Is she cheating?

[riokid180]

Two days ago my gf (of two years) gets home pretty late from work, but no big deal -- she told me the morning of that she was going out with a couple of gfs. I get home that night around 7PM. She is still not home. I text her. No response. I get on the iPad and she is logged into Facebook. I start to snoop. The day before, she received an odd message from a guy that became her FB friend that same day. The message read: "hey I guess we're meeting tomorrow. Angie [their mutual friend] hasn't told me much about you." This is followed up by two "hi" messages from him within a couple of hours. My gf did not respond to any of the messages.

 

When she gets home, she looks pretty good - makeup, nice clothes, oddly well put together for a normal night hanging out with the girls supposedly watching some HBO show. I ask about her night. She says it was uneventful. She doesn't mention meeting any guy. About thirty minutes after she gets home, as we are sitting on the couch watching TV, she receives a text. She acts very suspiciously when I jokingly say "ooh who was that." (something I do all the time). Instead of laughing she pulls her phone away from my view and acts very weird. In fact, she refuses to let me see her phone. It's at this point I notice she has actually password protected it for the first time since we started dating.

 

I confront her about the Facebook messages. She said the guy is married but doesn't have many friends and that her friend (who knows him through work) thought they would be "good friends." So he just came over while her friend baked cookies and hung out with them. She says she didn't mention it to me because she knew it seemed very weird and didn't want me to get worked up over nothing. I ask if she texted him. She says absolutely not.

 

I don't believe her. I pay her phone bill so I check and confirm that she received a text from a guy around the same time as the text she refused to let me see. She also texted him back about 15 minutes later. I confirm it his him by sending him a text message, "Hey, is this Joe?" to which he responds, "Yes, who is this?" I check my gf's browser history. She viewed his FB pics around the same as the text, and she google searched him (image and text) three days earlier.

 

What's going on?

[mano]

Well she is definitely acting quite strange, n like u said that for the first time her phone is pasword protected, confront her about the fact of needin a password all of a sudden, keep a good eye on her. Confront her about it, did u say anything to her??

Lookin at her behaviour n from the things u mentioned. It seems she really is upto something.

[riokid180]

Well she is definitely acting quite strange, n like u said that for the first time her phone is pasword protected, confront her about the fact of needin a password all of a sudden, keep a good eye on her. Confront her about it, did u say anything to her??

Lookin at her behaviour n from the things u mentioned. It seems she really is upto something.

 

I did confront her. She said the new iOS required her to put in a passcode and was, a day later, willing to let me see her phone. I declined (obviously she cleansed it of whatever she was hiding.

 

When I confronted her, she said he was just introduced to her as a friend, that she omitted telling me about it because she knew it seemed very weird and didnt want me all paranoid for no reason... When I asked if they ever exchanged texts, she flat out said NO.

[ExpatInItaly]

I did confront her. She said the new iOS required her to put in a passcode and was, a day later, willing to let me see her phone. I declined (obviously she cleansed it of whatever she was hiding.

 

When I confronted her, she said he was just introduced to her as a friend, that she omitted telling me about it because she knew it seemed very weird and didnt want me all paranoid for no reason... When I asked if they ever exchanged texts, she flat out said NO.

 

You know she lied about this. Her other behaviour therefore also sounds very suspicious. I'd say she is up to something, even if she hasn't actually done anything physical. Keep your eyes and ears wide open and gather other evidence. Did you tell her you know she texted him?

[riokid180]

You know she lied about this. Her other behaviour therefore also sounds very suspicious. I'd say she is up to something, even if she hasn't actually done anything physical. Keep your eyes and ears wide open and gather other evidence. Did you tell her you know she texted him?

 

No, because then I will give away my my last source of info. I went out with a couple buddies and when I got back I saw she deleted her browser history.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, because then I will give away my my last source of info. I went out with a couple buddies and when I got back I saw she deleted her browser history.

 

Stay very alert. Keep gathering info and take what she says with a grain of salt. She's not the brightest to be texting a random guy when you pay the bill, but that's beside the point. Perhaps she doesn't realize you can also see the numbers she's contacting? Something's not right but she's probably going to go to greater lengths to hide it now.

 

How was your relationship prior to this?

[BetrayedH]

The first rule is to STOP confronting. Play stupid and happy.

 

Then you go into investigative mode. You've made this harder on yourself by revealing your sources.

 

All that said, she's lying to you about texting some other dude. How much more do you need to know?

[lolablue17]

1. You learned that your girlfriend is an excellent liar. she can lie easily the same as you eat breakfast.

 

2. When she gets caught, she admits as little as she can, according to the information she assumes you have. it is known as - trickling true.

this is very bad for you because even if she sleeps with him and she'll think you have a proof for making out, she will admit only the making out thing.

 

Tell her that you know much more then she admits (no details), and you are willing to give her only one chance to come clean.

ONE CHANCE FOR THE REAL TRUE!

 

If she continues to lie with this little thing, how can you trust her with the major thins in your relationship?

[road]

Things for you to learn.

 

 

Your gut is never wrong. She plans on banging this OM.

 

 

Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. She is hiding, denying, and lying.

 

 

This girl is planning on stepping out on you.

 

 

Dump her you have proof enough.

[mano]

Yes, act all cool n happy n go in that investigation mode n keep a good look on her texts.

U also mentioned that now she clears her browser history. U need to get some more proofs n then confront her soo that she wouldnt be able to get away with it again. N also plz stay ready for whatever will happen, be emotionally prepared.

I wonder y the hell ppl cheat like this !

[almond]

I wouldn't continue to play along. I don't think it's necessary to act all happy and start investigating. The lack of trust and proven lies are more than enough (in my opinion) to end this relationship.

 

I'd be calling it quits now, and immediately going NC.

[mutualove]

I hate lying.Doesn't even matter how small it is.I always appreciate the truth as it shows trust.She's lying to you in your face and probably taking you for a ride.If it were me I may just go my way and never even mention the reason.Why?Because it teaches her to be more careful next time and some other poor guy has to deal with the same drama.Don't make her a better lier and deceiver.If you want to maybe teach her a lesson in the future simply go your own way w/o saying anything.

[MasonJarTeaDrinker]

Stay very alert. Keep gathering info and take what she says with a grain of salt. She's not the brightest to be texting a random guy when you pay the bill, but that's beside the point. Perhaps she doesn't realize you can also see the numbers she's contacting? Something's not right but she's probably going to go to greater lengths to hide it now.

 

This is so true, you have to act like nothing happened so that you are free to investigate without her overly hiding things. So you messed up now she's probably done with this guy, at least for now.

[Space Ritual]

Well being that she is now deleting her browser history you can do one of 3 things...go into stealth mode, investigate (which takes time) and drive yourself crazy Or you can rest assured that something is afoot and end the relationship. I think you already have enough proof that you are about to be cheated on if you have not already (However i think the fact she already met this guy under less than transparent circumstances should lead you to assume that she already is).

 

Or (and this is a choice too)...you can do nothing. Which is exactly what she is hoping you do....

 

You are being lied to and she is doing a terrible job of it I might add...lol. I guess she did not quite get the memo about who is paying her texting plan?

 

The Curb. Find the closest one and start the new year by kicking her to it.

Edited December 23, 2013 by Space Ritual

[strongnrelaxed]

One of the hardest things to get your head around is when your partner has moved on. This is a very harsh feeling to experience, but it can be overcome.

 

Sometimes it is best to take the anger you feel and just walk away. No matter how hard it is, this is better for you in the long run.

 

Think of it this way - if you feel this way, it is irrelevant if she is cheating. Because either a) She is in fact cheating and it is over anyway; or b) she is not cheating and you feel this way anyway - in which case the problem is YOU and it is over anyway.

 

Jealousy never ever heals. It is like a corrosive acid that undermines everything and it will ultimately ruin your life and any children you may have.

 

Get out now and never look back. Act quickly and do not think. You will find a better fit one day soon enough.

[fixing]

Yeah, sorry to say, but i would hazard a guess that she already sexually cheated with this tosser.

Her deceitful behavour is plain obvious and she sounds like the type of person to lie and defend herself to the very end.

 

Its very tricky for you because you have no conclusive evidence. I would walk away after my own experience of being cheated on (Found her dirty secrets through her facebook)

 

Forget the unanswered questions just walk on by and dont look back.

[BeholdtheMan]

Don't even waste time investigating. She has already lied to you enough. You two aren't married. Dump her and move on

[Lonleyforever]

you should have seen what happened to me but I really had good help that got me thought everything

[Lonleyforever]

visit my blog and you can read my story and what i did to get over it quicker than i thought.

http://cheatersonsite.blog.com/

[riokid180]

Well being that she is now deleting her browser history you can do one of 3 things...go into stealth mode, investigate (which takes time) and drive yourself crazy Or you can rest assured that something is afoot and end the relationship. I think you already have enough proof that you are about to be cheated on if you have not already (However i think the fact she already met this guy under less than transparent circumstances should lead you to assume that she already is).

 

Or (and this is a choice too)...you can do nothing. Which is exactly what she is hoping you do....

 

You are being lied to and she is doing a terrible job of it I might add...lol. I guess she did not quite get the memo about who is paying her texting plan?

 

The Curb. Find the closest one and start the new year by kicking her to it.

 

If she is effectively done with the relationship, why does she lie to me, maintain these pretenses, etc...? Why hope that I will do nothing? Why not just break up with me? Wouldn't she prefer that I end it?

[riokid180]

Yeah, sorry to say, but i would hazard a guess that she already sexually cheated with this tosser.

Her deceitful behavour is plain obvious and she sounds like the type of person to lie and defend herself to the very end.

 

Its very tricky for you because you have no conclusive evidence. I would walk away after my own experience of being cheated on (Found her dirty secrets through her facebook)

 

Forget the unanswered questions just walk on by and dont look back.

 

Based on what? It seems clear that she met this guy once and only once. He is not a handsome player type guy, I have serious doubt he could get my gf to cheat on me in one 3 hour window.

[UltraTech]

Two days ago my gf (of two years) gets home pretty late from work, but no big deal -- she told me the morning of that she was going out with a couple of gfs. I get home that night around 7PM. She is still not home. I text her. No response. I get on the iPad and she is logged into Facebook. I start to snoop. The day before, she received an odd message from a guy that became her FB friend that same day. The message read: "hey I guess we're meeting tomorrow. Angie [their mutual friend] hasn't told me much about you." This is followed up by two "hi" messages from him within a couple of hours. My gf did not respond to any of the messages.

 

When she gets home, she looks pretty good - makeup, nice clothes, oddly well put together for a normal night hanging out with the girls supposedly watching some HBO show. I ask about her night. She says it was uneventful. She doesn't mention meeting any guy. About thirty minutes after she gets home, as we are sitting on the couch watching TV, she receives a text. She acts very suspiciously when I jokingly say "ooh who was that." (something I do all the time). Instead of laughing she pulls her phone away from my view and acts very weird. In fact, she refuses to let me see her phone. It's at this point I notice she has actually password protected it for the first time since we started dating.

 

I confront her about the Facebook messages. She said the guy is married but doesn't have many friends and that her friend (who knows him through work) thought they would be "good friends." So he just came over while her friend baked cookies and hung out with them. She says she didn't mention it to me because she knew it seemed very weird and didn't want me to get worked up over nothing. I ask if she texted him. She says absolutely not.

 

I don't believe her. I pay her phone bill so I check and confirm that she received a text from a guy around the same time as the text she refused to let me see. She also texted him back about 15 minutes later. I confirm it his him by sending him a text message, "Hey, is this Joe?" to which he responds, "Yes, who is this?" I check my gf's browser history. She viewed his FB pics around the same as the text, and she google searched him (image and text) three days earlier.

 

What's going on?

 

You know whats going on, she is seeing the other guy, red flags all over the place here my friend, not letting you see the phone is the final straw.

 

You are still in that stage where you are self deluding, but deep down inside, i think you know this relationship is about to finish.

 

At the very very least this woman is lying to you and thats not someone you want to be with long term.

 

You will probably hang on and hope to make it work, but that wont work.

 

Your only hope if you really want to spend your life with a woman like this is too ignore her, go out with the boys and give her minimal attention, you may find that this loss of affection from you wakes her up as to what shes missing.

 

But to be honest, thats a wasted mind game, you are plan b, this guy is plan a, as soon as she feels comfortable enough with him, she'll jump.

[Sand Man Dan]

Two days ago my gf (of two years) gets home pretty late from work, but no big deal -- she told me the morning of that she was going out with a couple of gfs. I get home that night around 7PM. She is still not home. I text her. No response. I get on the iPad and she is logged into Facebook. I start to snoop. The day before, she received an odd message from a guy that became her FB friend that same day. The message read: "hey I guess we're meeting tomorrow. Angie [their mutual friend] hasn't told me much about you." This is followed up by two "hi" messages from him within a couple of hours. My gf did not respond to any of the messages.

 

When she gets home, she looks pretty good - makeup, nice clothes, oddly well put together for a normal night hanging out with the girls supposedly watching some HBO show. I ask about her night. She says it was uneventful. She doesn't mention meeting any guy. About thirty minutes after she gets home, as we are sitting on the couch watching TV, she receives a text. She acts very suspiciously when I jokingly say "ooh who was that." (something I do all the time). Instead of laughing she pulls her phone away from my view and acts very weird. In fact, she refuses to let me see her phone. It's at this point I notice she has actually password protected it for the first time since we started dating.

 

I confront her about the Facebook messages. She said the guy is married but doesn't have many friends and that her friend (who knows him through work) thought they would be "good friends." So he just came over while her friend baked cookies and hung out with them. She says she didn't mention it to me because she knew it seemed very weird and didn't want me to get worked up over nothing. I ask if she texted him. She says absolutely not.

 

I don't believe her. I pay her phone bill so I check and confirm that she received a text from a guy around the same time as the text she refused to let me see. She also texted him back about 15 minutes later. I confirm it his him by sending him a text message, "Hey, is this Joe?" to which he responds, "Yes, who is this?" I check my gf's browser history. She viewed his FB pics around the same as the text, and she google searched him (image and text) three days earlier.

 

What's going on?

 

She deceived you about a male. Case closed. Don't try to rationalize, or ask why, or talk to her to see what she says. Cut it off now before it gets ripped off and you're left with a ragged, pouring stump.

Edited December 31, 2013 by Sand Man Dan

[riokid180]

She deceived you about a male. Case closed. Don't try to rationalize, or ask why, or talk to her to see what she says. Cut it off now before it gets ripped off and you're left with a ragged, pouring stump.

 

 

Could have been perfectly innocent though right? She was just obliging her weird friend to meet this guy and honestly thought he needed new friends?

[UltraTech]

Could have been perfectly innocent though right? She was just obliging her weird friend to meet this guy and honestly thought he needed new friends?

 

Dude....come on now.

 

Will you keep us updated?

 

Ive been there my friend and I'm telling you, the moment she lied and hid her phone, plus password locked it, that was it right there.

 

These are classic red flags we are talking.

 

Something is going on behind your back and you know it.

 

How old is she?