ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 well i've come here for input, not permission. i've dealt with her for years, & i'm sure i know what will happen. you always go with your gut feeling. if she doesn't respond, then so be it, at least i tried. i'll know she's gone for good. If I had a nickle for everytime I heard THAT phrase on here. She is already gone for good when you guys broke up. You dont seem to understand this even when 100 people are telling you this. Its done. Over. IF THERE IS ANY CHANCE OF RECONCILIATION (which is rare) its when BOTH parties have moved on from the previous relationship. Incredibly clear that you arent even near that stage, so you KNOW she isnt anywhere near that either. If you text her, you are killing ANY chance of getting back together with her ever. So the .001 percent turns into 0 All of these justifications of you standing up for her saying "well, she did care" is just awful at this point. She is giving you classic "lets put all of the blame on you so I feel ok with everything" talk. Ive heard what your girl said 100000 times. "I would have given you another chance but you did xxxxxxxx" is right out of page 1. You arent listening to a damn word any of us are saying, and you probably stopped reading, so I ate some awesome Christmas turkey a day early today with some mashed potatoes and gravy. Man was it good...topped it all off with some brews and had a swell time with family. It was nice to..... of s*** got off track.... Good luck to you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 well if all of you guys are doubting me and hoping for the worst...i mean, if you guys think theres a point of no return already what do i really have to lose? if you guys think i have a chance i should just keep quiet?? Link to post Share on other sites
movingonnow1 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I'm sorry but what she said there is bs. She has built up for months reasons justifying the breakup. Her interest level is so low and past the point of return. Once it reaches a low enough level for her to leave you, there is almost no chance of you building it back up. If there is a "slight" chance of her having some interest in you, you have to not contact her and resist the urge to contact. If you contact her you will significantly increase the probability of losing her completely (if you haven't already). No matter what you say or do, you will appear weak and this will turn her off. She made a request, so show you are strong enough and have enough self control to listen to her wishes. You sound like you are in denial (I was too after my breakup), everyone here has told you how it is and how it will end up. It is your decision in the end but a lot of us have gone through this and know the outcome. 100% dead on...you saved me time typing this all put lol thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 well if all of you guys are doubting me and hoping for the worst...i mean, if you guys think theres a point of no return already what do i really have to lose? if you guys think i have a chance i should just keep quiet?? What do you have to lose if you contact her? - any chance of getting back together because you will appear weak and needy - any chance of her respecting you - you will appear like you have no self respect - she will be so turned off because you are always there - she will think you only think about yourself and don't care about her feelings and opinion - you won't move in and will be more hung up because you are surrendering any control you have in the situation Do I need to continue my list or do you get the point? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 well if all of you guys are doubting me and hoping for the worst...i mean, if you guys think theres a point of no return already what do i really have to lose? if you guys think i have a chance i should just keep quiet?? -Bangs head against the wall- Dude, you are hearing this but you are not listening. The relationship you had? Its done. Over. Gone. It sucks yes (that's why this site is here) but its done. If you HONESTLY really care about her like you say you do, THEN STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF AND LET HER BE! You know that saying "If you love something set it free?" Thats NOW. She wants to be left alone so DO IT. If somewhere down the road MAYBE (and this is a huge maybe) her feelings change, she WILL get ahold of you I assure you. You cannot sit around and just wait around for that day because there is a GREAT chance it never happens. THIS is why a large majority of us say do not contact them and live life!!! No one is doubting you, we just know this mistake has been made by NUMEROUS men and women before you and sadly, after you. I've been on here for about a year (a little longer just never posted) and I honestly see this story probably five times a week and thats being generous. I'll put it like this: You text her whatever, it will hurt any chance (like Lauri said above me) You leave her alone: Better chance Get it? Good now go enjoy the holidays and stop worrying about this ya crazy kid 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 you know why i'm fighting you guys on this... last month i told her not to talk to me anymore and was pretty upset with her. a couple of days later she says "wish your mom a happy bday." then on thanksgiving she wishes me again and we're cool. after that i told her off about something and she said to leave her alone.. its like the tables have turned and i'm thinking we've both cooled off. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 you know why i'm fighting you guys on this... last month i told her not to talk to me anymore and was pretty upset with her. a couple of days later she says "wish your mom a happy bday." then on thanksgiving she wishes me again and we're cool. after that i told her off about something and she said to leave her alone.. its like the tables have turned and i'm thinking we've both cooled off. Get ready for this because you wont like IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE!!!! The past does not matter. Nothing of it matters. What she said-Doesnt matter What you said-Doesnt matter It honestly doesn't matter. Here are the facts: If she wanted to be with you, she would. She isn't so...you get what I'm saying. People can talk all they want to and make 900 promises and swears and binding agreements....but its ACTIONS that speak man. This isnt a battle between you and the rest of us for Santa sake.....we are here to HELP because we've been there. All of us. You are swimming in the middle of the ocean in la-la land, while were chillin beachside. We've seen this same story numerous times. Its played out and we know the ending. Listen to what we're telling you and take off your battle gear. What our friend above said makes SOOOO much sense. Lets play that back: But I feel that you haven't accepted responsibility for your part in the relationship breakdown, nor changed in the way you need to, as evidenced by your "you better be right, i'm trusting you all" - thus attempting to shift blame to us instead of yourself for any fallout. I believe that you have not truly accepted your part in this. If you had, you would not be thinking about yourself, you'd be thinking about her. If you love someone, you let them go, and let them come back to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 (edited) Meh..just go ahead and contact her if you want. Youll just learn the hard way. Some times we need that. At this point dont just do a merry christmas. Call her up, wish her a Merry Christmas, appologize for everthing and say you love her more than anything and you want back. Why beat around the.bush? Im almost 100 percent certain this will not work and she is decided and youll set yourself back but so be it. Some of need to get beaten down even further to give up hope and go NC. Ive already learned my lesson on what to do if i ever get dumped again to maintain my dignity and accelerate healing. This will be your lesson I guess. The only thing that you really have to loose is some self respect and the time youve been healing. But that can be recovered in time. We are just trying to impart our wisdom on the topic. Good luck bro. Cav Edited December 25, 2013 by cavalier99 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Meh..just go ahead and contact her if you want. Youll just learn the hard way. Some times we need that. At this point dont just do a merry christmas. Call her up, wish her a Merry Christmas, appologize for everthing and say love her more than anything and you want back. Why beat around the.bush? Im almost 100 percent certain this will not work and she is decided and youll set yourself back but so be it. Some of need to get beaten down even further to give up hope and go NC. Ive already learned my lesson on what to do if i ever get dumped again to maintain my dignity and accelerate healing. This will be your lesson I guess. The only thing that you really have to loose is some self respect and the time youve been healing. But that can be recovered in time. We are just trying to impart our wisdom on the topic. Good luck bro. Cav I'm going to bold the parts on Cav's post that are important because I feel he is going to swing and miss big time on the message and all is going to hear is "Contact her" haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 I'll do it, if I get blown off I get blown off. with my past I've gone NC with 3 other girls, hoping they would come back. time passed they moved on and 2 girls said it was too late, because I never talked to them to make things right. I regretted it. I just don't want to make the same mistake, I have the chance for redemption. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I'll do it, if I get blown off I get blown off. with my past I've gone NC with 3 other girls, hoping they would come back. time passed they moved on and 2 girls said it was too late, because I never talked to them to make things right. I regretted it. I just don't want to make the same mistake, I have the chance for redemption. I dont give people a hard time on here, but dont say we didnt warn you. I'll keep tabs on this to see what comes from this. Good luck The bold makes me cringe. You need to date better women lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 I dont give people a hard time on here, but dont say we didnt warn you. I'll keep tabs on this to see what comes from this. Good luck The bold makes me cringe. You need to date better women lol thanks. I know you're only trying to help but this is something I need to do. I'm prepared for the worst but hoping for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 Wish me luck. I'll update you tomorrow night.http://youtu.be/yN4Uu0OlmTg Link to post Share on other sites
sportzhl24 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Wish me luck. I'll update you tomorrow night. God dude, Vicente, just don't do it. How in the hell can you take 7 pages of advice and just ignore this. You dumbass. Trust me bro, I've been through this situation before. Don't contact her. It's over. Forever. For as long as you live. You need to accept that into your heart. Last July I lost my first love. She dumped me. I agreed to the breakup, kind of. Then I asked for her back. Pleaded. Told her I was in so much pain. And she didn't even respond. I know thats different from your exact situation but dude trust me, when somebody makes up their mind that they dont want you in their life, then its final. Think about this in terms of your own life. What friends have you excluded? What girls have you excluded? Quit being difficult and accept the advice you are being given. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 God dude, Vicente, just don't do it. How in the hell can you take 7 pages of advice and just ignore this. You dumbass. Trust me bro, I've been through this situation before. Don't contact her. It's over. Forever. For as long as you live. You need to accept that into your heart. Last July I lost my first love. She dumped me. I agreed to the breakup, kind of. Then I asked for her back. Pleaded. Told her I was in so much pain. And she didn't even respond. I know thats different from your exact situation but dude trust me, when somebody makes up their mind that they dont want you in their life, then its final. Think about this in terms of your own life. What friends have you excluded? What girls have you excluded? Quit being difficult and accept the advice you are being given. While I agree, he wasnt going to stop until he got the answer he wanted. All we can do is let him do his thing and go from there. Frustrating yes, but Ive seen much worse. This thread can probably be locked at this point 3 Link to post Share on other sites
treezy Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
sportzhl24 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 So................whats the update vincente? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 What is it with guys who's screen name start with V??? Poor guy. This is going to leave a mark 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zoe Lilith Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 What is it with guys who's screen name start with V??? Poor guy. This is going to leave a mark Definitely....Well, we tried 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 So................whats the update vincente? Yeah, where is Vinsanity? Vincent isn't the same person, is he? Link to post Share on other sites
chris21422 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 wonder what happen to him lol.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vicente Posted December 25, 2013 Author Share Posted December 25, 2013 no update. i'm going to do it in the evening. i'm not pouring out my heart or apologizing, just wishing her a merry x-mas. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 no update. i'm going to do it in the evening. i'm not pouring out my heart or apologizing, just wishing her a merry x-mas. Then what's the f***ing point? !?! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zoe Lilith Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Then what's the f***ing point? !?! ...hope!! Which is a good thing, but not in this case because it's a "false hope", more like a denial! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zoe Lilith Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Don't contact her! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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