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Fell of crack wagon, feening, and needing advice!


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Starry_Night

I have only posted here a couple of times but today I am having a very difficult time. I have been addicted to smoking crack cocaine for quite a long time now although I did give it up for a few years but eventually fell off the wagon. I have been clean for ten days I did once eleven days ago it was the first time in a couple of months. Well I'm having trouble today. I am feening and honestly do not know what to do. Before it was easy to get over the feening because I had a partner that helped me to take my mind off things and to get over these urges. Now I am alone and feeling very desperate [for the drugs] again. I won't do it because I do not have the money to do so but my question is how do I get rid of the cravings? Please do not be mean or lecture me too much, I know it is a bad thing but I am looking for support and advice on how to deal with the feening aspect of this addiction. Thanks. -Starry_Night :(

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addiction and recovery is hard and should not be done alone. Is there any meetings you can go to to help you get some support?

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Starry_Night

I used to attend meetings but [please don't judge] hearing about their stories, hearing about crack use, it made me feen more. Most of the people from my meetings were continuing to use but only attending due to court orders, so no support there. Besides being painfully shy so it's hard to talk about my problem. I have my family's support none of them have any addictions of any sort but they try and help me the best they can. Aside from them I'm on my own that's why I was looking for suggestions here. :(

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HokeyReligions

Congrats and cyber-applause for working to quit and reaching out! No bashing here AT ALL. None of us are perfect and the fact that you are trying and taking positive steps is terrific!

 

Are there any meetings you can go to? What about looking around the Internet for some on-line support groups too? Maybe the searching part will also help you to keep your mind occupied and strenthen your resolve, even though you are still thinking of cocain?

 

Is there a chore or work task that you have been putting off that you can now work on? Clean a closet? Write a report? Learn a new software or learn more about a software that you already know?

 

Or make it your mission to look at every unanswered post on LoveShack and put some kind of reply to each one?

 

Physical exercise is good for just about everything because the body heals itself and will stimulate its own good chemicals while ridding itself of toxics. Maybe take a brisk walk, walk the dog? Wash the car?

 

What about the partner you had before -- can you call him or her? Or ask another friend to do something with you tonight so that you are not alone? Call old friends you haven't talked to in a long time and just touch base with them.

 

One thing about falling off the wagon -- the wagon always stops and waits for you to get back on. Even with a lot of stops, eventually the wagon - and you - reach your desired destination. Its only when you don't get back on that you - and the wagon - stop and go nowhere.

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Starry_Night

:( Honestly I have lost contact with the only friend I had. My old partner helped me without realizing that I had an addiction. I never told him so I could not call him for support. I can not call him because he would take that as a sign that I want to be back with him and that would only cause me more harm than good. Thank you for all your wonderful suggestions and when you said this

One thing about falling off the wagon -- the wagon always stops and waits for you to get back on. Even with a lot of stops, eventually the wagon - and you - reach your desired destination. Its only when you don't get back on that you - and the wagon - stop and go nowhere.
It struck a chord with me. I know I can and will [i [b]have [/b]to for myself and my own good] get back on the wagon. Thank you for the support, I think I will seek an online support group if I can find one maybe others are going through the same things that I am. :)
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HokeyReligions

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/index.php?

 

I did a quick search and found this site. It looks like they have more resources that you can look through, and a message forum similiar to LoveShack for people who are working through addiction and recovery.

 

Continuing to send you "You Can Do It" cyber-vibes! :D

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No jude here, I was addicted to extacy for a long time getting off it was the HARDEST and the best thing I ever did and I will not tell you it's easy, I still get cravings for it and I have been clean for 6 years.

 

Write down all the goals you want to acheive in your life and concentrate on how you are going to get there and acheive them, you know Crack can't do anyting but harm you and your better than that, it's time for a new chapter in your life embrace it and move on to bigger, better and satisfying things. I know that it can make you lose everything, I've known people to cheat and steal for it, and it's not worth it. Have you ever had any religion in your life... ( it's irrelivant) but if you have maby finding a church group that helps recovering additcs may help.

 

Drugs are an escape and you can't escape life, I have been guilty of it, and I learned extreamly hard lessons to early in my life. Do you have an y faimly you can talk to?

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Starry_Night

Thanks! I checked out that link. You have all been most helpful. Thank you very much. :)

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I don't have a lot to add, but I do want to say [color=violet]CONGRATS[/color] to you for making the right decision! You are 11 days closer to the life you deserve.

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i think that you should try to find things that occupy your time so you dont do it. if your busy with people or doing something like shopping, or even going to the bookstore to read the magazines for free (thats what i do lol) you wont have that much of a craving... i mean it may work and it mightnot. also, if you cant find things to occupy ur time- take some tylenol pm and crash. if ur sleeping you wont have cravings-and its a good way to rest ur body instead of doing more damage to it. ive seen crack feins and sweetie you can tell just by their appearance. stop before its too late and you wind up looking like them. i mean its a scary thing-and its hard to get over but its not worth the money or the damage.

ive had friends in the situation b4 and i helped them thru it by just being with them. b/c if i was around them they wouldnt be doing it. i myself have never been addicted to drugs but ive been thru the phases. i was in the extasy phase...going to clubs and taking one or even at parties and especially my prom weekend. i did it for a while and my speech and they way i talked started affecting me. once i noticed this i stopped...i didnt want to continue ruining my body. i didnt want to be 60 and crippled and in a nursing home w/ ppl taking care of me 24/7. ive been thru the coke phase as well. i would do soo much of it throughout the weekend that i wouldnt sleep till late sunday night. 2 days without sleep had me physically looking horrible...it hit me then, that i cant keep doing this to myself. i tried to get all my firends to stop and they wouldnt. i couldnt be around that so i stopped my friendship with them. they've learned their lessons now b/c they were all arrested recently w/ possesion...that would be rock bottom for me b/c now they have a record of being a druggie.

but anyways im clean now and i just drink/smoke occasionally...i put aside all the hardcore drugs b/c ive wasted soooo much money...u gotta look at it that way- that $20-$50 adds up.... well good luck ... i kno its hard but its all about mind over matter

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I feel you because i gats the same problem, i smoke and its hard for me to stop.

just pray God is the only way dear. :love:

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