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TrappedWanderer

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TrappedWanderer

Have been doing my best to get through these past few days. 4 months ago I was soooooooooo happy, recently married, getting on a plane to move to my new husbands country, excited to start our lives together.

 

It's now been a complete turn of life, a recent masters graduate, single, living back at home with my parents, having given up everything-happily so and with much thought and consideration-to start this new adventure called marriage. I still can't believe it's all disappeared so quickly. :(

 

I'm angry-he took not only my marriage away from me, but my whole life-apartment, job, friends, location, financial security...everything. Makes it hard to fully move on when you're surrounded by upheaval and reminded of hardships at every turn.

 

Was so looking forward to this time of year, my favorite, and couldn't wait to start making new traditions. How much I was looking forward to starting to build my own family. He was too...so he said. Now, as friends as getting engaged and married and having babies, I want to be happy for them-I am,really- but it just reminds me of all that I don't have. I never craved those things but, when I thought they were within reach, I wanted them. Truly. And it just hurts.

 

I guess I'm just venting. Been trying to keep it inside and not ruin everyone else's holiday. I'm tired of being poor pathetic newly divorced lady. I wish I hadn't been duped into a farce of a marriage. Because I value those things. He clearly did not. In my head I know I did all I could, with integrity, and it's not my fault he conned and used me. But still a hard one to swallow.

 

Sorry for the long post. Just feeling a lot of things right now. Wine probably doesn't help, haha.

 

My wish for 2014 is to reclaim my life and find confidence, joy, and acceptance. I wish that for all of you here, too, that are hurting. I want to say I'll come out of this a better, stronger person and will find that person that is truly meant to be my partner...but just now, at the lowest point, that's hard to believe deep down.

Edited by TrappedWanderer
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TrappedWanderer

Thanks for the kind words and support, wolverinefan :) good days and bad...like we all do. Going on a mini trip to visit an old college friend in a few days and think it will do me some good...focusing on the good things..and things that aren't at all associated with the mess my life is now.

 

Sorry to hear about your own divorce...hope the holidays are treating you well and are filled with joy. Again, thanks for the nice words and the solidarity :)

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TrappedWanderer

Hi Beach, You can find all the info here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/430282-moved-abroad-him-now-s-over

 

Basically, we were newly married (after being friends for 11 years and dating 2 years), I moved abroad to his country, and he totally changed and became abusive.

 

Misadventure-thanks for your kind words...exactly, reclaiming life is what to focus on. Hope you're doing ok, as well. Here's to a far better, more open and honest 2014!

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