strongnrelaxed Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Perhaps one of the most common threads on this site is the "Why did he stop calling me?" question. Rarely are the answers any good - more supportive comments from other women than anything else. If you really want to know, here is an answer that should cover most circumstances: Some people play games and have tests. Others, like me, just look for signs. Signs that she will cheat, that she is a staunch feminist or racist, that she has a lot of male "friends", that she is inconsistent in terms of words and deeds, she is a liar, etc. The minute a major red flag like this pops up, we men begin the process of uncoupling. There is no one way to do this, but whatever way we do it, men have to be very careful about this. If a man is too harsh or too honest with her, she can levy a false rape allegation against him, she can spread rumors about him, or lie about him, or harm him in any one of a thousand ways. This is how most modern women are - they can be very dangerous to men. Not all women are like this, of course, but because so many women are, we never know if our woman is among the decent 30% who are too ethical to pull crap like this. Look around, you will see this for yourself. The reasons, red flags, and signs can vary all over the place, but the pattern of reading a woman and then backing off is so common that I am shocked women still do not get this. If your man backs off, he is not afraid of commitment - just commitment to YOU. You are likely a jerk in some way and he does not want to piss you off. He will say "hey, it's not you, it's me" and anything he can to cut you lose with minimal sleaze happening to him. Now you know. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 (edited) Ugh, more self-proclaimed "advice". A man pulls away either because he's playing games or because he met you, realized you're not what he's looking for, and did the classic "fade-out". Nothing wrong with the second part, that's what dating is for. Plenty wrong with the first part, since game players waste my time, and the minute I sense that they're messing with my mind, I walk away. As for all the "women are jerks/feminists" garbage, that's all it is. Garbage. Women aren't dangerous to men. Pah! Edited December 25, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language 3 Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 The major reason I suspect is after the guy gets laid he backs off he divided and conqoured the vagina and he is done.... a big majority of men like sex but not a commitment so they back off after they had a little fun... I'm not talking about the guys on LS that actually want a relationship but the general population of guys out trolling bars gyms grocery stores looking for some booty Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 A guy pulls back: 1. He wanted sex n got it 2. He wanted sex n didn't get it 3. He wanted sex but knows he has to put in too much effort into it 4. Commitment phobic 5. Finds someone else he thinks fits his requirements better 6. His feelings change for whatever reason 7. He has some secret which he finds too embarrassing 8. He feels he is not good enough for you 9. He finds out you are not good enough for him 10. He is still not over his ex or gets back with his ex 11. He likes you but not enough to make u his girlfriend Ladies - Please ignore any guy who pulls back. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 It's never because they are madly in love with you yet have... Some sort of legitimate reason to pull away. Maybe 1 in 1000 men have a legit, true reason for NOT choosing to be with a girl that he SERIOUSLY liked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Ugh, more self-proclaimed "advice". A man pulls away either because he's playing games or because he met you, realized you're not what he's looking for, and did the classic "fade-out". Nothing wrong with the second part, that's what dating is for. I'm sorry but the second part is most definitely NOT OK. If two adults are dating, and one adult decides that the other person isn't what they're looking for then they should have the common decency to open their mouth and SAY "Hey look, I just don't think this is working out, I wish you the best." The classic "fade out" shows a person who is inconsiderate, and most DEFINITELY a coward. I've been faded on so many times in the past and it never looses it's sting. You never know what the hell is going on, what you've done wrong, you wonder what happened to that person, ESPECIALLY if you've been dating and talking for over a month, or you've slept with that person, and then they just fade out??? NO. NOT OK. It's NOT OK with being completely thrown out like garbage out of no where, not a word, not even so much respect as to say, "I've had a good time getting to know you but I don't see it going any further." Boys listen up (and girls too), put your man/women panties on and do the right thing. Fading out is not the right thing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 If I see any signs that this will just not work for me I will be honest and tell the woman. I usually had very good reasons for doing this. Link to post Share on other sites
MrStinky Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 If your man backs off, he is not afraid of commitment - just commitment to YOU. Amen! This is the GOD'S HONEST TRUTH 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I've been faded on so many times in the past and it never looses it's sting. You never know what the hell is going on, what you've done wrong, you wonder what happened to that person, ESPECIALLY if you've been dating and talking for over a month, or you've slept with that person, and then they just fade out??? NO. NOT OK. Yes it hurts so much Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Ugh, more self-proclaimed "advice". A man pulls away either because he's playing games or because he met you, realized you're not what he's looking for, and did the classic "fade-out". Nothing wrong with the second part, that's what dating is for. Plenty wrong with the first part, since game players waste my time, and the minute I sense that they're messing with my mind, I walk away. As for all the "women are jerks/feminists" garbage, that's all it is. Garbage. Women aren't dangerous to men. Pah! You are making this so black and white its not even funny. I have pulled away more times than I can remember, and guess what, I don't play games. I do it because I saw too many red flags. Things that will make me pull away every time : Shady behavior. Rudeness. Excessive clingyness. Jealousy / trust issues (usually when they are expressed WAY too early and before thay are warrented. I.E. 3 weeks in) When she starts moving way too fast. When she starts sending me nude pictures after I've only known her 3 days. Any sign that shows me that I really didn't have to work very hard at all to win her over, and that shows me that it would be really easy for some other guy to come in and grab her attention mid-relationship. Thats why I pull back, its not because I'm playing games or because I'm some kind of horrible person. Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 As much as it annoys us, deep inside we know that you just changed your mind about us. Which is totally okay by the way, as long as you stick to your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 I'm sorry but the second part is most definitely NOT OK. If two adults are dating, and one adult decides that the other person isn't what they're looking for then they should have the common decency to open their mouth and SAY "Hey look, I just don't think this is working out, I wish you the best." The classic "fade out" shows a person who is inconsiderate, and most DEFINITELY a coward. I've been faded on so many times in the past and it never looses it's sting. You never know what the hell is going on, what you've done wrong, you wonder what happened to that person, ESPECIALLY if you've been dating and talking for over a month, or you've slept with that person, and then they just fade out??? NO. NOT OK. It's NOT OK with being completely thrown out like garbage out of no where, not a word, not even so much respect as to say, "I've had a good time getting to know you but I don't see it going any further." Boys listen up (and girls too), put your man/women panties on and do the right thing. Fading out is not the right thing. Oops, sorry wrong wording on my behalf! My thinking got ahead of my writing. What I meant is, it's ok to go on a date and find out you don't like the other person. That's what I meant about the second part being ok. You're absolutely right, the face-out is not ok, and I've written in other posts how immature and cowardly the person pulling the fade-out is. I was just too lazy to write all that out. Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 If two adults are dating, and one adult decides that the other person isn't what they're looking for then they should have the common decency to open their mouth and SAY "Hey look, I just don't think this is working out, I wish you the best." The problem with this is that you are making the assumption that the person you are dating is grown enough to accept the rejection willingly and walk away without causing drama and problems. That is getting harder to find among people these days so I have no issues doing the "fade away". Link to post Share on other sites
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