Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 So I'm here tonight because I am having a massive trigger tonight. Here it is. So you all know I went on a date with the single guy. Had a great time. Since then he has taken me out on 2 more dates, again had a great time. Friday night he called me out of the blue and asked me if I want to come over to his house and watch a movie and play some pool with his teenage son and the sons girlfriend. I went and again had a great time , wound up taking the kids to look at christmas lights and watched a christmas movie and then I went home. Before the Friday night date came about, we had already made plans to go to the movies on Saturday night. Anyway, so Saturday comes and he ends up calling me around 3 in the pm and tells me that some friends were coming in from out of town and would I mind going to dinner with them instead of the movies? I said yes, that's fine, he says great, I will call you in a bit with the details, I say okay. He never called. So I found myself wondering WTH and if I should contact him or let it be. I decided that something must have came up (this is me BSing my self right here!!! ) and I just stayed home and watched a movie alone. Today, I have not heard one word from him, not a call, not a text not a anything, and I again I refuse to call or text him. Last night and today I have felt like I did when I was the OW, always waiting on a call or a text. It has for some reason brought thoughts of xmm and our A right back to the front of my mind!!! I'm not liking this and I am not happy about it at all. Opinions PLEASE! Link to post Share on other sites
heylovey22 Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 This is the worst. I know people are going to tell you to stay NC, he'll come around... but that dude just treated you like ****. If I were in your place, I'd say something. Maybe along the lines of "what happened?" but then I'd be like "at least be an adult and speak to me". We're adults, not children. If interest is lost, say it. What bugs me is you had plans and he never called, not even to cancel... I say put your foot down. You AT LEAST deserve some words. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 So I'm here tonight because I am having a massive trigger tonight. Here it is. So you all know I went on a date with the single guy. Had a great time. Since then he has taken me out on 2 more dates, again had a great time. Friday night he called me out of the blue and asked me if I want to come over to his house and watch a movie and play some pool with his teenage son and the sons girlfriend. I went and again had a great time , wound up taking the kids to look at christmas lights and watched a christmas movie and then I went home. Before the Friday night date came about, we had already made plans to go to the movies on Saturday night. Anyway, so Saturday comes and he ends up calling me around 3 in the pm and tells me that some friends were coming in from out of town and would I mind going to dinner with them instead of the movies? I said yes, that's fine, he says great, I will call you in a bit with the details, I say okay. He never called. So I found myself wondering WTH and if I should contact him or let it be. I decided that something must have came up (this is me BSing my self right here!!! ) and I just stayed home and watched a movie alone. Today, I have not heard one word from him, not a call, not a text not a anything, and I again I refuse to call or text him. Last night and today I have felt like I did when I was the OW, always waiting on a call or a text. It has for some reason brought thoughts of xmm and our A right back to the front of my mind!!! I'm not liking this and I am not happy about it at all. Opinions PLEASE! There's lots of reasons why one doesn't respond.... especially after a few days, and I'd suspect the none of the reasons are good. It's painful and inconsiderate. If one has and issue, at least communicate it so the other knows the score... even if they are on the fence. Best of luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 Yeah I agree with you, were not in freakin high school. I'm torn, I want to ask him WTH, but then again I think to my self why should I have to ask.... Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Well, whatever you do, don't contact the MM. Even this guy is better than him (because he's at least single). I'd wait a few days to see if he contacts you and what he has to say. If he never brings it up and apologizes, then dump him. If he does, then politely tell him that you don't like being treated like that, and to please don't ever do that again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 There's lots of reasons why one doesn't respond.... especially after a few days, and I'd suspect the none of the reasons are good. It's painful and inconsiderate. If one has and issue, at least communicate it so the other knows the score... even if they are on the fence. Best of luck. Thank you Old, so weigh in , do I contact him or just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Cinnimon, He has some "splaining" (Ricki Ricardo) to do, for sure! There is no excuse for that. I hope something seriously bad did not happen to him. I do think after experiencing the treatment of an MM, we will always hold our partners to a higher standard. Never accept sub-standard treatment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 Well, whatever you do, don't contact the MM. Even this guy is better than him (because he's at least single). I'd wait a few days to see if he contacts you and what he has to say. If he never brings it up and apologizes, then dump him. If he does, then politely tell him that you don't like being treated like that, and to please don't ever do that again. Popsicle, I'd rather cut off my head than contact mm, i was just saying those same type of "waiting" feelings came back. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Thank you Old, so weigh in , do I contact him or just move on. Cinnimon, Contacting him after he said nothing after a few days is a crap shoot. What good excuse could condone that? Perhaps a few hours or a day or so, but worst case, dropped his phone in the water... he could be back up in a day or so, and if your were significant in his life, he'd borrow a phone from a friend just to keep you posted. Food for thought..... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 Cinnimon, Contacting him after he said nothing after a few days is a crap shoot. What good excuse could condone that? Perhaps a few hours or a day or so, but worst case, dropped his phone in the water... he could be back up in a day or so, and if your were significant in his life, he'd borrow a phone from a friend just to keep you posted. Food for thought..... I agree. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Cinnimon, Contacting him after he said nothing after a few days is a crap shoot. What good excuse could condone that? Perhaps a few hours or a day or so, but worst case, dropped his phone in the water... he could be back up in a day or so, and if your were significant in his life, he'd borrow a phone from a friend just to keep you posted. Food for thought..... Not if he doesn't remember her number. Most these days just program the number in and that's it, no actually dialing a number (harder to remember if you don't actually dial it in, at least that's how it is with me) anymore. Anyway, maybe something happened to him, or he did lose his phone. You could text him and just be honest and up front? "Hey, hope all is okay and nothing has happened to you. Thought we had plans set up and I didn't hear back from you." At least reaching out ONE last time, you've done your bit. I hope for your sake (he seemed like a nice guy) he doesn't have someone else and that's why he didn't get in touch with you to go to dinner with the gang of friends. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
vanellope Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I have different opinion here, if i were you, I would contact him and let him explain. because everything just so right before, it must be something happened that let him cannot contact you. maybe there is some misunderstanding. for example, he lose your number or he got some problem, you should ask him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoaster Rider Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 So I'm here tonight because I am having a massive trigger tonight. Here it is. So you all know I went on a date with the single guy. Had a great time. Since then he has taken me out on 2 more dates, again had a great time. Friday night he called me out of the blue and asked me if I want to come over to his house and watch a movie and play some pool with his teenage son and the sons girlfriend. I went and again had a great time , wound up taking the kids to look at christmas lights and watched a christmas movie and then I went home. Before the Friday night date came about, we had already made plans to go to the movies on Saturday night. Anyway, so Saturday comes and he ends up calling me around 3 in the pm and tells me that some friends were coming in from out of town and would I mind going to dinner with them instead of the movies? I said yes, that's fine, he says great, I will call you in a bit with the details, I say okay. He never called. So I found myself wondering WTH and if I should contact him or let it be. I decided that something must have came up (this is me BSing my self right here!!! ) and I just stayed home and watched a movie alone. Today, I have not heard one word from him, not a call, not a text not a anything, and I again I refuse to call or text him. Last night and today I have felt like I did when I was the OW, always waiting on a call or a text. It has for some reason brought thoughts of xmm and our A right back to the front of my mind!!! I'm not liking this and I am not happy about it at all. Opinions PLEASE! You deserve some sort of explanation! I would text him, and ask what happened. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 Okay so I sent him a text : Me: Are you okay? Him:No, I started feeling sick yesterday and I'm not getting any better. (in all fairness, he did say in our last conversation that his throat felt weird) Me:Wow. I'm sorry, I hadn't heard from you and thought something might be wrong. I do remember you saying your throat felt weird. Do you need anything, soup, meds, throat spray, liquids? Him: No worries thanks. Been taking meds and sleeping. My throat and head are killing me. I might go to the doctor if not better by tomorrow. Me: Please do, the flu seems to be bad this year. If you need anything let me know. Hope you feel better soon. SO ................ I guess he was to sick to text and say hey I'm sick!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 Now I'm a little miffed. I understand he is sick BUT he couldn't have just text and said something? Like it's okay if he just leaves me hanging because he is sick. NO.NO.NO Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 Okay so I sent him a text : Me: Are you okay? Him:No, I started feeling sick yesterday and I'm not getting any better. (in all fairness, he did say in our last conversation that his throat felt weird) Me:Wow. I'm sorry, I hadn't heard from you and thought something might be wrong. I do remember you saying your throat felt weird. Do you need anything, soup, meds, throat spray, liquids? Him: No worries thanks. Been taking meds and sleeping. My throat and head are killing me. I might go to the doctor if not better by tomorrow. Me: Please do, the flu seems to be bad this year. If you need anything let me know. Hope you feel better soon. SO ................ I guess he was to sick to text and say hey I'm sick!!! What do you guys think??? Link to post Share on other sites
happy stillmore Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 He could have texted. It would have been the courteous thing to do. Maybe he was zonked it on Nyquil. Men are such babies when they are sick. (I'm generalizing.) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 It doesn't take but a minute to send a text. He had already made plans with you - sick or not. He flaked and I'm calling bull ****. You can give him the benefit of the doubt if you like but I wouldn't have reached out if I were you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
vanellope Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 i feel this situation just no make sense. I am not trying to help him saying something, but maybe he did send you a message for canceling the meeting at Saturday night but you miss it? becasue the truth here is he bring you to see his family, his house and plan to bring you to see his friends too, and all this just happened in the week, suddenly stop contact really no make any sense. so did he went meeting at Saturday night with his friends by himself? i guess it's no, but the key point here is why no contact you when the meeting canceled. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 Vanellope, good points and questions. I don't know, but I do know that after the whole A ands mm thing, I'm so not in the mood or mindset to have to play games right off the bat. UGGGGGGGGGG!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnimon Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 It doesn't take but a minute to send a text. He had already made plans with you - sick or not. He flaked and I'm calling bull ****. You can give him the benefit of the doubt if you like but I wouldn't have reached out if I were you. I know mamma, I seriously debated to text him or not, I really did, but I kept thinking well, what if something really did happen, then I thought no matter what happened a 2 second text could have cleared it up. That's what I mean about it feeling like a stupid game. Link to post Share on other sites
vanellope Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 the missing messages did happend on me two times before, so I got this thinking. but you are right, after MM things, I also feel I am tired of finding excuse for others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Let it go. He is sick and probably completely forgot to text you. Nothing before this showed you red flags, all seemed fine. File this and put it out of your head. Have faith that you two are fine, I mean you spent time with his family already, right? Whatever you do, don't bring it up again and say' why didn't you just text me you were sick and had to cancel, instead of waiting for me to text you?' From now on, let his future actions show you if he is real and true or not. Don't let this incident trigger you too much and don't let your past hurts and insecurities cloud your judgement with him. It could be too, that even though you like him, you're still not over your exMM and it's too soon? Just food for thought. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Journee Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I think this guy sounds like he is really into you. The dates you have been on sound wonderful and like he is really integrating you into his world. Having anyone meet children I think is a big step. Showing that he values you and wants to share with you the things that are important to him. Yes, I think it was rude of him not to contact you. Just to say "Hey sweet lady. I'm not really feeling great. Rain check?". That's just common courtesy. He is mere mortal ,however, and was bound to have a misstep. This is minor in the grand scheme (unless it becomes a habit. You do not deserve that). This could actually be a positive. Establishing what you both expect or would like from one another in regards to these situations. You are a cool chick. If he hasn't been smacked across the face with that fully then it's his loss. In the mean time I think this was just missed opportunity on his end to be considerate of your time. It's so easy to think the worst when things like this happen. Just don't this time. I would be feeling the same way but don't count him out yet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I probably would have texted too, just in case wires had got crossed and I'd misunderstood about who was supposed to contact who. But on getting that response, I'd delete hs number and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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