niyathi Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 It's been a month..I can't take it anymore..I miss my ex..a lot..he cheated on me and in the end blamed me that I dumped him..I dont know why am I being put through all this?! I tried everything..I'm not in contact..we ve never msged or no phone calls..I've not seen him since the day we broke up..but the thought that he is happy without me in his life kills me..I can't stay without him and he is hardly affected..I texted him once after the break up telling him to patch up..but he refused and was so rude..why did I trust him so much?? Two years I trusted him and all of a sudden he says he doesn't want me anymore cuz I'm frustrating? What the hell..how can anyone do this? Isn't he human? I gave him all the love and care and he just disowned me within seconds and never ever bothered to look back once..can someone really be so unaffected by a two year old relationship?? I'm not able to accept the fact that he is with another girl ( got to know through another friend) I can't accept that he is gone so suddenly and haven't contacted me even once..is this real?. I feel it's a dream..I loved him and I still love him..I don't see any hope that he will come back to me ever..but it's too hard for me to accept!! How do I accept that he cheated on me and that I no longer have him in my life? And to add on to the sorrow..that he has another girl and that he is much happier and successful..I just can't take it anymore..I can't stop thinking about him..wen I sleep wen I wake up or may be everytime I breathe..I'm broken! Link to post Share on other sites
BOREDouttaMymind Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 no, you can get over him, youre just not ready. stop beating yourself up over it. want him all you want. it hurts more when you try to ignore your feelings. you feel rejected and hurt and want it to stop. it will. just takes time. we've all been through it at least once, and while it sucks right now, in a few years youre literally going to be laughing at the fact that you even cared about this dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niyathi Posted December 23, 2013 Author Share Posted December 23, 2013 I do feel rejected and unimportant! He promised me stuff and behaved like the most loyal guy and suddenly wen I got to know his reality..I felt so cheated..I mean I loved him so truly nd dint lie to him a single time in two years..and he had been lying..and I was so foolish to believe him always..now I feel hurt and it's not fair that the bad person gets all the happiness and success..and I'm not able to stop thinking about all this..my heart is heavy always..will I ever be able to get over him? Link to post Share on other sites
Rue boo Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 I know how you feel... My ex recently cheated on me a few weeks ago after a toe year relationship--we had a house together. I got a MSG from the girl he was cheating on that he cheated on me with her and I was so upset. I started packing up my belongings and actually moved out bc I was so distraught. When he realized I moved out he promised he would do anything to get me back and I believed him. But within a week I walked in on him with another girl. I crushed me. It devastated me. Since... He has all the control despite the fact he cheated on me. Why? Because I want him back. I understand how broken you feel and how you wake up every morning wanting to cry when he's not beside you and even worse, knows he's with another girl. The pain is so excruciating because it boils down to rejection. It's like... How dare he be happy with her when he cheated... He should be the one hurt. But that isn't how it is unfortunately. But I promise you... Down the road he will be hurt. His level of commitment will affect him largely in life and one day I'm sure he will look back and think... I could have dealt with that better. I get the feeling of not knowing if you will ever be happy. I'm in the same situation. Christmas has helped me realized though that I need to make yawls happy. I need to do things that excite me and that don't remind me of him. As much as it doesn't feel like it now, there are more fish in the sea. If there weren't, everyone would be miserable. I have faith we will both pull through this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author niyathi Posted December 26, 2013 Author Share Posted December 26, 2013 I hope things get better..and yes, that's exactly how I feel..how can he even deserve to be happy and so carefree without me..I feel totally broken..I don't know if il ever be able to get over this situation..I just can't bear the pain he has given..and the worst part about it is that he doesn't realize that what he is doing is wrong..he feels he is doing ntg wrong..how is this justice..he does everything and finally shuts down things by telling he never did anything wrong..it's so unbelievable that I fell in love with this guy..I'm totally shattered Link to post Share on other sites
Rue boo Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 I get what you mean --- they get to go on with their merry lives.. OVER CHRISTMAS... while we are left broken. AND - he takes the other girl around at his Christmas... I feel the same way. However... something happened yesterday. I was looking in the mirror while getting ready and realized... wow! I have so much to offer someone. It's the point you realize that they hurt you SO much and can continue on literally without pain that eventually will have you understand that you DONT deserve to be treated that way. Sure... we had a beautiful relationship for the most part, but... can it even continue? Ever? I think between yesterday and today I realized... yeah I miss him, and yeah I would totally love it if he showed up at my door crying and apologizing. Truth is though... I could never take him back. I could never be intimate with him again knowing he just dropped me like a bad habit and continued on IMMEDIATELY with someone else. You will never trust him again. When you realize that... you will put yourself first. The best way to get revenge is to get happy. It hurts us inside knowing they are happy without us... eventually they will feel the same way -- but realize they lost more. Or so I hope! Link to post Share on other sites
MasonJarTeaDrinker Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Stop! he's not worth all this pain that you're going through. Look he probably fell for some other girl while you two were together, it happens and life sucks but LIFE GOES ON. It's going to be hard for a while but eventually you're gonna start feeling better and better so go out and get busy. Start something that you've always wanted to start like a hobby or start going to the gym and set up some goals and hang out with friends, before you know it he's going to be this distant memory of some ******* that hurt you and you're just going to feel sorry for him. Keep your head up, and The night is darkest just before the dawn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niyathi Posted December 27, 2013 Author Share Posted December 27, 2013 The line that the night is darkest before dawn really inspired me..and now even I have the feeling that if he can behave so carefree and hardly get affected..why Cant I? Probably it was love for me and infatuation for him..the good thing here is that now I'm single and will enjoy all the things which I couldnt do cuz of my relationship..I'm sure even if I pretend to be happy for now and put on a fake smile..eventually with time this fake smile will become real..I just hope this new year starts with some new hopes and happiness!! He is happy with the new girl in his life..I should just let go and let him be happy with his life..instead of wasting time thinking how can he betray me..I'd rather spend time doing something productive and fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Vogeltron Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) Once a cheater always a cheater. It sucks I agree. I have been through this as a male. When I think back about this girl even many years later she stills brings smiles to my face and I wish it would have worked out. But it didn't and she cheated. And the best thing you can do in that situation is take a hard stance and move on. It may be horrible. But nobody deserves to be disrespected like that. And if you ever accept someone back like that you are just setting the precedent for the next time. It may be a tough pill to swallow but it is a necessary one. You will move on and find someone else that won't do that. Just make sure you put yourself out there and don't let this cloud your judgement about how you perceive other people. In relationships or anything else. It is always the SHYSTERS that promise all kinds of things. The Bernie Madoffs of the world via relationship status. Everything in the past is what they call in accounting a "sunk cost" you can never get it back. Worrying about it is pointless because it is gone. The sooner you move on the better. Edited December 27, 2013 by Vogeltron Link to post Share on other sites
TimL Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 No cheater is worth your time, effort or emotion. What you feel now isn't love, it's just the remnants of what you felt for a person who doesn't really exist. One month isn't a very long time. I haven't met someone who got over being cheated on in less than 6. One friend admitted it took 2 years. Twice as long as the relationship. Keep living life and you will find that the pain takes care of itself, even if it is a long-haul! (Took me a long time to agree with this!) Link to post Share on other sites
Imsojdm Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Sound like he took you for granted and didn't appreciate you You deserve better Link to post Share on other sites
Author niyathi Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 I don't really miss the person cuz I've realized he doesn't value ppl and their emotions and is just too fickle minded running behind attention and popularity...but I miss the times spent with him..the memories..the good feelings we had for each other wen he had not changed..I tried hating him but it's not happening..infact I need him more wen I think about the old times..it's hard forgetting him cuz we ve been to every place around the city and wen I hang out with friends or family..it reminds me of those beautiful moments..I'm aware he longer wants me nor am I in contact with him..not at all..but its hard to believe someone can just leave a person behind to this extent..like a piece of waste..wen he found new ppl..he just left me..how can anyone be so insensitive..it's hard to accept the fact that he isn't just bothered Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Your situation is identical to mine. Im a male. You have to realise that this is NOT your fault. You cant try reasoning about what he has done to you because it is unreasonable. Start to realise that he has no morals, he is a liar and a user of people. You are better off without him. Karma will come for him down the line. He will probably fall madly in love with a woman only to be heartbroken himself. Than he will probably think back and realise how awful he treated you. But thats irrelevant. You got to keep no contact and stop looking for answers. You wont get them from him. He's a scumbag. Trust me Im 14 months BU and 12 months NC from my cheating ex. Im still not over the betrayal. I prolonged this myself because i was doing exactly what your doing now, obsessing, hoping she reached out to acknowledge how cruel she was to me, and guess what? SHE NEVER LOOKED BACK AT ME. So dont waste anymore time on this. Force him from your mind. Your the good guy and he's the bad guy. No contact and go out and force yourself to be busy. This will all pass eventually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author niyathi Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 Well..it's just been a month and I shall give myself some time..ur right..he is never gonna realise his mistake or even look back to see what he has done cuz he is just way too self obsessed..and I must learn to live without his love and care..may be the new girl and him are really in love..or may be he just wants to try dating other girls..watever the reason..he treated me badly and I guess time is gonna be the hero in my life and time is gonna heal me..that's life...cheating and love and dishonesty and all such stuff..I was in a dream world all this while..but he made me see dreams and that angers me now..wow..I wonder how can ppl change so easily without even being sensitive about other ppl in their lives.. Link to post Share on other sites
peruano99 Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Well..it's just been a month and I shall give myself some time..ur right..he is never gonna realise his mistake or even look back to see what he has done cuz he is just way too self obsessed..and I must learn to live without his love and care..may be the new girl and him are really in love..or may be he just wants to try dating other girls..watever the reason..he treated me badly and I guess time is gonna be the hero in my life and time is gonna heal me..that's life...cheating and love and dishonesty and all such stuff..I was in a dream world all this while..but he made me see dreams and that angers me now..wow..I wonder how can ppl change so easily without even being sensitive about other ppl in their lives.. I hope you can someday find a good person for you. You sound like a really wonderful woman so whoever will be with you, will be a lucky man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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