I'm in love with a gay guy

[sara]

I really need some advice. My ex-boyfriend from a year ago recently told me he was gay. And only about a month before he told me, I started to fall in love with him again. Even now that I know he is gay I still am in love with him. The reason is because I keep thinking well maybe he isn't. We are only sophmores in high school. He leads me on so much too. He always has his arm around me and sometimes kisses me on the cheek, but one day he gave me a very small quick little kiss on the lips Then he did it again and he said that it does nothing for him. But, later on that day he went to give me another small little kiss on the lips, only it wasn't so small. It was longer and seemed to feel like a real kiss to me. Since that day he hasn't really done anything like that though. What I want to know is: Could he just be going through a phase? He hasn't had any kind of relationship with a guy yet. An the way he came out was he was watching TV one day and saw a guy that he thought was hot. He is kinda of feminine though. And If he is gay, how do I get over him and should I tell him about my feelings? I'm afraid if I do tell him that he won't want to be as good as friends as we are now. I'm so confused!

[Sue]

I really need some advice. My ex-boyfriend from a year ago recently told me he was gay. And only about a month before he told me, I started to fall in love with him again. Even now that I know he is gay I still am in love with him. The reason is because I keep thinking well maybe he isn't. We are only sophmores in high school. He leads me on so much too. He always has his arm around me and sometimes kisses me on the cheek, but one day he gave me a very small quick little kiss on the lips Then he did it again and he said that it does nothing for him. But, later on that day he went to give me another small little kiss on the lips, only it wasn't so small. It was longer and seemed to feel like a real kiss to me. Since that day he hasn't really done anything like that though. What I want to know is: Could he just be going through a phase? He hasn't had any kind of relationship with a guy yet. An the way he came out was he was watching TV one day and saw a guy that he thought was hot. He is kinda of feminine though. And If he is gay, how do I get over him and should I tell him about my feelings? I'm afraid if I do tell him that he won't want to be as good as friends as we are now. I'm so confused!

Dear Confused,

 

I was in your very positon about two years ago. The only thing you can really do is stand by him on the decisions that he makes. He might be Bi-Sexual right now then come to the fact later on the he is gay. Judgeing from what you said in your letter you guys are young it might take him a while to figure out what he wants in life. If he is a special person in your life, then i find no reason not to tell him how you feel. It might not chnage his mind, but it might make you feel better. Let me warn you now thou that there will be times that you will be hurt by decisions he makes being you guys are so close and all. In time these feeling will pass, so please start to move on now. I know that sad to say, but it is true. I stayed friends with my friend after the fact, and boy did we have some difiicult times, but we got throu them and so will you. What help me throu this, becuase this was new for me, was that i went to the library and read up on gay people, things to that nature to try to figure out what my friend was going throu and to help him along as much as i could. It will be tough, but am sure you can do it. Kisses also don't mean anything, it really just a friendly jesture, and sometimes gay people do go for the opposit sex just to break up the motions of what they are going throu. For some its very hard to come out of the closet and for others its a piece of cake. Like i said before all you can really do is stand by him, talk to him and be his friend. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

 

Sue