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Can't get over GF's past, and she lied about it


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Thanks for the replies.

 

Well, I never referred to them as "mistakes" to her -- this is how she referred them to me. Of course not all were mistakes, but it seems like most were. She was in a long term relationship for 3.5 years from 18-21. So after this, she moved away from her hometown and started meeting new people. There were guys that she liked and had feelings for, and she thought the way she could get the guy to like her was to sleep with him. So, for these cases, she considered these mistakes on her end. It was a learning experience, but in her eyes, a mistake nonetheless. Then there were other guys that really reeled her in and got her in the sack and then dumped her. Then there was her phase where she hated guys and did the same to them, etc. etc. So, they were all experiences, but many were mistakes in her eyes. To her, the experiences were mostly bad, which is why I think she calls them a mistake. So no, not ALL were mistakes, so I should have worded it as "experience". We know of each other's background and have mutual friends because our hometowns are very close to one another.

 

I guess I concluded that the excuses or reasons or whatever -- doesn't really matter -- because I can really see how these experiences have made her a better person.

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because I can really see how these experiences have made her a better person.

Bravo!

 

This is very, very commendable on your part and it is my wish that more men were like this.

 

OP, I am a 50-year old woman who recently got married after 25 years since my first marriage. In those intervening 25 years (as I stated before), I had several long-term relationships but hundreds of sexual partners.

 

Yes, in many instances, those "dalliances" were mistakes. But they have made me who I am today and I am very lucky that my now-husband was not judgmental about my promiscuity, but saw how it built as a whole the person I have now become.

 

Many, many men are too insecure to be able to do that and I'm glad you are looking at the whole picture of this woman you are involved with.

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