She disappeared on me after THIRD date. WHY???

[365daysgone]

Just a tip. One way (actually the ONLY way) to know if someone blocked you on an iphone is if it rings no more than 1 time before going to voicemail. Does she have an iphone?

[TheFinalWord]

Thank you for that video, TFW.

 

I know that ppl are advising me to just forget about her but after a couple of dates I definitely feel some kind of connection with her. Its easy to let somebody go after a first date because that person is basically a stranger you shared a meal with. But I've spent hours talking to this girl and told her a lot of deep and sensitive things about myself, stuff I haven't told anybody else about, and she has done the same to me. How can I just drop her like that....and how can SHE just drop ME like that ? I guess I'm too much of an idealist at this stage, I haven't really faced disappointment and rejection before so it hurts a lot.

 

She does get a lot of attention from other guys. She appears to be reserved at first but definitely has way more dating experience than I do and I know that she's had several boyfriends in the past. Maybe she is still seeing someone else. Maybe she uses her POS flip phone for guys she is dating on the side, and another phone for her regular guy. I have no idea. Its strange how the more desperate I am, the more "what if's" and "maybes" appear in my head.

 

I don't think she would be put off by the party invitation. It's not some house party hosted by my friends. Its a paid event at a posh hotel with live music, drinks, food, ball drop, etc. Pretty expensive to get in, and I know she is off that night. I thought she would be ecstatic that I invited her. Maybe's she's seeing somebody else on New Years....

 

Yes, unfortunately that is the risk in dating. Also, you do not have to reveal too much about yourself to a girl early on, or you will get friend-zoned. She can drop you like that b/c she has many other men that are pursuing her. For you, you are fixated on one girl and letting your mind create fantasies about the special time you shared. You have to take things as they come and not allow yourself to get carried away, b/c people can (and do) walk away without a second thought.

 

I do not think you have to write her off, it could be that her phone was lost, etc. I personally don't buy excuses like that, but I have had enough experience to know that if someone is interested, they will find away. But who knows, it is up to you to decide. Either way you do need to keep your self in check. Even if you feel desperate, you do not want to come across as desperate. Let her chase you too. Most guys think they have to "do something" to keep a girl interested. When really, what you have to do is let a woman cultivate emotions, which is something that happens naturally. A common sign of being desperate is creating a lot of false scenarios in your head. Okay about the party. Personally, I would wait for that kind of social setting, but it is up to you.

Edited December 28, 2013 by TheFinalWord

[BillJJ]

First Question?

 

WHY THE F**K ARE YOU TEXTING A GIRL?

 

SERIOUSLY?

 

I am not that much older than you. In a real relationship this isn't Europe yet. But the man defines the relationship. Real Men do not send Text messages. Real men barely answer a Cell phone if they even have one.

 

If you are going to get in touch with a girl you sure as hell do not text message her. You call her up. If she does not answer you leave her a message. The fact she even knows you text is an amateur move.

 

Funny thing about America today. Most women say they want a Mans Man. Yet a bunch of sissy's who eat granola and text message Women rather than grab their balls and call them on the phone which ain't that difficult.

 

The Participation Trophy Generation which sadly I am apart of at its finest.

 

Maybe I am getting old but I partly agree. I never texted my first girlfriend when we were young because most teenagers didn't even have mobile phones back then and thankfully my current girlfriend isn't into texting either.

 

Texting is just another stupid fad of the Beaver/Cyrus generation you can count me out of.

[Vogeltron]

Disagree strongly. We have very different approaches, but yours is valid.

 

I text every time. I hate the phone. Lack of interpersonal communication on the phone.

 

I text a couple times and meet in person only. To me, a phone is too impersonal and I want to see them. The phone is for staying in touch with a girl you are serious about and know well, imo.

 

I think you are trying to bang the technology chick. I am trying to get a relationship with the rare one that ain't going to freak out if they leave their phone at home for a few hours. It is like a disease nowadays.

[Vogeltron]

Oh look a dinosaur.

 

This is 2013. The rules have changed.

 

Nope. "Men" which you hardly find in the younger than 30 generation. Have largely just become women. Like you apparently. If I ever texted a woman I would make sure to turn in my man card.

 

You just don't have the balls to actually go up to a chick and ask her up straight out. I am sure you send her some goofy message on Facebook or whatever. There are less and less real mean in America. They are becoming like Europeans a nation full of male chicks.

Edited December 31, 2013 by Vogeltron

[ae86drift]

Girls always do these Sh*t by ignoring all the crap, she totally not into you bud just moved on.

[fabulousgal]

Too bad she flaked, but you are putting way too much stock into 3 dates. People reveal themselves over lots of time, not 10 hours. This might just be her style.

[ParadisA330]

She's not interested in you and met someone else she likes better. Move on.

[WP4046]

She pretty much never initiates contact. 99% of the time I'm the first one to text her. But she's always replied back until this week. Also the strange thing is that each date has been better than the last. First date was awful, lots of awkward silences, not knowing what to say, I was a nervous wreck. If there was any time for her to disappear on me it would have been after date 1. I would have totally understood that. She flaked repeatedly on me when I was trying to set up date 2, but again she always responded back and even apologized for not getting back to me. Third date was went well we were both really relaxed and talked a lot about many things.

 

I just don't get it. Why no response after good third date, but she responds always after awkward and nervous first date ???

 

 

The only answer that makes sense is another man which is the harsh reality of dating.

[deathandtaxes]

Nope. "Men" which you hardly find in the younger than 30 generation. Have largely just become women. Like you apparently. If I ever texted a woman I would make sure to turn in my man card.

 

You just don't have the balls to actually go up to a chick and ask her up straight out. I am sure you send her some goofy message on Facebook or whatever. There are less and less real mean in America. They are becoming like Europeans a nation full of male chicks.

 

 

 

Not texting a woman. What ****ing year are you living in? It's a ****ing social NORM that people text nowadays. People of ALL ages. Yes, we all ****ing carry cell phones, but we all DON'T WANT TO ****ING BE CALLED AT ANY GODDAMN MINUTE. get it? Go back to your cave, cave man. Troll somewhere else.

 

 

OP - is it possibly she gave you a number that's just good for texting or something? That doesn't receive calls? Sorry man. Just don't get too attached by three dates. I'm with somebody who said you probably scared the **** out of her with planning on taking her to a party to meet friends for date four. Party foul.

[WP4046]

Not texting a woman. What ****ing year are you living in? It's a ****ing social NORM that people text nowadays. People of ALL ages. Yes, we all ****ing carry cell phones, but we all DON'T WANT TO ****ING BE CALLED AT ANY GODDAMN MINUTE. get it? Go back to your cave, cave man. Troll somewhere else.

 

 

OP - is it possibly she gave you a number that's just good for texting or something? That doesn't receive calls? Sorry man. Just don't get too attached by three dates. I'm with somebody who said you probably scared the **** out of her with planning on taking her to a party to meet friends for date four. Party foul.

 

 

Yeah introducing someone to your friends after 3 dates sounds kind of goofy.

[Keenly]

Nope. "Men" which you hardly find in the younger than 30 generation. Have largely just become women. Like you apparently. If I ever texted a woman I would make sure to turn in my man card.

 

You just don't have the balls to actually go up to a chick and ask her up straight out. I am sure you send her some goofy message on Facebook or whatever. There are less and less real mean in America. They are becoming like Europeans a nation full of male chicks.

 

Yeah, and how is that working out for you.

[ae86drift]

Actually is really easy to tell if she likes you or not, if she likes you she will tell you when she is free or might ask you out, but if she don't then she have all kind of excused, my phone dead, can't remember password, I'm busy taking care my grandma, busy taking care of her dog, LOL lame excused.

[Vogeltron]

Yeah, and how is that working out for you.

 

Keenly, in your state of CA. Which I am from, I have done quite well. Lots of chicks whom I actually go up and talk to enjoy the fact I don't facebook/txt/etc. It might annoy them for a while. But there is this old thing you probably never heard of called Chivalry.

 

Seems to go over quite well. Personally I prefer women from the Midwest or South. Even though many people from those areas say all their hospitality etc is fake; I say whatever. Date CA women for years then tell me that ****.

 

I prefer to date from that pool.