Author insert sad username Posted January 7, 2014 Author Share Posted January 7, 2014 (edited) I have no choice but to remain NC. I don't want to show her any signs of weakness than i already have in the past. Reaching out to her would be a mistake and would only set me back. I've read through so many threads that it's not best to break NC especially when you are still in the process of healing. I miss her so much, She was my best friend. I really don't have any friends anymore but my family. I don't want my family to worry about me and this situation anymore. I try to keep a smile at all times no matter what I feel inside. She's a beautiful girl and there's no doubt on my mind that she has guys pursuing her along with making new friends. I feel next month is going to be the toughest since my birthday is coming up and have this fear that she won't reach out, then I would know that she no longer cares about me. I need to assume she won't contact me ever again but sometimes that hope lingers behind my mind because I believe anything is possible, anything. Edited January 7, 2014 by insert sad username . Link to post Share on other sites
Author insert sad username Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 everyday I get a moment of sadnesss overload just thinking of her. There are so many attractive girls in my class/around campus that i could potentially get to know but I don't want anyone else but her. I think i may need to seek some counseling if I continue to feel like this everyday. this week has not been off to a good start but I gotta keep moving and not stop myself from living. it's good that I started school up again because during xmas break I was in bed all day wondering about what she could be doing. I'm at least glad I have the strength to not blow up her phone with text after text(tempting let me tell you) but I need to keep focusing on myself. I have the opportunity to change some things, pursue lifelong goals, and advance in my studies so i can't let them pass by me as I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself! Link to post Share on other sites
Author insert sad username Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 i feel i need to make a move sooner or later before some other guy does and then it will be too late for us. I don't want to fade away from her life... Link to post Share on other sites
Author insert sad username Posted January 11, 2014 Author Share Posted January 11, 2014 it doesnt seem to get easier at this point and I don't why Link to post Share on other sites
Author insert sad username Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 this week has been going smoothly i must say! i still catch myself thinking about her but I seem to be handling it better and not losing focus on what I need to accomplish. I just wonder if she's in a better, safer place than she was before.... Link to post Share on other sites
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