emotional issues, yet many do not want to control that.They won't steal from a stranger because that is wrong. But they can certainly devalue their spouse and child and cause them pain. Why is that?

 

Probably because if they steal and go to jail will bring them pain. They have to deal with the consequences and selfish people hate consequences. Cheating makes them feel good,big ego boost. So what if it brings pain to those they love. As long as the cheaters do not have to feel any pain(unless they are found out) it's all good!

[tiredofitall2]

Animals do carry and transmit STD's. They suffer from many of the same diseases and conditions that humans do.

 

I'm not sure what your last bit implies. We are meant to spread diseases to one another? Is that what the presence of STD's says to you?

 

I don't think most people would be up in arms if the people that want to have more than one sexual partner would just be honest about it.

 

I was talking about intelligence. People can't be expected to act on instinct alone. But make wise decisions as to why be with a single partner.

[waterwoman]

Monogamy natural? Probably not. So what? Naturally I'd have had 13 or so babies by now, many of whom would have died, and by my age would be dead or in my last tottering years. Naturally I'd have lost all my teeth. Naturally my parents would be long dead. Naturally I'd never have left the area I was born in and lived a hard life or graft, disease and fear. As it is we choose which bits of 'nature' we accept and which we reject. If you choose monogamy, CHOOSE it but don't then lie and cheat and pretend it's natural to do so. No-one forces you to marry or be exclusive, we make choices, all we need to do is own them.

[Shepp]

It really has nothing to do with my own actions. I've been surrounded by infidelity my entire life. ....Everyone I know has either cheated or been cheated on at least once. No, I dont believe human beings were built for monogamy.

 

I don't - my grandparents: solid together since they were 16, my parents: never cheated, my brother & sister and their partners: never cheated been together since they were 14 and 24 respectively.

I hardly know anyone who has had an affair (not including high school relationships and cheating)

 

I think to say your not built for something is to excuse behaviour - you could do that with anything. I absolutely believe humans are designed for monogamy and some choose, make a conscious choice, to go against that!

Edited December 21, 2013 by Shepp

[experiencethedevine]

Humans weren't built, we evolved. We're still evolving. The people that think multiple partners are fine, especially when in a so called committed relationship, have a little catching up to do. If std's do the job that they are intended for, eventually, only the monogamaous will survive.

 

 

Bravo! This in its entirety!.................................

[whatamidoing101]

I'm not seeing that crazy girl anymore, she ended it. For some reason I couldn't. She is seriously messed up. The story is too long to explain but there is no way I could ever have anything serious with her no matter how stunning she is or intelligent.

 

After the first few meetings and talking more and more with her I realised that sex for her is bizarre. She has sex like a man. She was using me like a living vibrator - almost amusing. So all those orgasms were real alight but it wasn't with me she was having them with. She's a sex maniac!

 

At one point she wanted me to leave my partner and live with her! Two weeks later and it's over. Totally volatile and huge mood swings.

 

I wish her all the best.

 

My son has now been born and I need to concentrate on being a father.