Having sex after a breakup

[seekingpeaceinlove]

You're on a public forum airing personal info...you should be ready for all sorts of different opinions. They may be helpful or not but don't be offended as none of us really know each other.

 

Some tips on letting out that sexual energy:

 

- Obviously: Self-love (BOB is really helpful)

- Get active: I hit the gym hard when I'm especially hot n bothered. Kickboxing has been a god-send for me.

- Meditate: Try and channel that energy into meditation

- Go out with your girls and dance every once in a while.

Edited December 21, 2013 by seekingpeaceinlove

[legion113]

You're on a public forum airing personal info...you should be ready for all sorts of different opinions. They may be helpful or not but don't be offended as none of us really know each other.

 

Some tips on letting out that sexual energy:

 

- Obviously: Self-love (BOB is really helpful)

- Get active: I hit the gym hard when I'm especially hot n bothered. Kickboxing has been a god-send for me.

- Meditate: Try and channel that energy into meditation

- Go out with your girls and dance every once in a while.

 

 

 

Yep, since my break up a few weeks ago, I've did past life regression and finally met my guides thru meditation. You know what they said? Well, it's about time you had enough reason to contact us, we've been trying to reach you for years...

Yeah great, my spirit guides are wiseasses...

[im_thedude]

Four months removed from a long term relationship. If I had the opportunity to be slamming ass all around town, I definitely would take advantage.

 

Hell, I would settle for one mediocre coffee date at this point

[legion113]

Four months removed from a long term relationship. If I had the opportunity to be slamming ass all around town, I definitely would take advantage.

 

Hell, I would settle for one mediocre coffee date at this point

 

I'm with you buddy!!!!

[Chi townD]

Yes, I did sleep with a guy once before when my ex and I were broken up for 2 months. I hadn't slept with anyone for about a month and a half during the break up and then I went on a dating site, met this "well-endowed" man and slept with him.

 

It was fun, but it wasn't like my ex which in the end made me miss him more and put me back at square one. Now that I've talked about it on here and memories have resurfaced, I realized I shouldn't do that again until I'm fully healed.

 

 

 

LOL! Really? Well, I guess that the quote was true. "If we don't learn from our past, then history is doomed to repeat itself."

 

You're right there are two sides of a story and I didn't know the second side. You broke up with him because you wanted to see other people. Well, of course he's going to say the things he said because you hurt him. You pretty much said that he wasn't good enough for you and you wanted to see what else is out there. So, it doesn't surprise me that he tried to boost his male ego (which you crushed) as he was leaving.

 

Look, work with your therapist. If the last relationship you were in wasn't meant to be then it wasn't meant to be. Only you could have decided that. Not any of us. But, at least I know why he said hurtful thing that you're having a hard time getting over.

[BOREDouttaMymind]

sounds like someone was hurt in a relationship. your name reminds me of the song Bless the broken road. the song talks how people who hurt us actually lead us into the loving arms of our future lover. if you want to use a dating site to raise your confidence, go for it, but remember most guys on those sites just want a hook up regardless of the cost to your heart.

 

so..don't dig a hole with a shovel that has no shove. youll be worse off in the end. find out what makes you awesome, and find someone who will respect your awesomeness.

 

in the meantime, protect your heart, have fun, but never lower your standards.

[wwwwww]

To the OP, please don't take my comment out of context, as I do not know you so it wouldn't be right to judge you.

 

I have had several girlfriends and now entering my thirties, I try really hard to make things work. With that said it is true that men prefer looks before brains because we can see far better than we think. But there comes a time when substance and depth are vital attributes.

 

If I find out one of my exes views sex as just sex, and just finds a quick random hookup afterwards. It makes me feel sick, but when the dust settles I am glad I am free to have dodged that bullet. Again I try not to judge people, but don't be that girl.

 

Sleeping with other guys afterwards is just disgusting. You're not going to get even, instead be above with your dignity. Your ex was an immature ******* who said those things to you because he's cheap and he knew it would stick. Don't go down to his level. Rich guys are always getting laid, just take solace knowing that a pair of AA batteries is much more preferred than herpes. Keep your head clear kid.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

To the OP, please don't take my comment out of context, as I do not know you so it wouldn't be right to judge you.

 

I have had several girlfriends and now entering my thirties, I try really hard to make things work. With that said it is true that men prefer looks before brains because we can see far better than we think. But there comes a time when substance and depth are vital attributes.

 

If I find out one of my exes views sex as just sex, and just finds a quick random hookup afterwards. It makes me feel sick, but when the dust settles I am glad I am free to have dodged that bullet. Again I try not to judge people, but don't be that girl.

 

Sleeping with other guys afterwards is just disgusting. You're not going to get even, instead be above with your dignity. Your ex was an immature ******* who said those things to you because he's cheap and he knew it would stick. Don't go down to his level. Rich guys are always getting laid, just take solace knowing that a pair of AA batteries is much more preferred than herpes. Keep your head clear kid.

 

Very much quoted for truth

[miguelcervantes]

By one more ride on the carousel I mean you will make another set of mistakes (sleeping with well endowed men that you do not have any emotional connection with) just as you made before during your 2 month separation. After that I am hoping you will focus on yourself and repairing yourself, finding out what you are really looking for and find the right person to be with. Who knows it might even be your ex reformed although I doubt it at the moment. Good luck.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Chi, I suggested that we see other people because he was the one to break up with me and say that he wasn't in love with me. But then we had sex and I told him that it was a mistake and it can't happen again, and that we should see other people so we can move on. If he was angry then he shouldn't have broken up with me. He shouldn't have said he is gonna find a tight pussy. that's not right!

 

and Boredouttamymind, I deleted my dating site last night. I thought about it and I realized "what if my ex is on there and I see him!!!" I would be SOO hurt. I also deleted my Facebook. and you are right about all those guys just wanting sex. GAG. right now I need to heal and I know I'm not interested in any other men. i still love him..

 

wwwwwwww, thanks for that. I am NOT that type of girl. I had a weak moment of hurt that almost made me that type of girl. In fact what you just said is exactly how I feel about my ex when he said, "I'm gonna find a girl with a tight pussy". It made me sick, but in the end I know I dodged a bullet. I don't want to be with a guy like that. But I must ask you, WHY IS IT OKAY FOR MEN TO DO THAT? and then women are seen as totaally different if we go out and hookup?

Edited December 21, 2013 by BlessYourCottonSocks

[KatZee]

I know I dodged a bullet. I don't want to be with a guy like that.

 

How many times have you said this now? And you've gone back countless times. When are you actually going to believe the words you say?

[wwwwww]

Chi,

 

wwwwwwww, thanks for that. I am NOT that type of girl. I had a weak moment of hurt that almost made me that type of girl. In fact what you just said is exactly how I feel about my ex when he said, "I'm gonna find a girl with a tight pussy". It made me sick, but in the end I know I dodged a bullet. I don't want to be with a guy like that. But I must ask you, WHY IS IT OKAY FOR MEN TO DO THAT? and then women are seen as totaally different if we go out and hookup?

 

 

I don't know what happened in your last relationship. But your ex who sounds like an idiot, is probably hurting too. When he realized that it was the end, he wanted to take some cheap shots and try to hurt your feelings because he probably wanted to get on an even level of hurt that he was on. He just did it in a childish way. This is exactly what separates men from boys.

 

And more than likely he's not out there hooking up. He's in the thick of a breakup too. Telling you that he's getting tighter clam is such an easy misogynistic rock to throw at you. I guarantee he's going to be that guy in the bar, or party holding a red cup standing in the back because he's hurting inside and he's going to stick out like he's got a big f*cking neon sign over his head and women will sense that.

 

I am in the thick of a breakup as well, but my ex is like your ex. I would say take your time, take a breath, and let the air clear.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

How many times have you said this now? And you've gone back countless times. When are you actually going to believe the words you say?

 

Hi Katzee,

 

I've said it enough, haven't I!!?

 

But I'm learning to believe the words I say, it takes practice to move on and heal from a heartbreak. I've been NC for 6 days now and haven't given in after his attempts to call/text. I do get my weak moments, but try to come here first. My emotions are up and down, but I think it's better making a fool of myself on here than it is to my ex!!

 

wwwwwww (where did you get your name anyhow lol), Thanks for that. Thank kind of cheered me up and helped me regain my power in some way. It would nice if that really were the case. but he is such a BOY.

 

I'm like your ex in the sense of what?

[Trapito]

Go out and buy a 'brator', aka 'BOB'. You don't need a man to orgasm, you don't need a man to validate your feelings.

 

Stop feeling sorry for your asshat ex:

- You didn't abandon him, he DUMPED you.

- You didn't ignore him, you choose to no longer let him yank your chain. You stood up for yourself.

- Don't make him the victim here, he was the one wanting to look for tight pussies.

 

It took me about 5 months to kiss someone else, I wasn't over my ex but I was ready to move on. I was no longer thinking about him day and night.

 

Be strong BycS, you can and will make it.

[Haydn]

I feel somewhat redundant after that post. (i mean the bits about BOB or was it William?)

 

 

Go out and buy a 'brator', aka 'BOB'. You don't need a man to orgasm, you don't need a man to validate your feelings.

 

Stop feeling sorry for your asshat ex:

- You didn't abandon him, he DUMPED you.

- You didn't ignore him, you choose to no longer let him yank your chain. You stood up for yourself.

- Don't make him the victim here, he was the one wanting to look for tight pussies.

 

It took me about 5 months to kiss someone else, I wasn't over my ex but I was ready to move on. I was no longer thinking about him day and night.

 

Be strong BycS, you can and will make it.

[Trapito]

I feel somewhat redundant after that post. (i mean the bits about BOB or was it William?)

 

Thanks. Uhm.. What's a 'William'? Does is stand for a 'Willy'? Sorry, English is not my native language. I'm from Holland.

[rosedl]

Be honest with yourself. It doesn't matter what any of us say.

 

Ask yourself:

 

Am I running into finding another relationship because I have a hard time being alone with myself?

 

Have I looked at how I got involved in a toxic relationship and done the work to ensure I will avoid repeating my pattern in the next one?

 

Am I using sex/dating/men whatever to avoid doing the harder work of getting myself together and needing outside distraction and validation to feel okay?

 

If you haven't done your emotional homework and rush out into another dating situation or soothe yourself with other men, you are setting yourself up to just keep repeating the same mistakes. It becomes groundhog day.

 

Only you now the true answers to these questions. I have a long term pattern of using relationships in a co-dependent matter. It only has been in the last few years that I have really begun to do the work on this issue and realize how deep these cycles run. It is ruling me less and less, but man, a hard fought battle.

 

I don't think it is any big deal to get some nookie on the side, but if you are at all susceptible to the these type of repeating codependent behaviors, be careful.

[KatZee]

Be honest with yourself. It doesn't matter what any of us say.

 

Ask yourself:

 

Am I running into finding another relationship because I have a hard time being alone with myself?

 

Yes

 

Have I looked at how I got involved in a toxic relationship and done the work to ensure I will avoid repeating my pattern in the next one?

No

 

Am I using sex/dating/men whatever to avoid doing the harder work of getting myself together and needing outside distraction and validation to feel okay?

 

Yes

 

If you haven't done your emotional homework and rush out into another dating situation or soothe yourself with other men, you are setting yourself up to just keep repeating the same mistakes. It becomes groundhog day.

 

Hence why this situation is still circling around the same drain 3 years later.