TheBladeRunner Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 ^^^ This ^^^ I've filed. I have no problem following through. If she wants to repair the marriage, well then, it's time to own up to a few things. And I'm not waiting 6-8 years for it. I couldn't wait either and there was no way I was going to pile a year of my time into a reconciliation only to have it go south anyway. I have a few friends, male and female that did "R" several years after the A, but only when the offending party was ready to own up to what happened. In all 3 cases it took the one male friend 8 years, the other 11, and my female friend 7 years before the WS acknowledged their role in the mess without ANY blame to the BS. Frankly, I don't care if mine ever cops to it, it is what it is and it always will be. JMO Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 This thread is interesting. *kicks back* Link to post Share on other sites
Author george roy Posted December 20, 2013 Author Share Posted December 20, 2013 I think it could survive if both parties were willing to work on the issues. I served mine early despite what she (the WW) wanted. She was stunned that I had papers drawn up before I even left, but at that point I did not trust her and I not only needed to protect myself but my parental rights as well. Serving her early was probably the "nail in the coffin" for her, but I didn't want to be her "second choice" or even worse her doormat. I hope for everyone that faces infidelity they can work it out; I could not due to the fact that she wasn't willing to own any of what happened. Get used to it folks.....the "A" was ALL your fault.....it was all my fault too.....yeah right . My STBXW wanted to wait until the new year to 're-examine' the relationship. All the while continuing the behavior. And I don't want to say that the therapist 're-enforced' the behavior, but they didn't suggest her dissuading from it, either. She was not expecting to be served divorce papers last week. So now I've been told I did it "just to do it, for shock value". Seriously ? How long did you think I was gonna put up with this ? You wanna be with Mr. Wonderful ? By all means, go ahead. Suitcases are downstairs. You wanna try to repair this ? Let's hear what you're gonna do different. And if you really want to work on it, you'll come to me to talk. I'm not gonna try and tell you to "please talk to me". I've done that enough. Divorce papers have been served. Clock's ticking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMcClaine Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Divorce papers have been served. Clock's ticking. Then let it tick. All the way down to zero. After that, move on. Your life will be a million times better in the long run. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author george roy Posted December 20, 2013 Author Share Posted December 20, 2013 (edited) Then let it tick. All the way down to zero. After that, move on. Your life will be a million times better in the long run. Trust me. I've found my lane. I have a direction now. If she wants a chance to stop the current path, she can speak up. The clock may very well tick down to zero. And I'm fine with that, too. Edited December 20, 2013 by george roy Link to post Share on other sites
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