Does the "Text your ex back" -system work?

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

I've never understood pushing your ex further away.

 

A while ago I was asking my ex some questions over text and then she actually said "The more you text me and bug me about stuff the more annoyed I get. You've got to learn how to deal with it on your own. You can't keep texting me"

 

And I'm thinking in my head, who cares if you get annoyed, you already dumped me

 

If there is no chance of getting back together, why should you care if your ex hates you?

 

Self respect, reputation, self worth, preserving memories, not to be a complete creeper, etc etc etc

 

To a point, it really doesnt matter what an ex hates you or not. That part is true. However, its all about self respect. People reaching out and overtexting and connecting when the relationship is over makes you look needy, clingy, desperate, etc. The main part of it all is that it hinders any form of moving on. It's a VERY slippery slope and will push them away everytime.

 

Think about it like this. You have a friend and you really dont want to hang out with him anymore. You grew apart after however long of a friendship and you just really dont want to hang out anymore. Maybe you have a new group of friends...maybe you just dont want to be his friend anymore...whatever the reason, you just dont want him around anymore. If you told your friend its done, and he keeps on texting you and texting you and calling you and e-mailing you.....wouldnt that get annoying? It's done...over...finished WHY wont he just take the hint and move on? "I'm trying to hang out with my new friends I dont want this friend to get ahold of me anymore"

 

Same thing.

[somedude81]

Self respect, reputation, self worth, preserving memories, not to be a complete creeper, etc etc etc

 

To a point, it really doesnt matter what an ex hates you or not. That part is true. However, its all about self respect. People reaching out and overtexting and connecting when the relationship is over makes you look needy, clingy, desperate, etc.

I understand what you are trying to say, but then again, why would one care if their ex thinks you are clingy, needy or desperate?

 

If you and your ex run in the same social circle or she has the possibility to tell people that know you, then I can see how that could be an issue.

 

But yes, it really is all about self-respect and self-control.

 

The main part of it all is that it hinders any form of moving on. It's a VERY slippery slope and will push them away everytime.

Again, pushing them away is irrelevant. My ex can't get any further away from me than braking up with me.

 

Though making it harder to move on is a very important thing.

 

Also not talking to your ex when you are broken up, prevents you from saying really stupid things that you'd regret later....

Think about it like this. You have a friend and you really dont want to hang out with him anymore. You grew apart after however long of a friendship and you just really dont want to hang out anymore. Maybe you have a new group of friends...maybe you just dont want to be his friend anymore...whatever the reason, you just dont want him around anymore. If you told your friend its done, and he keeps on texting you and texting you and calling you and e-mailing you.....wouldnt that get annoying? It's done...over...finished WHY wont he just take the hint and move on? "I'm trying to hang out with my new friends I dont want this friend to get ahold of me anymore"

 

Same thing.

I'd eventually tell the fool to leave me alone and then block him. If he actually tries to meet me in person then he has some serous issues.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

I understand what you are trying to say, but then again, why would one care if their ex thinks you are clingy, needy or desperate?

 

Again, in the overall scheme of things, it really shouldn't matter what the ex thinks of you if you want to take that route. If you REALLY just want to be done with them with no chance EVER of reconciliation ever and a burning of all bridges with them and your own self image....I guess balls to the wall? It just seems like much wasted time when the energy can be spent on several different other places rather than chasing an unattainable goal. Then again, there are people in this world that chase treasures. I'm looking at you Nicolas Cage!!!

 

 

I'd eventually tell the fool to leave me alone and then block him. If he actually tries to meet me in person then he has some serous issues

 

Lol yes exactly and that is how it is with ex's. The more you push, the farther they go.

Edited January 6, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing

[Never Again]

I understand what you are trying to say, but then again, why would one care if their ex thinks you are clingy, needy or desperate?

 

Question at hand: If you didn't care what they thought of you, why bother talking to them?

 

Real Answer: It's what YOU think of you that matters. Reaching out to an ex constantly is seeking validation from someone who rejected you. Pushing them further away causes more self doubt, lowers self-esteem and delays healing. It's rare to not care what your ex thinks - sometimes you care because you want them to suffer as well, sometimes you care because you want answers, and sometimes you care because you just care.

 

Anyone truly indifferent would avoid contact because it's a waste of time.

 

As for the "Text you're ex back" crap...Fiore's a loon. His guide says the same thing every guide says - realize the old relationship is dead and go NC for at least a month to heal, change up you're style and date to gain confidence and "improve", hope your ex breaks NC to start conversation...or break NC yourself in a noncommittal way, start reminiscing about the good ol' days and flirt a bit, have a super short "date" that you end first, and then pummel them with excitement to confuse them with the bridge effect. It's transparent and nothing really changes in a month.

[organizedchaos]

I've never understood pushing your ex further away.

 

A while ago I was asking my ex some questions over text and then she actually said "The more you text me and bug me about stuff the more annoyed I get. You've got to learn how to deal with it on your own. You can't keep texting me"

 

And I'm thinking in my head, who cares if you get annoyed, you already dumped me

 

If there is no chance of getting back together, why should you care if your ex hates you?

 

Did you ever stop to think that maybe if you just leave them alone that they might quite possibly come to realize they made a mistake? That they might look back fondly on the relationship and want to reach out? But by annoying them you just make all that go away?

 

Of course you haven't.

[Haydn]

I have never understood how anyone can believe that there is a way to get your ex by paying some person to tell you how to manipulate them? People are not stupid. My ex has sent me hand written letters telling me how much she got from me etc.. etc...All very nice but she never kicked down my door and begged for me to come back. Only that would make me think. (But not for very long)

[somedude81]

Did you ever stop to think that maybe if you just leave them alone that they might quite possibly come to realize they made a mistake? That they might look back fondly on the relationship and want to reach out? But by annoying them you just make all that go away?

 

Of course you haven't.

Everybody I talked to, and everybody who has replied to my posts on this forum has said that it's over and that there is no chance she'd come back.

 

So no, I never believed that she'd realize she made a mistake and want to reach out.

 

I don't want to get called for doing a thread jack, so if you want to reply to me, please do it here

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/447017-just-been-dumped-my-very-first-girlfriend-12.html

Edited January 6, 2014 by somedude81