Adam27 Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I've written a previous ( long one about moving on) She's seeing this guy ( says its the hardest decision of her life). I broke up with her But she keeps messaging me to say Hi and talk about whats she got going on ( exams anything. anytime shes listening to a song or doing anything she sends a message saying remember this or that etc.) yesterday she let slip saying she doesn't know why shes in a relationship and it doesn't take a genius to know that its a bad idea and can only end badly ( her words). she also says shes not ready to be with me and when she forgives me she will be but she loves me and will try eventually. saying if we got back together now it wont work beacuse shes still angry and will have all the power. It seems like BS to me. shes gone and gotten herself an actual boyfriend. says its not serious but its on instagram and fb :/ . Later at night she sent me two messages saying she F***** misses me. I replied saying. if you love me and miss me. prove it. she just seemed to freeze . I think i'm being led on and used as a fall back guy. surely if she loves me she will try to or at least wait to get over me before committing to another person ? Link to post Share on other sites
deponie12 Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 My ex is doing the same thing in voice mails ( I went no contact 7 weeks ago). Part of the reason he is doing it is out of guilt- trying to see if I am doing ok. The other is I am the fall back girl. He has done so many wrong thing in the last three years and I always took him back... this time I am gone. Being in contact hurts, you need time to move on and heal. Go no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
strive Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I didn't read your other post, but let me get this straight, you broke up with her and then told her that if she loves you she has to prove it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 you breaking up with her was the smartest thing you could have done. That chick doesn't know right from left nor up from down. LEAVE HER ALONE. You can't start an amazing relationship with NO TRUST. I replied to your first post. Hopefully you see the ****ery and nonsense in her actions. Use this as a learning experience and make better choices. Recognize the red flags that you ignored with her. Link to post Share on other sites
AlphaC Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I didn't read your other post, but let me get this straight, you broke up with her and then told her that if she loves you she has to prove it? ha ha, i was wondering the same thing so I read his other post (a little hard to read due to grammar but anyway...). His story is as follows, he dates his ex, then decides he has to leave the country to take care of family matters, he tells the ex to wait around, she does. At some point he becomes distant and breaks up with the girl, then tells her to wait around while he figures stuff out. During this time the poor girl meets someone else and he is wondering what the hell happened, lol. Sorry my man, but you are the one with all the issues, you should be working to get this girl back. If she is in a new stable relationship with a person who cares for her you need to leave her alone. You want this girl back because she has moved on, she is no longer waiting for you to decide, to figure out what it is you want in life. And before you start talking about your family issues I will tell you this, 1) you dumped her; 2) people who love each other and care for one another rely on each other and support each other during times of need. As a man you were fortunate that this woman was strong to stick around with you, after you dumped her she moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
strive Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Thanks alphac for the clearer picture! Ok OP, so from what you wrote, I'm going to guess that the new bf is because she is trying to get over you, but she's weak and can't help but contact you (if she were here in LS everyone would've shouted at her to go NC on you). And why did she freeze after she told you she misses you? Well, because she doesn't want to be put in a vulnerable position again. You told her to prove it, but what if she did and you reject her again? She is afraid of what you'd do to her. She's probably thinking you already rejected her once, what's to say you won't do it again? Link to post Share on other sites
AlphaC Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Thanks alphac for the clearer picture! Ok OP, so from what you wrote, I'm going to guess that the new bf is because she is trying to get over you, but she's weak and can't help but contact you (if she were here in LS everyone would've shouted at her to go NC on you). And why did she freeze after she told you she misses you? Well, because she doesn't want to be put in a vulnerable position again. You told her to prove it, but what if she did and you reject her again? She is afraid of what you'd do to her. She's probably thinking you already rejected her once, what's to say you won't do it again? Read his original post, he excluded her from his friends, family and work functions and she even caught him sending text messages to other females. He was not sure if he was staying or leaving, and it was only once she moved on that he told her he was going to stay (location wise). Maybe i'm too macho but you can never tell someone you made sacrifices for them, it's for them to figure it out. This guy had this woman wrapped around his finger, eventually she loosened that grip and left. NOW he wants her to prove her love to him, she waited more than 5 months for him to figure it out, what man gets this type of luxury, he WAS lucky!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adam27 Posted December 19, 2013 Author Share Posted December 19, 2013 Read his original post, he excluded her from his friends, family and work functions and she even caught him sending text messages to other females. He was not sure if he was staying or leaving, and it was only once she moved on that he told her he was going to stay (location wise). Maybe i'm too macho but you can never tell someone you made sacrifices for them, it's for them to figure it out. This guy had this woman wrapped around his finger, eventually she loosened that grip and left. NOW he wants her to prove her love to him, she waited more than 5 months for him to figure it out, what man gets this type of luxury, he WAS lucky!!! Maybe I typed the first message too quickly or you didn't read it properly. I asked her NOT to wait because I didn't think it fair. My family live abroad but they know about her and liked her. I met hers and qe get on well. She is friends with my best mate and I don't have a lot of friends local and she met them. She got really panickiy because alot of them were girls and it made me uncomfortable bringing hwr round them. In the five months alot happened. She was definitely NOT wrapped around my finger. I couldn't come back until I had things sorted amd I felt She isnt in a stable new relationship. She told me she wasnt sure of him but she was scared to hurt him. She told me she loves me and wishes i didnt take so long. I tried to give her spacw to figure it out. Yes I was lucky to have hee but not in the way you think. Shes amazing but there was alit of insecurity and immaturity brought on by BOTH of us. I couldn't just come back to her without aortingout my issues. I thought she would too... BUT NO she isn't happy. Her friend. Callwd me to say she was worried. Also I didn't come back because she was seeing someone. I wasnt aware of him till a bit later Link to post Share on other sites
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