ravssss Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 wow jst went through this thread ... troubled childhood is very common in these exes ... including mine 3 Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 (edited) wow jst went through this thread ... troubled childhood is very common in these exes ... including mine My ex is an only child, and his parents never really grew up. He moved around A LOT when he was younger and his father suffered from drug addiction. So he didn't really have any stability during childhood which does affect a person throughout their adult life. We are the sum of our experiences, but overall I do believe people can change their ways. Sometimes I think that he ran from our love because it was real and genuine and that freaked him out. I'm not the kind of girl you fool around with casually, I'm the kind of girl you marry and are proud to be with. I think he felt he wouldn't be able to be the man he needed to be in our relationship so he eventually bailed. Maybe I'm wrong and trying to make excuses for him, but I saw a good guy deep down. Edited December 27, 2013 by singme2sleep 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nomadic_butterfly Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 My ex is an only child, and his parents never really grew up. He moved around A LOT when he was younger and his father suffered from drug addiction. So he didn't really have any stability during childhood which does affect a person throughout their adult life. We are the sum of our experiences, but overall I do believe people can change their ways. Sometimes I think that he ran from our love because it was real and genuine and that freaked him out. I'm not the kind of girl you fool around with casually, I'm the kind of girl you marry and are proud to be with. I think he felt he wouldn't be able to be the man he needed to be in our relationship so he eventually bailed. Maybe I'm wrong and trying to make excuses for him, but I saw a good guy deep down. All able minded and able bodied human being have the propensity for good and evil. Perhaps you saw who he was/could be at his core; a feat he has yet to discover introspectively. The only pity there is you don't know when they themselves will come to this self-realization so you have to move on because it is not healthy to sit around and wait for a process that is beyond your control. I can totally relate to this! But change takes time...and so many other things so I just forgive them and pray for the best and send positive energy in their direction and move on. Not much else to do most of the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ravssss Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 My ex is an only child, and his parents never really grew up. He moved around A LOT when he was younger and his father suffered from drug addiction. So he didn't really have any stability during childhood which does affect a person throughout their adult life. We are the sum of our experiences, but overall I do believe people can change their ways. Sometimes I think that he ran from our love because it was real and genuine and that freaked him out. I'm not the kind of girl you fool around with casually, I'm the kind of girl you marry and are proud to be with. I think he felt he wouldn't be able to be the man he needed to be in our relationship so he eventually bailed. Maybe I'm wrong and trying to make excuses for him, but I saw a good guy deep down. its same here .. even after break up when we met she did respect me and never blamed me for it ... calling herself a disappointment in the relationship ... after days of NC ... i feel i need not hate her jst because this was the first time i felt sooo ****ed in life ... and i did want to make her feel positive abt herself ... and take something good from the relationship ... getting a good childhood indeed is a blessing and am happy about it ... Link to post Share on other sites
ravssss Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 What a unique perspective, singme! The stable ones have all the time to reflect and learn in sorrow while the dumpers take their same mess into the next relationship. These people should come with warning labels. u cant blame ppl ... i have seen ppl who got dumped ... dump another when they enter and justify the act ... any relationship can turn into a mess today .. we live in a different world altogether now ... lol ...i wonder how in last century ppl could be in love when partner was far away because of distance and could contact only through post card .. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 To go back to the original poster's question, I think perhaps dumpers are reciting words of love right before they drop the bomb is because they're still trying to convince theirselves that that care about the dumpees. Just a thought tho... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 To go back to the original poster's question, I think perhaps dumpers are reciting words of love right before they drop the bomb is because they're still trying to convince theirselves that that care about the dumpees. Just a thought tho... I think you are right. My ex told me he considered proposing instead of breaking up with me. Now, that's a conflicted individual. He was texting me that he loved me on the very day he broke up with me, and he has just planted a rose bush in our yard for me that past weekend. So he was waffling for a month he told me. Link to post Share on other sites
Softie Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 wow jst went through this thread ... troubled childhood is very common in these exes ... including mine And my ex but also myself too, thankfully I have and still work on mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Riou Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 To go back to the original poster's question, I think perhaps dumpers are reciting words of love right before they drop the bomb is because they're still trying to convince theirselves that that care about the dumpees. Just a thought tho... That could be the case.The crux of it all is that they do not communicate how they feel/what they want,it's like they never gave a chance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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