steveT95 Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 So recently I developed a pretty big crush on a friend. We've gotten really close and talk quite a lot. The problem was she had a boyfriend but wasn't happen. She broke up with him and her head was a mess. She said he was still and option, but so was I as well as remaining single. All her family were glad when she broke up with him because he's controlling. She was quite upset by the break-up. Last night they got back together although she's regretting it and doesn't know what she wants. I'm pretty sure she just pities him. She was worried about get back with him in case it upset me as well, she is aware I am interested in her. She doesn't want to lose me because I good at helping with her problems *friendzone alert!* I've taken a step back and don't really want to be involved, but I am. How much support do I offer if she's upset? I don't know how to act around her, I love her company but just feel mad at times. I want to shake her because she is messing her boyfriend around because I have never heard her say a good thing about him. I know she's just scared of hurting people. Me and her had a trip to london planned at the end of January and with friends to Portugal in June. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 moderator bump Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Seems like you're her back up plan. She wants to try again with her bf, and then if it doesn't work out, she knows you'll still be hanging around waiting for her. Dude this is not a good place for you to be. Don't be friend-zoned by her... you friend-zone HER! She has shown that you are not a priority for her but simply one of many options. She would rather go back to the bad boy that everyone hates, than you. You should friend-zone her, then get out there and find other women. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 (edited) So recently I developed a pretty big crush on a friend. We've gotten really close and talk quite a lot. The problem was she had a boyfriend but wasn't happen. She broke up with him and her head was a mess. She said he was still and option, but so was I as well as remaining single. All her family were glad when she broke up with him because he's controlling. She was quite upset by the break-up. Last night they got back together although she's regretting it and doesn't know what she wants. I'm pretty sure she just pities him. She was worried about get back with him in case it upset me as well, she is aware I am interested in her. She doesn't want to lose me because I good at helping with her problems *friendzone alert!* I've taken a step back and don't really want to be involved, but I am. How much support do I offer if she's upset? I don't know how to act around her, I love her company but just feel mad at times. I want to shake her because she is messing her boyfriend around because I have never heard her say a good thing about him. I know she's just scared of hurting people. Me and her had a trip to london planned at the end of January and with friends to Portugal in June. how do you know she wants your help with her problems? as far as that goes......listen offer what you feel comfortable with or suggest talk group therapy for her....might help....., ultimately the only one who can sort her problems out is her...... being scared of hurting people is normally exhibited when someone themselves has been hurt therefore develops an empathy fro those around them ...and a real strong need not to repeat history......even with possible abusive or agressive people...this ....needs therapy i hav4e made myself homeless....for my in ability to ask someone to leave when i was younger...i have to watch myself...i can become....too accomodating, for my inability to enforce personal boundaries(i had them breached young in many ways) and my hearts desire never to hurt someone is unrealistic.....i am self aware...... took years and now i am stronger......i stand up..... i think you state how you feel about her what you want to happen and try and set some time constraints on change and personal growth......that is my suggestion....the only way to unmess a head is bring order to thoughts processes and goals.military style........some times it takes a compassionate professional outsider to look through the window and say hey ...some thing isnt right here.........and rearrange thought processes either influenced by past or present situations by a simple lets start at the beginning and work our way through it...step by step...... one step at a time..and it isnt easy,a supportive network around her will make it easier.....deb Edited December 20, 2013 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts