Haven't had a serious relationship yet at age 21?

[amyO]

**Posted this in another "topic" as well. Wasn't exactly sure where to post this.

 

I wanted to start off and say I unfortunately haven't had the best of luck with dating. Although I have not had a "serious" relationship, I've been "together" with a few guys over the last couple of years. I never dated anyone in high school, so going away to college was my first time really being with a guy. Two guys I had been with lasted for only at most 4 months each. Nothing dramatic really happened, it just for one reason or another didn't work out as I had hoped.

 

Then about two years ago I dated a really amazing guy. He had been my best friend before we became even closer. I ended up losing my virginity to him and really started to fall in love with him. Unfortunately, I had a lot of horrible things going on at home and I ended up leaving school and the guy behind. We kind of had more of this long distant, emotional and extremely confusing type of relationship. When we did see each other, it was every 4-5 months and only for a day. No sex was involved, but we were always very intrigued with one another.

 

Now after almost a year of us being completely done, I 'm thinking to myself that I feel somewhat pathetic for never really having a "real" type of relationship yet. I feel like I'm not that sexually experienced and also not experienced all that much with dating and having a boyfriend. I know my life hasn't been all that perfect and it's not as though I have never been with a guy, I guess I'm just fearful I will never be with another guy or at least find a guy to be in a lasting relationship with. I'm also terrified since I'm not that experienced with sex, that a guy wouldn't want me.

 

I'm also sometimes ashamed I haven't had a serious relationship yet. I'm told all the time that I'm extremely beautiful and how it's shocking i'm not with someone. I feel as though I'm being judged harshly and it gives me a lot of anxiety. I'm approached by guys all the time, but I value myself and would love to really find a great guy. I'm also very shy, so it's rare for me to find someone I feel extremely comfortable with. The last guy I was somewhat "serious" with, was the last person who I felt my complete self around. I'm searching for that again.

 

I'm re-reading all of this over and I understand how pathetic I sound, but It's honestly how I feel. Am I over analyzing all of this? Am I completely normal?

 

Thanks for any and all advice Xoxo

[d0nnivain]

When you are young in high school & college I think 4-5 month relationships are "real" relationships. I didn't have multi year relationship until I was 22, almost 23. That doesn't invalidate the shorter encounters I had previously.

 

 

Very few people meet & marry their high school or college sweethearts.

[Bigcitydreamer]

21 is extremely young yet. I know a couple of people who didn't have relationships until 25+ and they are all attractive people. Don't get hung up on this too much because it is completely normal. It only takes that one person to get a long term relationship under your belt.

[Poppyolive]

I wouldn't worry, 21 is super young to be getting all involved in a serious relationship. You need to travel, get some more life experience, have fun, date casually, there is plenty of time to build a relationship with someone new. Dance your face off, have fun, it will happen.

[reddragon588]

I did not date anyone in high school as well, and in college just briefly dated a few girls. My first real relationship wasn't until I was 22, a three year relationship that just ended earlier this year. It is not out of the normal at all.