Is OLD a waste of time?

[trevzilla]

I really despise this crappy attitude that everyone who has an online dating account(s) is inherently socially inept... and furthermore that it's somehow the ONLY means that we use to meet people. We all somehow bury tens of hours a week into it.

 

To some of us, it's the best option because we're too busy as professionals, students, or whatever to eff around trying to meet people at random. On top of that, as we get into our thirties, and get a better idea of what we want and need in a long term partner, "interviewing" randos is HORRIBLY inefficient. This leaves matchmakers (which cost a bundle), friends who might know compatible people (a resource that taps out quickly), and online dating. I can't see where volunteering or joining a dance class somehow weeds out the incompatibles better than the above mentioned methodologies. That being said, OLD was a complete waste of time. When I decide it's time to settle down with a woman older than me, fat with kids and a lousy career, I'll take it for a spin again.

 

I've been hitting up meetups, going to bars/shows, doing things I enjoy like car meets, hitting up coffee shops and bookstores, and there's no women at any of these places that even glance at me. How is that more productive? I've got one convo in my OKC inbox right now that MIGHT lead to a date. Sure, it's a online dating is a crappy ROI, but frankly, I fail to see how the real world is any better, particularly at my age (36) where no one wants you... and with online dating I know ahead of time she doesn't like kids, is passionate about music, is educated, and so on, before I meet here.

 

I don't pretend to understand the lack of communication in online dating (with men in particular, the ones not sending D. pics and talking like d1Z, people who can form a complete, articulate sentence like myself), or why there is such a shortage of women in the medium, but bars don't fare much better... plus you get the couples syndrome in places like that.

 

It was a generalization, but generally true. Come on, my grandfather's generation didn't need OLD to meet and get married. It's not like they weren't busy working and with life either, that's just a BS excuse. It's very noticeable with foreign women. My experiences with foreign women have been far better than with Vancouver women who are about as enjoyable to engage in public as a brick wall. The foreign women I met knew how to play the game and flirted and let me know they were interested. With Vancouver women, I never have a clue and have to ask them out to get my answer. In Vancouver you get very little help from women if any when it comes to getting dates. It's just so much easier with women from cultures where they still participate in courtship and romance. I have friends who have sworn off local women and will only date non local women. I haven't gone that far, but I put very little effort into going out to meet women like I used to. I spend most of my weekends at home and venture out with friends and to run errands. Chance of me meeting my soul mate at a laundry mat or grocery store in Vancouver...zero. Therefore I don't try anymore.

 

I was invited to an orphans Christmas last night and a guy I work with at POF was there too. He's 35 years old and spend most of the night playing with his phone and checking facebook and his messages on POF. I have a cousin with severe social anxiety, I can't imagine why that would be since he spent his childhood and teens (he's 16) in front of a computer. Thing is when he was young he was a cool and popular kid. He's been ruined by social media and online gaming and my aunt says she knows about his porn browsing habits. This is the generation that is going out into the world. At least when I was growing up there was no internet and we went outside to make our own fun. Again a generalization, but that's a lot of people's experience growing up now. There was a car accident in Albert a couple of years ago where a bunch of teenage girls died because they were texting each other while driving. How asinine is that? They were in the same vehicle, but needed to text each other.

Edited December 26, 2013 by trevzilla

[Eau Claire]

I met my guy on OLD. Love him to pieces. My best friend met her fellow. ( both used Match).

 

I would think that many people meet someone rather quickly. I was the only one my guy messaged. I met 2 others but was still only on the site for a couple of weeks.

 

I live in a city of a million so perhaps there was more initial choice to find the right guy.

[Pretty.in.Pink]

OLD works for women, but not for men. So, given that lopsided state of affairs, why would any man bother with it? The sad part is that OLD often gives women swelled heads and they end up thinking no man is good enough for them unless he looks like a movie star.

 

Ummm...so who exactly are these women dating if it only works for women? Each other? If a woman is successful, a guy was successful too!

 

To the OP:

 

I tried it for the first time a couple of years ago, and it worked for my boyfriend and me. I kick myself for not trying sooner since it was a much more efficient and a much faster way to find someone compatible than any other social avenue out there...at least it was for me. Most of my friends met their spouses via OLD. You end up meeting folks you otherwise would never encounter!

 

The keys:

1. Find an OLD site that is aligned with what you're looking for. Who you meet and expectations will be very different on eHarmony vs. Craigslist or Adult Friend Finder, for example.
   
2. Put some thought and effort into your photo selection and your profile write-up. You get out of OLD what you put in.
   
3. Finally, dating and finding someone is an inherently inefficient process--whether done the old-fashioned way through parties, social gatherings, bars, your social circle, school/work, etc., or through online dating. OLD simply amps up the number of singles in the appropriate age range who you can contact. You still have to do the hard work of reaching out, grabbing a potential date's interest and having the qualities that person wants in a partner. Just be yourself and keep trying until you encounter mutual interest and a spark. It will happen!
   

[Thegreatestthing]

I would not use anything else,I am mostly almost only attracted to Slavic(Eastern Europe) guys there are none of them where I live.

 

Online there are plenty,and the strange thing is 90 percent of the guys who message me are Slavic, even though they are not a huge group,it's like they know I prefer them,or I just look Slavic I don't know.

 

Definately better than dating all the Anglo guys were I live who I'm not attracted to.

[trevzilla]

Ummm...so who exactly are these women dating if it only works for women? Each other? If a woman is successful, a guy was successful too!

 

To the OP:

 

I tried it for the first time a couple of years ago, and it worked for my boyfriend and me. I kick myself for not trying sooner since it was a much more efficient and a much faster way to find someone compatible than any other social avenue out there...at least it was for me. Most of my friends met their spouses via OLD. You end up meeting folks you otherwise would never encounter!

 

The keys:

1. Find an OLD site that is aligned with what you're looking for. Who you meet and expectations will be very different on eHarmony vs. Craigslist or Adult Friend Finder, for example.
   
2. Put some thought and effort into your photo selection and your profile write-up. You get out of OLD what you put in.
   
3. Finally, dating and finding someone is an inherently inefficient process--whether done the old-fashioned way through parties, social gatherings, bars, your social circle, school/work, etc., or through online dating. OLD simply amps up the number of singles in the appropriate age range who you can contact. You still have to do the hard work of reaching out, grabbing a potential date's interest and having the qualities that person wants in a partner. Just be yourself and keep trying until you encounter mutual interest and a spark. It will happen!
   

 

Because there are way more men than women, so right off the bat a bunch of guys are never going to meet anyone. Secondly there are a lot of psychos and time wasting serial daters. Since I work for an online dating site, I have to maintain a profile and I see a lot of the same women have been on for ages. Plus women just have to sit back and let the messages roll in and line up several dates a week if they want. Men, on the other hand, send out dozens of messages and have a small fraction replied to and a subset of those that actually turn into dates. So men have to expend enormous effort, unless they look like a GQ model in the pics, for very few dates. Obviously it's a much better deal for women.

 

A women in my building has been using POF and told me she's having a great time going on all these dates and she's moderately attractive. I talk to guys using it and it's a different story, they aren't generally very happy and it's an ego deflating experience. The only guy I met who was lining up tons of dates was a decent looking Irish guy. Women like the novelty of the Irish background and the accent. They message him and ask if he's got an accent.

Edited December 30, 2013 by trevzilla

[Eau Claire]

Beats me how it only works for women. For every women who found a partner on OLD, so did a guy. My guy found me.

[ZipperZapper]

Because there are way more men than women, so right off the bat a bunch of guys are never going to meet anyone. Secondly there are a lot of psychos and time wasting serial daters. Since I work for an online dating site, I have to maintain a profile and I see a lot of the same women have been on for ages. Plus women just have to sit back and let the messages roll in and line up several dates a week if they want. Men, on the other hand, send out dozens of messages and have a small fraction replied to and a subset of those that actually turn into dates. So men have to expend enormous effort, unless they look like a GQ model in the pics, for very few dates. Obviously it's a much better deal for women.

 

A women in my building has been using POF and told me she's having a great time going on all these dates and she's moderately attractive. I talk to guys using it and it's a different story, they aren't generally very happy and it's an ego deflating experience. The only guy I met who was lining up tons of dates was a decent looking Irish guy. Women like the novelty of the Irish background and the accent. They message him and ask if he's got an accent.

 

The sentences I've highlighted in bold text are indications of a trend that is going to completely destroy OLD in the next little while. Word is getting out about what a poor deal OLD is for guys, and they're going to leave OLD sites en masse. You can't continually abuse a subset of the population and expect that they will come back for more - and pay good money for the experience.

 

I've decided that I'm going to stop dating for good - OLD, offline, wherever. It's become very clear that I simply wasn't meant to have anyone in my life. I keep asking myself - how many more rejections must I accept before I find someone - five hundred, a thousand, a million? I'm a great guy and have lots to offer, but there isn't a woman out there who can see that, so there must be something horribly wrong with me that they can see, but I can't.

 

Most sane people know that after trying something dozens of times and not getting anywhere that it's time to quit, it's not meant to be.

[Thegreatestthing]

"and they're going to leave OLD sites en masse"

 

Haha,never,men will never leave.

 

Also I've figured out why guys have such a terrible time on OLD,most of them are toads who aim much too high and are incredibly unrealistic,instead of attempting girls at their level so they have a bad time of it.

Edited December 30, 2013 by Thegreatestthing

[Pretty.in.Pink]

Because there are way more men than women, so right off the bat a bunch of guys are never going to meet anyone. Secondly there are a lot of psychos and time wasting serial daters. Since I work for an online dating site, I have to maintain a profile and I see a lot of the same women have been on for ages. Plus women just have to sit back and let the messages roll in and line up several dates a week if they want. Men, on the other hand, send out dozens of messages and have a small fraction replied to and a subset of those that actually turn into dates. So men have to expend enormous effort, unless they look like a GQ model in the pics, for very few dates. Obviously it's a much better deal for women.

 

A women in my building has been using POF and told me she's having a great time going on all these dates and she's moderately attractive. I talk to guys using it and it's a different story, they aren't generally very happy and it's an ego deflating experience. The only guy I met who was lining up tons of dates was a decent looking Irish guy. Women like the novelty of the Irish background and the accent. They message him and ask if he's got an accent.

 

Let's be clear...there are way more men than women on POF. Let's not generalize from one disreputable hookup site rife with horny lechers, men pretending to be women, and almost no women to every dating site. The gender ratio is completely reversed on some other sites.

 

Second, adult women outnumber adult men. If you're marinating in a sausage fest, consider a different venue.

 

Speaking in general terms, perhaps the bitterness and gender bashing that oozes out of many of the posts on this site are part of the reason some have such difficulties on the dating front. Both genders are drawn to potential dating partners who are happy, positive, and secure with themselves, who are kind, compassionate, and empathetic, and who do not immediately resort to broad (negative) gender generalizations at the drop of a hat...in other words, who see potential partners as individuals and have the skills to relate to and empathize with others. It has nothing to do with looking like a model and everything to do with attitude and maturity level.

 

Would you date you? Be completely honest with yourself. If the answer isn't a resounding "yes," especially if you're struggling on the dating front, look at what you might change about yourself so that you're a more appealing dating partner. Dating (and the failures we experience along the way) are all opportunities for personal growth. Every life experience is an opportunity for growth. Lose the sense of entitlement that you deserve X, Y, or Z simply for breathing. It holds so many back from accomplishing their goals.

[Disillusioned]

If OLD worked for you, then you're either a model, a millionaire, or a talking head working for the sites.

 

The only way I'd use OLD is to get the girl IRL first, then put up a profile with lots of pics of us being happy together, with a message that this could be you if you switched to meetups.

[ZipperZapper]

"and they're going to leave OLD sites en masse"

 

Haha,never,men will never leave.

 

Also I've figured out why guys have such a terrible time on OLD,most of them are toads who aim much too high and are incredibly unrealistic,instead of attempting girls at their level so they have a bad time of it.

 

And what do you say to guys who use OLD, are realistic and and aim for women at their level, but still get nowhere? Is that their fault, too??

 

And calling men 'toads' seems to express what you and a lot of other women think of men these days if they're not perfect - i.e., tall, rich, good-looking.

[polynomial]

my sister found a guy through online dating. guess it takes a lot of luck though.

[ZipperZapper]

my sister found a guy through online dating. guess it takes a lot of luck though.

 

Ya got that right. A huge amount of luck. As in, 'I-just-won-the-lottery' kind of luck. Meanwhile OLD site operators are laughing all the way to the bank as they profit from people's misery, just like governments do as they profit from the stupidity of people who buy lottery tickets thinking they can get riches for virtually no effort on their part.

[Scales]

I wish I could join in this lynch mob against OLD, but as a guy I can say I've had a fair amount of success with it. I'm not a model. I am however in my late 20s and 6'2". OLD is highly competitive and as such it is a skill to be learned. Unfortunately, being a guy who likes to travel and cook, go to some kind of church, is a billiards master, likes dogs, and is an accountant is not enough and possibly even a negative. Its just not different enough from your competitors to catch some attention. If I had any criticism of OLD, it would be that too many people treat their profile and messages as a drawn up legal document or selling their used car. Where is the sense of romance and excitement so necessary for attraction?

 

OLD is another medium of meeting a girl(or boy) and is not all that different from meeting someone IRL except for the competition. Doing some research on what is successful in OLD works wonders. It is fascinating actually. Looking up what other guys write to women, what kind of messages women have responded too, what other guys write in their profiles, and how to create decent pictures and an intro is all very socially intriguing. Something that becomes fun. Rejection is no big deal even after the millionth time if you're trying different things that entertain you.

 

I don't want people to feel like I'm defending OLD. The TV show Catfish alone is enough to make anyone feel sick about it. Its competitive nature is ego crushing and nobody who has had a decent amount of success in life wants to feel like they are a loser in something they are making an effort at. If you can separate rejection from the opposite sex from the confidence in your self and your own life, it can work. Even the model perfect A&F guys will get rejected on OLD. Don't sweat it, keep trying, and enjoy it.

[Mrlonelyone]

Let's be clear...there are way more men than women on POF. Let's not generalize from one disreputable hookup site rife with horny lechers, men pretending to be women, and almost no women to every dating site. The gender ratio is completely reversed on some other sites.

 

Second, adult women outnumber adult men. If you're marinating in a sausage fest, consider a different venue.

 

Speaking in general terms, perhaps the bitterness and gender bashing that oozes out of many of the posts on this site are part of the reason some have such difficulties on the dating front. Both genders are drawn to potential dating partners who are happy, positive, and secure with themselves, who are kind, compassionate, and empathetic, and who do not immediately resort to broad (negative) gender generalizations at the drop of a hat...in other words, who see potential partners as individuals and have the skills to relate to and empathize with others. It has nothing to do with looking like a model and everything to do with attitude and maturity level.

 

Would you date you? Be completely honest with yourself. If the answer isn't a resounding "yes," especially if you're struggling on the dating front, look at what you might change about yourself so that you're a more appealing dating partner. Dating (and the failures we experience along the way) are all opportunities for personal growth. Every life experience is an opportunity for growth. Lose the sense of entitlement that you deserve X, Y, or Z simply for breathing. It holds so many back from accomplishing their goals.

 

 

I don't see why you need to dump on men who've had negative experiences with OLD. It stands to reason that some people will have an easier time than others. Some people will have a very hard time.

 

 

As for what you wrote about "attitude" and maturity level. How in Gods name can anyone know that from a dating profile? Get real. Scientific peer reviewed published research on online dating habits has demonstrated that it is 90% about your picture. So much so that people will tell big lies about it.

 

 

Looks and Lies: The Role of Physical Attractiveness in Online Dating Self-Presentation and Deception

[ZipperZapper]

Let's be clear...there are way more men than women on POF. Let's not generalize from one disreputable hookup site rife with horny lechers, men pretending to be women, and almost no women to every dating site. The gender ratio is completely reversed on some other sites.

 

Pray, do tell which dating sites have a reversed gender balance where the women outnumber the men by a wide margin?

 

Second, adult women outnumber adult men. If you're marinating in a sausage fest, consider a different venue.

Unfortunately, the point you seem to be missing is that OLD works for women because they get all the choices and the ability to be very picky, while the men do not. Once again, what venues would you suggest for

men seeking more success on OLD sites? <hearing the sound of crickets chirping right about now>

 

Speaking in general terms, perhaps the bitterness and gender bashing that oozes out of many of the posts on this site are part of the reason some have such difficulties on the dating front.

The gender bashing aimed at women is justified. After all, your feminist sisters started it, and were successful in creating conditions that favour women at the expense of men. Men are entitled to bash back.

 

Both genders are drawn to potential dating partners who are happy, positive, and secure with themselves, who are kind, compassionate, and empathetic, and who do not immediately resort to broad (negative) gender generalizations at the drop of a hat...in other words, who see potential partners as individuals and have the skills to relate to and empathize with others. It has nothing to do with looking like a model and everything to do with attitude and maturity level.

So, you assume I'm personally looking for a supermodel. You don't even know me, yet you have the temerity to assume this is what I'm automatically looking for just because I am a man. I certainly don't make generalizations about the opposite sex in any of my online dating profiles, so how is it possible that women can view my profile and somehow guess that I'm anything less than kind, empathetic and compassionate? You're doing a lot of projecting here, something that women are extremely good at doing.

 

You also assume that anyone who is bitter and unhappy about their love lives must necessarily have a low level of maturity and have a bad attitude. We didn't start out having a bad attitude, the way we've been treated by women made us that way. And there aren't enough women coming forward to show us that there are in fact decent, kind, loving, non-parasitic women out there. If this sort of thing was actually happening, you'd be hearing virtually no complaints from men.

 

Being angry and unhappy about a non-existent love life while others are able to have a love life is a normal reaction to that kind of adversity, and it's human nature. Be honest with me. How long do you think you could maintain a veneer of happiness if you were continually rejected and denigrated by the opposite sex? Like a lot of women, you've never known what it's like to be treated as lower than whale shyte by the opposite sex.

 

Would you date you? Be completely honest with yourself. If the answer isn't a resounding "yes," especially if you're struggling on the dating front, look at what you might change about yourself so that you're a more appealing dating partner. Dating (and the failures we experience along the way) are all opportunities for personal growth. Every life experience is an opportunity for growth. Lose the sense of entitlement that you deserve X, Y, or Z simply for breathing. It holds so many back from accomplishing their goals.

I'll lose the sense of entitlement when women lose their sense of entitlement to a guy who's 6'2", rich, and has movie-star looks despite the fact that they can't even begin to meet such men on any one of those parameters when it comes to physical attractiveness and financial success.

 

Women talk about equality, but when the rubber hits the road, they seek inequality - i.e. conditions that favour women over men, special status and treatment.

[Thegreatestthing]

OLD guys are not interested in attempting normal women,that is why I get one message every hour or half hour which I reply too,and the 11s get one message every minute.even the ugly guys/geeks are busy writing to these girls.

 

 

You would get replies if you wrote to normal girls.

Edited December 30, 2013 by Thegreatestthing

[Scales]

OLD guys are not interested in attempting normal women,that is why I get one message every hour or half hour which I reply too,and the 11s get one message every minute.even the ugly guys/geeks are busy writing to these girls.

 

 

You would get replies if you wrote to normal girls.

 

oh my must be tough getting messages only 20 times a day

[ZipperZapper]

OLD guys are not interested in attempting normal women,that is why I get one message every hour or half hour which I reply too,and the 11s get one message every minute.even the ugly guys/geeks are busy writing to these girls.

 

 

You would get replies if you wrote to normal girls.

 

Actually, if you go on a site like match.com, you will find tons of women with better than average looks, so please tell me where the 'normal' women with average to below average attractiveness can be found on match, because there aren't any. Or damned few, at any rate. I don't believe in emailing a woman just because she is there and I think I might have a chance with her. There has to be some basic compatibility.

 

The other problem is that a lot of the so-called 'normal' girls think they're entitled to men with better than average looks, so your answer is still no solution.

[Thegreatestthing]

By normal I mean just a girl at your level,not a 10/11.

Those girls get a message every minute and then guys have the idiocy to wonder why they don't get a reply.

 

I reply to every message I get,Because I am a normal pretty looking woman not mega hot.

I hardly ever get messages from interesting or unusual looking geek guys or when I do they quickly fade out because they are busy aiming for the 11s.

 

I actually get more messages from the jock like guys.The mega hot ones were getting all the messages from the geeks at a high rate.i no longer have any sympathy for them.

[ZipperZapper]

By normal I mean just a girl at your level,not a 10/11.

Those girls get a message every minute and then guys have the idiocy to wonder why they don't get a reply.

 

I reply to every message I get,Because I am a normal pretty looking woman not mega hot.

I hardly ever get messages from interesting or unusual looking geek guys or when I do they quickly fade out because they are busy aiming for the 11s.

 

I actually get more messages from the jock like guys.The mega hot ones were getting all the messages from the geeks at a high rate.i no longer have any sympathy for them.

 

You clearly didn't read and comprehend my reply. I already told you I was consistently aiming for women who have average to below-average looks - i.e. 'normal' women and still wasn't getting anywhere.

 

Well, you wanna know something? Maybe if the girls weren't getting a message a minute, the guys might find themselves getting more replies. So it seems to me we need to find a way to throttle the flood of messages so that ordinary guys have a chance of finding dates. Because I can tell you that if the status quo with respect to OLD remains, the guys aren't going to be on the OLD sites much longer. The word *is* getting out, regardless of what youy might think.

[Thegreatestthing]

There is no better way to describe them I have never seen so many buff hot guys them on OLD not even outside in the world,and there is no quicker way to refer to the more unique guys who are more bookish and intellectual.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

I went on 14 dates and had been online roughly 8 months before I met my guy. He had been online for 2 days and I was his first date. He thinks I'm the most incredible woman he's ever been with.

 

His brother has been online a year and a half and was the one that pushed him to do it. He's pissed that my guy found success with the very first date. Lol. Since we've been together, I've seen his brother with a new date almost every weekend. I think he's been at it too long. He no longer knows what he wants, and just keeps looking for the next best thing. It's become an addiction. Makes me glad I met my guy before he fell into this cycle.

[WP4046]

If OLD worked for you, then you're either a model, a millionaire, or a talking head working for the sites.

 

The only way I'd use OLD is to get the girl IRL first, then put up a profile with lots of pics of us being happy together, with a message that this could be you if you switched to meetups.

 

 

It doesn't work for ugly people

[Antares]

I find that it's a whole bunch of factors.

 

Girls (a lot of them - not just the 10s & 11s) are inundated with messages.

 

A: Many are simply: "Hi, what's up?"

B: Many are boring, or fail to entice a conversation.

C: Many are sexualized, crude, crass, or offensive.

D: Many are misspelled or poorly written.

E: Many are copy/paste messages that are sent to every girl and fail to address anything about the girl getting the message

F: Many are way too long / or describe the entire life story of the sender

G: Many are actually well-written, well-thought out, genuine messages. But these get buried in the avalanche of messages A-F.

 

Imagine getting dozens of messages in your inbox daily and it's nothing but the A-F kind. Even when you did get a genuine one, you'd either be tired, or worse, you'd fail to even notice it in the first place.

 

For the girls actually reading those genuine messages, some respond and some do not - depending if they're attracted to the sender, or if they think it's good match.

 

You'd probably think that the genuine ones would stand out, and maybe they do, but I'm betting a lot just get frustrated with the whole damn thing.

 

The amount of time you have to make an impression is seconds long. If your message is interesting, then she may look at your profile too. But then she determines if you're what she's looking for. Pics, profile, life, etc.

 

And there are other factors as well.

 

Some girls aren't looking to write back.

Some girls are just browsing, or are bored.

Some girls are just looking for the ego stroke.

Some girls are extremely picky (but Guys are too)

 

And that doesn't even begin to account for pay dating sites, where most profiles aren't real paying members. Which means, that the person you're writing to, can't read your genuine message. (And you can't even tell, unless you decide to upgrade and see if they're 'read' or not.)

 

My personal experience is that the pay sites, are even more exclusively picky. I'd wager that since people are paying, they choose to be more picky. Feeling that they need to get their monies worth.

 

And that's with the dating websites. There's also dating apps.

 

I was on the subway the other day, and I noticed a girl using one of those dating apps. She must've went through 50 profiles. With a quick thumb swipe, she said NO to most of them. She must've spent 1.2 seconds "looking" at each one. I kid you not, it was just swipe, swipe, swipe...No no no. Every once in a while, I counted 3, she'd swipe right and click "Like". And a good majority of them seemed like regular somewhat attractive dudes. She just wasn't attracted to them, or they weren't her type.

 

That's the process you're dealing with here. And guys do it too. And it doesn't really foster attraction at all. It's not even how attraction works. It's hard to sense attraction over the internet, or on your phone, when attraction is based on looks, chemicals, smells, and on the 80% of non verbal communications that we express. Here... It's all just immediate response, like changing channels, and you have about 1.2 seconds of digital exposure.

 

I find that OLD becomes like online shopping. And everyone has a shopping list. People end up hunting down that exact large screen tv that they want. The right brand, the size, the resolution. And everything else gets overlooked. Because, darnit, I want the 50", not the 47".

 

Lastly, imagine you (guy or girl) start going on some of these dates. You've managed to get a good message, he/she seemed normal, not crazy, no red flags. You meet but unfortunately there's no spark, no connection, she/he smells bad, or has a weird voice, or didn't laugh at your jokes. Or worse the guy spoke about himself all night. The girl talked about her exes. She/he was a bad kisser. You go on a few of these and it begins to make you even more picky during the initial message selecting process. Because, darnit, if that 91% match wasn't good enough, I better start drawing the line at 94%ers.

 

Personally, I'm about the give OLD a break. I just shut down one profile and I'm about to do the same to another. I've had moderate success. I'm at best average looking, but I make up for it other areas. I get a decent amount of responses, sometimes I get ignored by 96% matches, sometimes I get initial messages from women, some messages I respond to, some I do not...and sometimes I just ignore them - because I go about living the rest of my life. I've gone on dates. I had a 4 month mini-relationship earlier this year from OLD, with a girl whom I thought was amazing - a perfect match, and I've known a bunch of people who met online and are now married. So it can work.

 

And it's good to have access to people you'd otherwise never come across, but...wow...the process is a daunting one.