At what point will it get any better?

[Monodare1]

Hi guys

 

Hit a pretty low point tonight. Bit of background. I separated from the stbxw in June this year, like us all I've had my ok points and very low points, I get to see my son each weekend and work full time. I was left with no option but to move in with my elderly father who at the start of this month came down with a pretty dodgy illness called uro-sepsis, caused him to pass out in front of a two bar electric fire giving him 2nd degree burns to his ankles (happened while I was at work). So, this Christmas, not only have I been alone and missed my sons third Christmas morning, but I have also had to tend to my elderly father, cleaning out his commode etc.

 

Last Boxing Day I was with my wife and son at her aunts Christmas party without a care in the world, this Boxing Day after the stbxw picked up my son to go to this years party, I was left literally up to my elbows in my 88 year old fathers excrement.

 

I have to ask, at what point does it get better???

[keepontruckin]

Almost nine months here after separation and divorce docs served, and I'm still quite bitter.

 

Stay bitter, my friend, and use it to your advantage.

 

Many try to "fill the void" with someone else, and it just ends up the same.

 

Using bitterness, you will avoid this pattern.

 

The odds are the next significant other will just lie to use you, and then dispose of you when they don't "like you" anymore also... So, I use bitterness to stop this from happening anytime soon.

 

I think in time we all open ourselves up to being used again, but I am thankful that I won't allow it to happen any time soon.

 

Find some hobbies. Surround yourself with material objects. Etc. Buy a dog... they will love you more than any woman ever will!

Edited December 27, 2013 by keepontruckin

[K Os]

Monodare, sorry to hear it's that tough. It's difficult to say anything in response without sounding trite, but I want to give it a shot anyway. It gets better in tiny little ways, and one day at a time, if you make it get better. Part of it is your thoughts. True, mopping up your father is not the picture of an ideal Christmas, but I think that's admirable and caring and shows your strength of character. He can be thankful for you. Christmas is a difficult time when things are painful, because we all remember good ones, and so comparison is inevitable. Just think of it as another Wednesday or Thursday, and it takes a lot of the sting out of it. As we move into ordinary January things tend to seem more normal. And I bet you a tenner next Christmas you'll be in a better place. Keep on keeping on, have a good Hogmanay.

[Steadfast]

Consider it an honor to care for your father. I'm in a similar situation with my mum...my ex once promised she'd always be there for her. Her loss.

 

It's easy to be upbeat when life is carefree. Our test of character is becoming that when pressure mixes with stress and obligation. Want to feel better? After cleaning up, tell your dad how much you love him. Thank him for taking you in. You're also setting a good example for your son. This is when strength and wisdom deepens past the point of consideration. This proves love like words cannot. Living in honor is how you live, not where.

 

Carry on.

[strive]

Consider it an honor to care for your father. I'm in a similar situation with my mum...my ex once promised she'd always be there for her. Her loss.

 

It's easy to be upbeat when life is carefree. Our test of character is becoming that when pressure mixes with stress and obligation. Want to feel better? After cleaning up, tell your dad how much you love him. Thank him for taking you in. You're also setting a good example for your son. This is when strength and wisdom deepens past the point of consideration. This proves love like words cannot. Living in honor is how you live, not where.

 

Carry on.

I'm sorry it's been tough on you. We all know it'll get better but I think it's the waiting that's getting to our heads. Nothing to do but let time do its thing.

 

I agree with steadfast. Show your son you love your father even if you're up to elbows in his excrement. The way you treat your father will be the foundation of how your son will relate to you. Someday it'll be his turn and you'll be grateful you set a good example.