Do all nice guys finish last?

[Jason]

We've all heard it before that nice guys finish last...But today I was thinking about this more and have a good question to ask all of you.

 

A good looking guy (or a very good looking guy) who is nice, considerate, honest, confident, and basically a great person---will he finish last? I imagine that such a guy would be a steal for any woman who captures him...so, could we say that not all nice guys finish last?

[sparkle]

If he's too nice, too considerate, too confident, and too great of a person, he will have trouble finding a lady.

 

If he's mean, inconsiderate, dishonest and insecure...an overall jerk, he'll probably have girls chasing after him.

 

But I think that's cause women have their own share of problems. Jerks are more common to find than the amazing guy. Many girls are insecure..low self-esteem, etc so they tend to go for the guys that they're used to, and it's usually the jerks that have made them like that, treated them bad, but that's what they know..and sometimes people pursue what they've seen and dealt with most of their life..even if it was a guy that treated them badly.

 

And when they meet that incredible guy, they have their insecurities and sometimes don't feel worthy to date this guy..or he seems out of their league. And then again, there are women who see dating as a big game...they want a challenge..they want to pursue, they want to be pursued. once the challenge is over, so is the excitement in the chase...and many relationships can deteriorate when the thrill is gone.

 

it's the same thing with guys i think..vice-versa...

 

i think i'm rambling and going off the topic...will write more later

[Rogue]

I don't know what to tell you.The kind of guy you described sounds like he won't finish last....but from what I know of friends and family nothing is guaranteed.

 

For example, my buddy Ray (not his real name) is exactly like the guy you described..confident, good looking, honest and yes, a really nice,cool guy. He married a really cool woman ,who had a million good looking guys after her, but picked Ray because he was nice and honest. She picked him out of all the others BECAUSE of his "nice"ness (she told me this). They're happily married,two good kids, and doing just great.

 

My other buddy Jack (not his real name), has the same qualities : good-looking, confident, honest, loyal, and nice. He married a woman who left him two years later for some jerk she met in an internet chat room. She threw him out of their house, then left him. Last I heard, he was starting divorce proceedings. Jack had his share of female admirers, but still finished last.

 

Now, what's the moral of my story?

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "A good looking guy (or a very good looking guy) who is nice, considerate, honest, confident, and basically a great person---will he finish last?"

 

I think it would depend on the horses he was competing with and the surface of the race track. But usually the horses will be faster.

[Tony T]

The experience of love is very unique to every individual, to every day, to every time and to every season.

 

There are many women who will genuinely love a nice guy and give him their heart forever. They usually came from great families, have high esteem, good character, and generally have been around the block a few times.

 

The are many females who will take a nice guy, chew him up, use him, grind him up and spit him out into the street. No woman, nowhere in the world, wants a lovesick wussie. Women want a MAN. It's their job to rip his butt apart until he learns to be that way.

 

A real man, a gentleman, is kind, considerate, thoughtful, generous, sensitive but he does not overdo it. He's generous but no overly so. He gives, but intermittently and not out of proportion to the context of the relationship. He does not seem desperate. His kindness is well tuned and does not subject those around him to nausea.

 

A real man does not reveal himself too quickly. Nothing, I mean nothing on the planet, will turn a lady off faster than for a guy to come on to her from the very beginning with flowers, candy, gifts, five calls a day, showing up at her place without warning, shining her shoes, etc. A gentleman does not deprive a lady of her need to do a little chasing herself. He does not deprive her of having the challenge she craves.

 

But I suppose what determines whether someone is too nice or not is the chemistry between two people. Yes, once the right two people meet each other, there is a perfect combination of kindness and respect...of generosity...of consideration, etc. Once that balance is struck by two people, a great relationship ensues.

 

So I guess our quest is to find that perfect combination.

 

But if a man is kind, generous, thoughful, considerate, etc., it is wrong for him to act the part of a bastard to attract women. Ladies sense that and it pisses them off. He really has to tone down a bit and wait for the right lady...she is out there.

 

The real bastards are losers, however, because the relationships they create are based on weakness and dysfunction. They may get the attention of a lady temporarily but those sick situations don't stand the test of time.

 

I guess there aren't a lot of real men, gentlemen, out there. And maybe a lot of the ladies are just really confused, torn between wanting a nice guy, wanting a challenge, and even wanting a guy like the date who yelled at them, abused them, etc. when they were little.

 

I think it all works out in the wash if we stand up for what we believe to be right.

 

Nice guys finish wherever they want to finish. But often they come in last a few times before they get up to speed on this love stuff.

 

I agree with everything sparkle had to say but she stopped because she was rambling on. Now, I'm rambling on and going to stop too and await sparkle to continue her rambling after which I shall perhaps resume mine...if you are nice to me.

[Dragonflys]

I usually need a pacifier and blinkers otherwise I drop the bit....

[unnamed]

I find myself mildly attractive, very sensitive, do not put down others, etc. Basically the description you made.

 

I believe finishing first is finding the right girl for you, and marrying her. I will be doing that, for sure, and that in no way makes me finish last.

 

The men who finish last are ones who thrive on physical characteristics and pleasure. They just don't realize it, and not many 'nice guys' see that, either.

[Nic]

give me an honest, caring, sympathetic, loyal nice guy any day, and i can guarantee you, he won't finish last. i feel a lot of the whole "finishing last" theory all depends on the kind of girl the nice guy is with. some people just don't know how to appreciate a good person when they've got one, and some simply don't deserve a great guy.

 

arrogant jerks have never, ever been an attraction for me. they're a total put off to be honest. yuk!

 

but, nice girls can also finish last too *sigh*. i had a wonderful, honest, caring boyfriend and he left me!!! *sigh, sigh*. and i seriously am a nice girl with many qualities that many guys would admire, and i can honestly say i didn't do anything wrong to be left in the lurches *sigh, sigh, sigh*.

 

it's all the luck of the draw i guess...

We've all heard it before that nice guys finish last...But today I was thinking about this more and have a good question to ask all of you.

 

A good looking guy (or a very good looking guy) who is nice, considerate, honest, confident, and basically a great person---will he finish last? I imagine that such a guy would be a steal for any woman who captures him...so, could we say that not all nice guys finish last?

[David]

a lot of insecure guys are very nice to compensate for their weakness.