Vicente Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 its almost Christmas, i've been thinking about contacting my ex gf to wish her Merry Christmas. its been weeks since we've spoken, and i had some harsh words for her about leaving me. it was the heat of the moment and i regretted it. she said, that its not fair to pour my sadness and anger on her, because it will ruin any type of future with us. she told me being in contact with me is always negative and to leave her alone. so i did. she thinks i hate her but the truth is i still love her and want her back. she has this negative image of me and i want to show her i'm no longer angry. thinking about saying "regardless of what happened between us, i just want to wish you a merry christmas." Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 No. Bad idea. Read some of the other threads on this very same topic. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 No. Just no. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Why would you do such a thing? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 its almost Christmas, i've been thinking about contacting my ex gf to wish her Merry Christmas. its been weeks since we've spoken, and i had some harsh words for her about leaving me. it was the heat of the moment and i regretted it. she said, that its not fair to pour my sadness and anger on her, because it will ruin any type of future with us. she told me being in contact with me is always negative and to leave her alone. so i did. she thinks i hate her but the truth is i still love her and want her back. she has this negative image of me and i want to show her i'm no longer angry. thinking about saying "regardless of what happened between us, i just want to wish you a merry christmas." Look I love my ex to death, I would give an arm and a leg for her, but she dosn't give a s*it about me, even If I die right now she wouldn't care. That is why I don't give her a text for Christmas or NYE. She wants space dude, MAN THE F*c* UP ! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 Why would you do such a thing? because i still have feelings for her and i want to apologize for what i said to her. Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 because i still have feelings for her and i want to apologize for what i said to her. She doesn't want you, she doesn't love you. Don't do this to yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 because i still have feelings for her and i want to apologize for what i said to her. It will fall on deaf ears. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 because i still have feelings for her and i want to apologize for what i said to her. Stop being a doormat Vincente, that's unattractive. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 because i still have feelings for her and i want to apologize for what i said to her. *sigh...apologize? She broke up with you didn't she? Did she apologize for hurting your feeling and breaking your heart? No...she didn't. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 OP, Your ex views you as a negative influence in her life. It would be unfair and frankly, selfish of you to contact her when she's expressed that you should not. If you really love her, then you'd leave her alone to let herself heal and move on w/o being reminded of a darker time in her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 *sigh...apologize? She broke up with you didn't she? Did she apologize for hurting your feeling and breaking your heart? No...she didn't. As a matter of fact she did, said "please forgive me for leaving you. i'm sorry you're in pain, but its no easy for me to do this. i no longer can put effort into this relationship. i'm sorry and thank you for everything Vic." when she was trying to be civil i lashed out because i was emotional. Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 As a matter of fact she did, said "please forgive me for leaving you. i'm sorry you're in pain, but its no easy for me to do this. i no longer can put effort into this relationship. i'm sorry and thank you for everything Vic." when she was trying to be civil i lashed out because i was emotional. Well, that is more then most of us will ever get. Vicente don't make excuses to contact her and speak with her. Of course you lashed out because you were hurt and you didn't feel like you deserved it. In the end man, best thing to do is just avoid her completely and respect her space. She has built up memories of you with her and those will never fade, and unfortunately they aren't positive memories anymore. By being a doormat and available, you only push her further away. If she ever wants to speak to you again, she will. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ponchsox Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 You're using this as an excuse to get back with her. She no longer wants to be with you. Find someone who DOES want to be with you and you can wish a Merry Christmas to them. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 As a matter of fact she did, said "please forgive me for leaving you. i'm sorry you're in pain, but its no easy for me to do this. i no longer can put effort into this relationship. i'm sorry and thank you for everything Vic." when she was trying to be civil i lashed out because i was emotional. And she ended it why? Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Yeah go ahead and wish her a Merry Xmas..........and then spend the rest of the day frantically checking your phone for a response. What if you don't get one? What if it just says "thanks"? What if it says "f*ck you, leave me alone"? For gods sake! People are constantly trying to use birthdays & holidays as excuses to get in touch with exes WHO DUMPED THEM. Your ex dumped you, hurt YOU, it's not ON YOU to extend the olive branch. Don't be a chump. If someone isn't contacting you it's cause they don't wanna talk to you. She left you! Are you gonna also text a former boss who may have fired you? A former friend who cut things off? Previous exes who dumped you and don't talk to you? 15 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 i'm living with all this regret. every time i contacted her i was stupid. it only made things worst. she was trying to make this as smooth as possible, and be kind. there i was accusing her for the breakup, playing the victim. she told me to leave her alone because i was bashing her, and i just want to apologize for all the stupid stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 She thinks you hate her because she dumped you and you (understandably) got emotional and lashed out. That's normal and to be expected when you dump someone. But that doesn't mean you're obligated to apologize. She made it clear that she didn't want to be with you anymore. Why would you want to turn around and wish her a Merry Christmas? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Yeah go ahead and wish her a Merry Xmas..........and then spend the rest of the day frantically checking your phone for a response. What if you don't get one? What if it just says "thanks"? What if it says "f*ck you, leave me alone"? For gods sake! People are constantly trying to use birthdays & holidays as excuses to get in touch with exes WHO DUMPED THEM. Your ex dumped you, hurt YOU, it's not ON YOU to extend the olive branch. Don't be a chump. If someone isn't contacting you it's cause they don't wanna talk to you. She left you! Are you gonna also text a former boss who may have fired you? A former friend who cut things off? Previous exes who dumped you and don't talk to you? Listen to Veggirl OP, if you won't listen to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 Yeah go ahead and wish her a Merry Xmas..........and then spend the rest of the day frantically checking your phone for a response. What if you don't get one? What if it just says "thanks"? What if it says "f*ck you, leave me alone"? For gods sake! People are constantly trying to use birthdays & holidays as excuses to get in touch with exes WHO DUMPED THEM. Your ex dumped you, hurt YOU, it's not ON YOU to extend the olive branch. Don't be a chump. If someone isn't contacting you it's cause they don't wanna talk to you. She left you! Are you gonna also text a former boss who may have fired you? A former friend who cut things off? Previous exes who dumped you and don't talk to you? but what if she wished me happy thanksgiving and birthday? she dumped me and she got in touch to say that. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 but what if she wished me happy thanksgiving and birthday? she dumped me and she got in touch to say that. Ignore her for now. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 but what if she wished me happy thanksgiving and birthday? she dumped me and she got in touch to say that. Guess what? My ex did the same thing. I responded and he started telling me about all the girls he had been dating since he dumped me. I'm not saying you're ex is dating other guys now. I have no idea if she is or not. But my point is - - when you respond to those gestures of goodwill, all your doing is easing her conscience, while you're clearly still very much in pain. Granted it's your pain. But you need to sit with it right now. Reaching out to her is only going to make you feel worse, not better. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 24, 2013 Author Share Posted December 24, 2013 Guess what? My ex did the same thing. I responded and he started telling me about all the girls he had been dating since he dumped me. I'm not saying you're ex is dating other guys now. I have no idea if she is or not. But my point is - - when you respond to those gestures of goodwill, all your doing is easing her conscience, while you're clearly still very much in pain. Granted it's your pain. But you need to sit with it right now. Reaching out to her is only going to make you feel worse, not better. well, if i do text her and don't get a response, it won't bother me because maybe i deserve it after what i said...believe me it was hurtful, and she was crying when she said "leave me alone." i was an *******, and i feel terrible for saying that. i've never seen her cry like that. Link to post Share on other sites
TylerDurdenn Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 but what if she wished me happy thanksgiving and birthday? she dumped me and she got in touch to say that. Just wish her a good christmas, we ain't gonna change your mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Just wish her a good christmas, we ain't gonna change your mind. Vincente that's what you wanted to hear, post here after you tex her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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