Re: cheating..for fantasia and anyone else in a pointless relationship

[sparkle]

Last night I had a long conversation with my boyfriend about our relationship and where it was heading..etc etc. And we were asking each other all sorts of questions and one was "what would you do if your partner cheated on you...would you give them a 2nd chance?"

 

And he told me he would kick me to the curb if I did. But he explained that if he gave me a 2nd chance, things wouldn't be the same afterwards, and he used this analogy: He said our relationship and trust in each other is like a piece of string, with both of us holding opposite ends. And if I cheat on him, I betray his trust, and that string is broken in two. Now he could forgive me and take those 2 pieces of string, tie a knot in the middle, and mend our relationship. But eventually..over time...that knot unravels. And so does the relationship.

 

Once you've lost that trust and confidence in your partner that he will be faithful to you, it's extremely difficult to fully regain and most of the time, things will never get back to the way they used to be.

 

Fantasia, you've heard everyone's advice but only you can decide whether to stay with him or not. But if you do, things will never be back to how they used to be in the good ol' days.

 

To anyone else, if you've been cheated on, what makes you stay with that person?? There is someone out there that is more worthy of your heart, why place it in the hands of the very person that broke it in the first place?

 

Ok...I just wanted to get that off my chest, it really makes me sad to see people in meaningless relationships...that aren't productive, that aren't heading anywhere..and I just want to scream GET OUT..PLEASE.

[Tony T]

Yeah, but when you scream "get out" people don't come down on you for feeling that way. What is it about me???

 

I feel exactly the same as you do about the subject.

[MegaB]

Because we are all human and make mistakes. I know I will never cheat on my b/f, but for whatever reason I did but was still madly in love with him, I would want to be forgiven. I would want to be with him. It would change everything in the relationship, but I would want another chance...to at least prove that I could be a better person. And that is why I would forgive my significant other if in case this situation happened and he still wanted to be together. Perhaps I'm an optimistic romantic...but I think forgiveness is the ultimate love. Being pessimistic and unforgiving is the worst thing you can do to others and YOURSELF.

 

So that is why I would still be with a person if they cheated, but came back. If this happened more than once, well, that's a different story, isn't it?

[New at this...]

I agree. With every relationship comes a unique experience. What if one person, in their own unique way, drove the other to different arms? And that person came back realizing that they truly do love the other as a result of faltering. You just can't say forget it and move on because there are more worthy people out there. It just

 

not reality. The reality is that we are humans and have a heart. I believe in second chances, but you have to take into account your own unique relationship. Meaning if the other person was great to you, they have better reasons to receive a second opportunity, especially if they want it sincerely. You know who is worth it and who is not. I'm talking about it happening once and not a whole different affair. Once a person does it twice it can't be considered one mistake anymore. Optimistic romantic...Forgiveness as the ultimate love...depending on the situation,I agree.

Because we are all human and make mistakes. I know I will never cheat on my b/f, but for whatever reason I did but was still madly in love with him, I would want to be forgiven. I would want to be with him. It would change everything in the relationship, but I would want another chance...to at least prove that I could be a better person. And that is why I would forgive my significant other if in case this situation happened and he still wanted to be together. Perhaps I'm an optimistic romantic...but I think forgiveness is the ultimate love. Being pessimistic and unforgiving is the worst thing you can do to others and YOURSELF.

 

So that is why I would still be with a person if they cheated, but came back. If this happened more than once, well, that's a different story, isn't it?

[Rogue]

If the indiscretion happened in an otherwise meaningful relationship, then there would be a chance to move on. The most important factor to consider is whether or not the person will ever cheat again.

 

If there is even the slightest chance the person might cheat again, no matter how remote, then the relationship in most cases should be ended. No excuses.

 

But what if the person cheated ,realized their mistake, and knows beyond all doubt they would never do such a thing again? Then I think, under those circumstances , I would consider keeping the relationship, especially if the person truly cared about you.( But I'd test them first..heheheheh).

[No more games]

Weak!!!!!!!! there is a basic rule that we as humans must learn & that is to be always honest..We some where along the way have developed a wonderful mechnisim of lying when we feel it is of benifit to us or others to do so.

 

If you are the type of person ( male or female ) that needs to sleep with different people, then this should be known upfront. That way nobody is cheated.

 

I dont believe if you are truely a manogomas person who is with the one you love that you would consider ##### anybody else.

 

I have been a coward sometimes & lead someone to believe that I am only with them while I was seeing aomebody else.. why did I do it?

 

1/Because i didnt have the balls to tell this person I was unhappy with them. & leave before it declined to that.

 

2/Because I wanted to be shelfish & keep them there because I did care for them in some way.

 

3/ Because I couldnt deal with watching there heart break.

 

And this is why most people cheat..to supplment something there relationship lacks..or because they lack the balls to leave there dead relationship before starting a new one.

 

Women will usally hide ehind the excuse of it not being physical...so why ##### somebody else then?? why not just talk to them.

 

Really though at the end of the day we have nobody but ourselfs to blame for hanging in dead end relationships!!!

Because we are all human and make mistakes. I know I will never cheat on my b/f, but for whatever reason I did but was still madly in love with him, I would want to be forgiven. I would want to be with him. It would change everything in the relationship, but I would want another chance...to at least prove that I could be a better person. And that is why I would forgive my significant other if in case this situation happened and he still wanted to be together. Perhaps I'm an optimistic romantic...but I think forgiveness is the ultimate love. Being pessimistic and unforgiving is the worst thing you can do to others and YOURSELF.

 

So that is why I would still be with a person if they cheated, but came back. If this happened more than once, well, that's a different story, isn't it?