He's acting weird...I need some light

[irresolute]

You told him you "liked him" and he changed the subject? What does that tell you? If a man did that to me, I'd assume he didn't feel the same way. I think he may like you as a friend. He may like having sex with you, but I don't think it means he has feelings for you. I think this man is emotionally unavailable and that's why he goes for married woman.

 

Honestly Irresolute, I think you need to stop overanalyzing him and make a decision. If you're happy with him and can handle the inconsistency of his communication then continue and stop analyzing every message he sends. After a year, he's not going to change. I doubt he's going to contact more or fall madly in love with you. If you can't handle it, end it and move on. It really is that simple. I know for me, I would NOT and did NOT risk having an affair with someone who's inconsistent and makes me feel bad. It's up to you though, deal with it or don't.

 

That stupid little thing like telling someone I like you, that doesn't mean commitment or anything likewise...He just cannot reciprocate. what does it mean? that he doesn't like me? then why he's always available for me? It's silly and stupid.

when I asked him, long time ago, if he enjoyed my company, he just said: it's obvious, no? Or when I once asked him if he was attracted to me...same stupid answer, like I had to descipher him.- He just can't say anything that has any emotional meaning to me. Which is understandable, given the fact I'm married, and he can't expect anything from me. But really? that silly I like you and he changes subject? So what? He doesn't like me? wtf...

 

Violet, I agree totally with your comment. The key here is not to expect, in any way. Difficult task.

[blue963]

Yes the deciphering is crazy-making. Could he just not be the type of person that can express his feelings?

[irresolute]

Yes the deciphering is crazy-making. Could he just not be the type of person that can express his feelings?

 

He's guarding his feelings, I guess it's just that? Or he doesn't like me and he has to make an effort to be with me each time? He's also shy, maybe its that? But gezz, he just couldn't say I like you too? What's wrong with that? I remember another time, I had to ask him to say something nice to me. Nothing ever comes from him.

This Sunday is just hell, I have this urge to contact yet I have to refrain myself.

[Nothisgirl]

He's guarding his feelings, I guess it's just that? Or he doesn't like me and he has to make an effort to be with me each time? He's also shy, maybe its that? But gezz, he just couldn't say I like you too? What's wrong with that? I remember another time, I had to ask him to say something nice to me. Nothing ever comes from him.

This Sunday is just hell, I have this urge to contact yet I have to refrain myself.

 

 

I can honestly almost feel you spinning your wheels with this guy who very obviously does not deserve your time and energy...it doesn't seem like your able to separate the emotion and allow it to just be physical...I urge you to not put another thought into him..let him make the next move and if he doesn't you know where your "relationship" stands..andthen, take all of that energy and do something for yourself...focus on you and what's going to make you happy in the long run

[irresolute]

I can honestly almost feel you spinning your wheels with this guy who very obviously does not deserve your time and energy...it doesn't seem like your able to separate the emotion and allow it to just be physical...I urge you to not put another thought into him..let him make the next move and if he doesn't you know where your "relationship" stands..andthen, take all of that energy and do something for yourself...focus on you and what's going to make you happy in the long run

 

OK. I won't contact again. But I know he won't contact either, so it'll be the end.

 

 

I'm editing just to add I logged in, and he just chequed on me on AM.

Edited December 30, 2013 by irresolute

[Oldspiceywolf]

It just seems that this guy is into hotwives and cuckold type play, these are complicated fetishes which means he's a complicated guy. You will not get what you want from him if you aren't willing to play games, and when I say play games, I mean work at manipulating him.

 

I think you just have to take what you can get and accept it while you look for someone else exciting If your not willing to do whatever it takes to get the desired reaction out of him you're looking for the. You won't get it.

 

I wish you would give us the whole story, it's hard to understand your motivations. First I thought you just wanted an easy affair. Next you sounded like you wanted to make him fall for him so that you can dump but now you sound obsessive/stalkerish. I don't know if there is anything I can tell you that will help if you decide to act like a stalker, your whole way of thinking is off an you have to deal with that before rationally trying to get what you want from somebody else.

 

Figure out what you want from him, come up with a plan, if you can't commit to your plan then it's tough nuts for you and you'll have to work on letting it go.

 

I suggest psychedelics(if you don't want to go to therapy). You need to get in touch with what's going on inside. Your actions aren't making a lot of sense.

[irresolute]

Spicew.: I sent you my first private message

[Nothisgirl]

OK. I won't contact again. But I know he won't contact either, so it'll be the end.

 

 

I'm editing just to add I logged in, and he just chequed on me on AM.

 

Stop logging on to check if he's checked on you..you're torturing yourself!

Devils advocate here...Is it not possible he is logging on just to check his messages? ( or can you tell he's browsed your profile?--sorry I'm not familiar with that site)

 

I really feel for you because I can tell this is so hard for you maybe your feelings are more than you've allowed yourself to admit?

 

Either way I think you just need to ask him for what you want. Be honest with him and then move forward appropriately

[irresolute]

Stop logging on to check if he's checked on you..you're torturing yourself!

Devils advocate here...Is it not possible he is logging on just to check his messages? ( or can you tell he's browsed your profile?--sorry I'm not familiar with that site)

 

I really feel for you because I can tell this is so hard for you maybe your feelings are more than you've allowed yourself to admit?

 

Either way I think you just need to ask him for what you want. Be honest with him and then move forward appropriately

 

 

Can't help it, it's addictive. Worst part is I don't really know what's going on in his life based on his online activity, though I can tell whether he's interested on me or not. And at the moment, he really is. Surprisingly, he is.

 

No way he might be checking his messages. Single men on AM receive 0 messages a day, believe me. Plus, he told me he was checking on me the other day. I know when he wants to talk to me because he goes online and doesn't go incognito.

 

I do have feelings for him, yet I get scared sometimes, when we we do have contact too often, I really got scared /i don't know why. And I go in shut down method. I'm scared of being hurt. We texted last night, he wants to meet me again this week but it's difficult I could make it. I have a sense of power right now, I know how this is going to end, when he'll start ignoring me again after we meet.

Edited December 30, 2013 by irresolute