T-Mama Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 I was involved with a guy who already had a girlfriend. I told her about the affair (after the fact).....now my inability to gain her forgiveness for disrespecting her--no matter how much I beg, as well as my inability to gain his forgiveness for revealing the affair to her still continues to kill me softly. I don't even feel like I deserve to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Why did you feel the need to tell the girlfriend exactly? Was it a revenge thing against the guy? Did he "dump" you and end your affair? Did you have some kind of relationship with them before the affair? Unless she was a good friend of your's, it wasn't your place to inform her of her boyfriend's infidelities. Why is their forgiveness so important to you? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Originally posted by T-Mama I was involved with a guy who already had a girlfriend. I told her about the affair (after the fact).....now my inability to gain her forgiveness for disrespecting her--no matter how much I beg, as well as my inability to gain his forgiveness for revealing the affair to her still continues to kill me softly. The girlfriend in this situation is under no obligation to forgive you, so there really is no point in trying if she has already made it clear she has no intention of forgiving you. And as for the boyfriend: Why would you want forgiveness from a guy who cheated on his girlfriend in order to use you for sex? You may want to consider some counseling or therapy to deal with your emotions - particularly if you are feeling stuff like this: I don't even feel like I deserve to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Honestly, who gives a rat's ass? You've stated you're sorry, now back off and dissapear from their line of vision for a while. You can't just say "I'm SORRY PLEEEEEASE forgive me" when you screw up, as many people on here seem to think. Stop trying to patch the relationship up when it's been broken beyond repair like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 As Mr.Spock said, stay away from them for a while. Perhaps they might forgive you one day but don't hope or expect that they do. now my inability to gain her forgiveness for disrespecting her--no matter how much I beg, as well as my inability to gain his forgiveness for revealing the affair to her still continues to kill me softly. I don't even feel like I deserve to live. Do *not* share this information with them. Do not let them know how are you feeling.....if they know you feel so hurt because they didn't forgive you, they might feel guilty , or worse *forced to feel guilty*. It might even look like you are trying to send them on a guilt trip and it would drive them even more away. Forgive yourself. People make mistakes, even very big ones. You don't need their forgiveness to forgive yourself. The best thing you can do is to reconcile with yourself and do not put you in such a situation again. As LucreziaBorgia suggested, consider therapy to del with the emotions and the distress you are going through. Link to post Share on other sites
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