Did u also got a Xmas card from STBX or just ex?

[dienstag]

Merry Xmas all!

 

it has been more than 24 hours but i still somehow feel confused and uncertain how i feel about it, never mind how to react to it

 

we have been leaving separately for 4 months and in the process of divorce after it turned out the last 12 years of my life was a lie and my stbx is a very sick individual who was living an alternative lifestyle behind my back all through the marraige. We have 2 small kids so nc is not an option - i hate his guts to bits (and he knows it very well) but i am a mother and a professional who knows how to deal with unpleasent clients, so we are very civilised in our communication

 

I got a card from him on xmas saying : to my wife - have a good xmas and a lovely 2014.

 

Is this a mockery? should i be offended or flattered? has anybody else got a card? is it normal?

 

opinions are appreciated

[LuvsTrucks2]

I can relate, we are in the same boat. I am a woman. I spoke with my STBXH this morning and he said he had a card for me. When I asked what type of card he said a Christmas card. I couldn't think of anyone that would give him a card to give to me so I asked who is it from and when he said me, I about dropped the phone. The only response I could muster up was oh. I'm not trying to analyze this but I want to be prepared. We spoke on Saturday and wished each other a Merry Christmas. He has never given me a card for Christmas before.

[M30USA]

Merry Xmas all!

 

it has been more than 24 hours but i still somehow feel confused and uncertain how i feel about it, never mind how to react to it

 

we have been leaving separately for 4 months and in the process of divorce after it turned out the last 12 years of my life was a lie and my stbx is a very sick individual who was living an alternative lifestyle behind my back all through the marraige. We have 2 small kids so nc is not an option - i hate his guts to bits (and he knows it very well) but i am a mother and a professional who knows how to deal with unpleasent clients, so we are very civilised in our communication

 

I got a card from him on xmas saying : to my wife - have a good xmas and a lovely 2014.

 

Is this a mockery? should i be offended or flattered? has anybody else got a card? is it normal?

 

opinions are appreciated

 

Based on the fact that he wrote "to my wife" in the card, I would guess that you left him against his wishes and that, yes, he is being cynical.

[K Os]

Is this a mockery? should i be offended or flattered? has anybody else got a card? is it normal?

 

After my wife moved out in July 18 months ago, she sent me a happy birthday message in August, and then again good wishes for Christmas. These weren't cards but they were still unwelcome. I didn't respond at Christmas and her birthday falls in February and I sent her nothing. She's got the message this year and has been silent on both days, which I appreciate.

 

I don't think there's any 'should' about feeling offended or flattered by it. How do you actually feel about it? I was disgusted by it, but that's not necessarily the 'right' reaction. It depends what it says to you, and that's a matter entirely for you, not him. If you don't think it's appropriate, tell him so, or just send the card back.

 

I think there's confusion about Christmas and birthdays after a split, and it's to do with being amicable or 'staying friends'. We send cards to our friends, so it makes sense to send one, and it can be confusing if you don't. If you have no intention of being friends with your ex (like me tee-hee), then it's much simpler. I will wish her a happy birthday and then get my ice skates on for a spin around hell.