with or without an attorney?

[awholenewworld]

If i file on my own and try to represent myself, can i hire an attorney if things get messy later on into the process?

 

We were trying to do it where we agree on all terms then file, then he became disagreeable once the papers were notarized.

 

Weve been seperated for a year but he comes in town whenever he wants to. No warning. It makes my life a living hell.

 

The thing is our house. It has no value on the market today, bit stbxh wants to maintain ownership. I want the house and child support and to cut all ties.

 

Hes self employed and shows little to no income. I could be endanger of alimony. He actually makes like 600 or so per week. But thats mostly cash.

 

Hes pretty much a bastard. Nasty to me and the kids and old fashioned.

 

Ill hire an attorney but im so frustrated right now and theyre all on vacation. I feel like i can get a new ser of papers from the clerks office fill them out and file them before.the new.year.

[RightThere]

If you disagree on the house, his income levels and alimony, you probably need a lawyer.

[awholenewworld]

I guess i knew that all along. Just trying to save the expense i guess. After 20 years i just thought it may be possible.

 

I just want to be done so badly.

[CarrieT]

I guess i knew that all along. Just trying to save the expense i guess. After 20 years i just thought it may be possible.

The expense will be in all those things you AREN'T considering that you pay a lawyer for…

 

Trust me - it will cost you more in the long-run if you don't get a lawyer.

[oldshirt]

The only time to even remotely not having a lawyer is if both people are completely in agreement on 100% of everything and are backing it up with actions and signed documentation.

 

You don't have that here.

[TheBladeRunner]

Not sure what the real situation is OP, regardless, get an attorney. Mine started as an amiable divorce and it stayed that way, but I wanted to be prepared in the end just in case. In the long run a lawyer could save you a ton of money and help you navigate all the legal mumbo-jumbo. Protect yourself.

 

My attorney actually helped me keep my cool and not get vindictive; it was worth the $3,000.00. In the end this probably could have been done between me and princess, but the money I spent was nothing compared to that "ahhhhh" feeling of being protected not to mention the time it saved with my lawyer doing all the paperwork.

Edited December 24, 2013 by TheBladeRunner
Adding

[RonaldS]

In contrast to the above post, my total expenditure on my divorce was the $40 in gas I used to get to the court for the finalization.

 

I'm not going to advise one way or another, but I do want to point out that it can be done w/o an attorney and without spending a ton of $$$.

[TheBladeRunner]

In contrast to the above post, my total expenditure on my divorce was the $40 in gas I used to get to the court for the finalization.

 

I'm not going to advise one way or another, but I do want to point out that it can be done w/o an attorney and without spending a ton of $$$.

 

Oh whatever Ron.....go ahead and rub it in . I bet I could have done the same thing you did, but the betrayal on the XW's behalf was SO bad I didn't want to leave anything to chance. I have a few friends that had the same situation as yours, and I have a few others where the only people REALLY making out was the lawyers.......I get it.

[awholenewworld]

My situation is that I don't ever want to see him again. I can't stand him. He causes trouble and loves a problem. He ruined Christmas AGAIN for us by looking for a problem.

 

I don't want him to come into where ever it is that I live and say that "it's his house too." I worked my butt off to get our mortgage down to where it is a manageable payment. Unfortunately, if we sold our house, we would be upside down. Rent is double what our mortgage payment is. He works 300 miles away and has for a year as an independent contractor. I won't be able to afford rent and the expenses of 3 children too. He wants to pretend that he can't afford child support (he didn't even contribute to Christmas), but he bought himself an i-pad, so he's full of it.

 

What I want:

The house free and clear

the kids (3 of them)

and 900/month child support (300 per kid).

 

Even though he has been ABUSIVE to his kids, I am willing to allow him to have them, at least on paper. I WONT force anyone to go anywhere. He's lucky I don't have an injunction against him!!

 

The way I see it is that because of the abuse, I should have 100% custody and he gets supervised visitation. He still needs to pay child support, but with his contractor job, it will be hard to prove income and there are no "wages" to garnish. He is LUCKY that I even consider that he can see the kids over every other weekend and 1/2 summer etc. VERY LUCKY!

 

 

I'm sure if I did it WITHOUT an attorney, the worst thing would be that he pays very little child support and I still get the house because it's upside down, it's where the kids go to school, and where I work.

 

The best case scenario would be that the judge is smart and knows that he must make more money than he claims as a contractor and base his wage on the average for the area and make him pay MORE than the 900. I still will be the house.

 

I'll probably get a lawyer because I am so tired of the paper work. really tired.

[carhill]

If the house has no equity and you're both on the mortgage/DOT, you'll probably need legal help to unwind the house, simply because with his low income, he likely won't qualify in today's loan market to 'keep' the house, unless one of those government 'programs' would apply, like the HARP program.

 

If you're not amicable and/or in agreement on the essentials, the D will be contested and legal help will likely be necessary at some point.

 

What you can do is go down to your courthouse any open day and go to the family law division and ask if they have a self-help program. If they do, the staff won't provide legal advice but will make sure your documents are filed properly and may suggest low-cost legal assistance and/or programs to save money on filing fees. IMO, your local court is your first stop. See what's out there, then proceed with the best information you can obtain in front of you. It might be self-help, it might be mediation, it might be separate lawyers. You have to start at some point.

 

BTDT, good luck.

[d0nnivain]

It will cost you a certain amount of money to hire a lawyer to help you get divorced. It will cost you more money if you have to hire a lawyer later to fix all the stuff you screwed up while you were trying to save money while DIY.

[Elias33]

In contrast to the above post, my total expenditure on my divorce was the $40 in gas I used to get to the court for the finalization.

 

I'm not going to advise one way or another, but I do want to point out that it can be done w/o an attorney and without spending a ton of $$$.

 

Same here. But it requires for both parties to be able to come to an agreement through communication with reason. Give a little, take a little. Focus only on things that are truly important (kids). Stuff can be bought back.

[george roy]

The expense will be in all those things you AREN'T considering that you pay a lawyer for…

 

Trust me - it will cost you more in the long-run if you don't get a lawyer.

 

It will cost you a certain amount of money to hire a lawyer to help you get divorced. It will cost you more money if you have to hire a lawyer later to fix all the stuff you screwed up while you were trying to save money while DIY.

 

Both of these bear repeating.

 

With a house and kids, even more so.

 

I retained an attorney and filed on my STBXW. She went and spoke with an attorney, and what STBXW and I have agreed to do is come up with our own 'wish lists' and submit them to MY attorney for review.

 

And she is well aware that I am his client (as he told me).

 

Odds are, we're going to agree on the kids for the most part.

 

It's probably not going to be perfect, but it's a start.

[awholenewworld]

Yes, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get some legal representation as soon as possible. I have too much I stand to loose and I don't want to be a statistic.

[awholenewworld]

Well, now he is agreeing to everything. He wants to file our own paperwork, he's giving me the house and 900 in child support. BUT.....

He made sure he put in the financial section that he makes "between 600-2400 per month" and supported that with our pathetic tax return last year. Keep in mind, as someone who is self employed, you can write almost everything off imaginable, and he has.

 

Will allowing him to show very little income hurt me with child support?

[TheBladeRunner]

Well, now he is agreeing to everything. He wants to file our own paperwork, he's giving me the house and 900 in child support. BUT.....

He made sure he put in the financial section that he makes "between 600-2400 per month" and supported that with our pathetic tax return last year. Keep in mind, as someone who is self employed, you can write almost everything off imaginable, and he has.

 

Will allowing him to show very little income hurt me with child support?

 

I cannot say for sure, but I am self employed as well and if you were to look at my quarterlies you would think I work at Taco Bell. I could have nailed my XW with some pretty big bills (child support, alimony, AND maintenance!) but chose not to. I've said it once, I'll say it again: "Save a penny, spend a buck"....... I would suggest talking with an attorney/getting some representation.....who knows what he has planned. I'd rather be safe than sorry......JMO.

[carhill]

Will allowing him to show very little income hurt me with child support?

 

Absolutely it will affect child support as such is based on a formula; however, if he's hiding cash, forensic accounting (not inexpensive) can shake loose hidden income and, if extant, can leave him vulnerable to sanctions from the court, not to mention an IRS-state tax audit. Such accounting might also turn up hidden assets.

 

If you want the house, go apply for a mortgage by yourself and see if you can be approved. If you can't, no way will the current lender in their right mind release either of you from the mortgage. No lender I've worked for ever would. Sure, either of you can quit-claim your interest in the property, but both will still be on the hook for the mortgage and that is absolutely not where you want to be with an adversarial present or former spouse.

 

We dealt with some of your issues but owned our businesses separately and our domicile was my sole and separate property from long prior to our M so was easy to process and was handled in mediation.

 

As I stated prior, your local court where your divorce papers will be filed is your first point of contact. Spend some face time down there and see what's what. You might qualify for fee waivers, a not insubstantial amount. You might qualify for low/no cost mediation, one potential avenue to reduce costs. The court, either self-help or their online help, can explain the processes pertinent to your jurisdiction. As such vary widely, our experiences and advice may not apply to your particulars.

 

If I were in your shoes, I'd contact the court and my mortgage lender/broker. Gather information.

[ChinUp]

Without a doubt you need to get an attorney - ASAP. You mentioned he likes to make issues. It will protect both of you and ensure your children's needs are met.