napy666 Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I'm 26 and I still live at home. But like a lot of 20 something's some do live on their own in their own house or apartment or condo or with friends or room mates etc. I have dreamed of buying my own house or living on my own someday. But my best friend goes and tells me "Why would you want to go live in an apartment? Your house is paid for and you have everything you want for free". "Yes I do but it isn't my house it's my parents house". It's like she doesn't want me to move out and be on my own but yet she can? Why is she saying this to me? What's her point? Why is she trying to control my life? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 More importantly, Why are you listening to her? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I think your reaction is extream, it's just a statement - a fairly common one too!! I really like living in my house, with my girlfriend and our boys I don't think I'd of wanted to live by myself though (don't get me wrong some people do, I'd get lonely though, I need to be around other people) Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 It sounds as though you crave some independence. Are there reasons why you continue living at home? Link to post Share on other sites
FrankieFrank Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I have a similar problem and I'm getting gradually more pissed off when I see my peers having normal independent lives while I still live with my mom. I plan to move out and rent sth as soon as I find a stable job, which hasn't happened yet. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 That's a little weird she's encouraging you to stay at home. The point is that there comes a time where you move out and pay for your own keep. My brother would live just about anywhere for free if he could. Gaining your own independence you just cannot put a price on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SnapCracklePop Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 That's a little weird she's encouraging you to stay at home. The point is that there comes a time where you move out and pay for your own keep. My brother would live just about anywhere for free if he could. Gaining your own independence you just cannot put a price on. what she said 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Volthi10 Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Your friend is telling you probably from experience but its up to you. I can tell you i lived in my parents house until i was 20, went from living with boyfriends to my sisters house and now I am living completely on my own for the very first time. It is a scary yet nice feeling to know you can do something on you own. It takes a lot of budgeting and commitment to your own place but you can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
hermitinator Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 (edited) I'm 26 and I still live at home. But like a lot of 20 something's some do live on their own in their own house or apartment or condo or with friends or room mates etc. I have dreamed of buying my own house or living on my own someday. But my best friend goes and tells me "Why would you want to go live in an apartment? Your house is paid for and you have everything you want for free". "Yes I do but it isn't my house it's my parents house". It's like she doesn't want me to move out and be on my own but yet she can? Why is she saying this to me? What's her point? Why is she trying to control my life? Wow. Bitch move. Your friend should understand and encourage you to move out of your parents house because it signifies maturity, independence and gives you freedom into adulthood. Your friend's response to your desire to live on your own or have a place of your own (a house, apartment) is disrespectful. To be honest, if I were you, I'd be suspicious if she was actually wanting the best for you as a friend. If you are upset by your friend's reaction, explain that you want her support and that you are suspicious of her lack of support for you to find a place of your own. Communicate your feelings to her. She might have meant nothing of it or she herself is seeing an appeal of not paying rent even if you are living with your parents; it might only express that she is struggling on her own financially. It's not that you want to live alone. Even though, parents will always keep the door open to their children, the adult child will soon realize this is not their "home". Edited December 24, 2013 by hermitinator Link to post Share on other sites
Author napy666 Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 I have never lived on my own or with a friend or boyfriend before. But I have never done this because I've never had a job well I have but they didn't last long. So I couldn't really save or earn money to get a place. So I've always lived at home my whole life. I do know and do save money I get from my parents or sometimes make if I sell stuff online but it isn't near enough for my own house or even apartment haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author napy666 Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 My friend see's my situation as "Why move when you got everything for free?" I know how expensive stuff can be once I move out. But I would like to do it if I can ever afford too. If not my parents don't mind me being here etc. Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 My friend see's my situation as "Why move when you got everything for free?" I know how expensive stuff can be once I move out. But I would like to do it if I can ever afford too. If not my parents don't mind me being here etc. Oh man, your friend sounds like a freeloader, no offense. The reality is that life isn't free and once you finish school or a trade or get a decent job, you're supposed to be a self sufficient adult who can make it on their own without their parents. Your parents aren't obligated to support you anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 I've never understood the "either/or" thinking of "I have to buy my own house or live at home with my parents." There is middle ground, like living with housemates in a rental house or large apartment. You don't need to rent an apartment on your own until you can afford it. It's a great way to learn independent living. Link to post Share on other sites
Pearl27 Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Living with roommates isn't so bad. Sure, you may get a rotten apple but move somewhere else ASAP. The best part about roommates is that you are not alone. You get to develop social and problem solving skills that could help you in other areas in life, such as work or in-laws. As long as you and your roommates are cordial to each other, its a good arrangement. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) I think finding employment is a good start. Is there anything that you've always wanted to do? Maybe there is something preventing you from working? Have you tried visiting a career center or vocational rehabilitation? If you live in an apartment you're just pissing money away in the form of rent that you'll never see again. Some are fortunate enough to live with parents until they purchase their own house early on. Linemen, underwater welders, small niche careers tend to offer enough money for a high-school graduate to pull it off. So I can somewhat understand your friend's sentiments. She doesn't seem controlling at a glance. Edited December 28, 2013 by ThatMan Link to post Share on other sites
WirelessBrain Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 I think your reaction is a little dramatic. After all, this is your best friend and we know best friends wouldn't try to "control" your life. She is probably just being flippant. I mean come on it is easier living at home, it is all paid for but I think you need to just take that chance and go for it, rather than talk about it do it because no-one else will do it for you. I don't wish to come off as harsh but sometimes I think we all need a bit of a wake-up slap. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 I have never lived on my own or with a friend or boyfriend before. But I have never done this because I've never had a job well I have but they didn't last long. So I couldn't really save or earn money to get a place. So I've always lived at home my whole life. I do know and do save money I get from my parents or sometimes make if I sell stuff online but it isn't near enough for my own house or even apartment haha. Living for free and not working isn't helping you to grow up and support yourself. Get a job and be productive everyday. Earn money and save it for your own goals. Link to post Share on other sites
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