Sittinginmcds Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Please no preaching or name calling just input and or advice. I was recently married (second for both of us) to a wonderful amazing woman. We have been together for 18 mos both professionals in our mid 40's. When we met she had been using her married name because she wanted to have the same name as her 12 y/o daughter. Once we got engaged she took her maiden name back-I am very Italian with an old school family-brought up that she should go back to her maiden name once I make a commitment. This was not an issue for her she was fine with it so please do not line up to tell me how much you all disagree as this is not an issue. Here is the issue several times while engaged she has "accidentally" referred to her self as Mrs. Ex- Married name. She has now done it while married to me. She has on occasion when speaking of the ex-husband referred to him as "My insert his name". She helped raise his ex's kids from his first marriage. It seems despite her being divorced for 4 years she still views herself as his wife and part of his family. This is beyond the we are family because we have a kid together thing. This is she refers to him and his kids as "we and us" like she is still there in that relationship. She denies having feelings for him but I don't know what to think. Ideas or suggestions???? Link to post Share on other sites
GuyInLimbo Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 Well, in all honesty, when you're with someone for many years and used to calling yourself "whatever", then I think it's only human to make that mistake a few times. And, really, she IS still part of his family, whether you like it or not, because of the kids. If she helped raise his kids, then there's a bond there that she can't just walk away from. You expecting her to do that is ridiculous and somewhat cold, IMO. The only part that sounds weird to me is the "My ******" thing. THAT is odd. Link to post Share on other sites
ChinUp Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 She used that name for a long time so that's probably just accidental and she is part of his family because they share a daughter - not in the same was she was but they will always be connected. If you can let her know it bothers you she can be aware of it but it will probably become less frequent the longer the two of you are together. Link to post Share on other sites
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