ahhhhh! just breaks my heart! Rant.

[emva07]

So I recently had a thing for a guy acquaintance of mine

 

a year ago he met a friend of mine and apparently thought she was the hottest thing to walk this planet so at every thing I saw him he'd mention that she was hot to me or around me (since I was the liaison between her and my group of friends).

 

I kind of hinted at him that I liked him, he quickly put an end to any possibility of it being more than friends so I bit my tongue and things are back to "normal".

 

Thing is I still have to hear about how hot my friend is and it just makes me sad!

 

I can't do anything about it so I will vent on here

[Thegreatestthing]

You will find someone who thinks you're hot he is only one guy in the universe.

If he wants to stay friends there is not much you can do but Either look hotter or pay less attention to him,but why bother when there is someone out there is the universe who thinks your perfect.

[gaius]

I wouldn't put up with a friend who made me feel like that. Friendship over.

[Kate9292]

I wouldn't put up with a friend who made me feel like that. Friendship over.

 

Yeah.

 

He knows you had (and probably expects you still have) hots for him, yet goes out of his way to mention how your friend is so hot? How rude.

[gaius]

Yeah.

 

He knows you had (and probably expects you still have) hots for him, yet goes out of his way to mention how your friend is so hot? How rude.

The sad thing is emva is actually hot but she keeps getting hung up on guys who aren't interested. Must still feel like the ugly duckling from how she was treated when she was younger. That feeling can be hard to break.

[Kate9292]

The sad thing is emva is actually hot but she keeps getting hung up on guys who aren't interested. Must still feel like the ugly duckling from how she was treated when she was younger. That feeling can be hard to break.

 

Awww, that sucks

 

<hugs emva>

[emva07]

aww thanks guys.

 

Thing is I am aware I am a beautiful woman. I might not have been back then but I am now! I know he doesn't mean it in a comparison way but it just hurts that way!

 

Yesterday I went to a happy hour with him and my best friend (also a guy) we will name him Bob and my BF MIke....the hot girl (who was my college roomate and they met ONCE in February we will name Mary)

 

Mike: Omg Mary is so ****in hot

Bob: Yeah, she's gorgeous. Did you see the pictures of her in her Halloween costume???

Mike:yeah man

Bob: Do you think you would have a chance with her?

Bob: Hah! I never even thought I'd have a chance with her. She looks like a super model.

Mike: Yeah totally feel you on that one.

 

WTF!!!!! I am in their face and that's the convo they have???? Meanwhile I walk to the bathroom and a table of about 8 guys all stare at me at the same time

 

Now while Mary is a good looking woman, with big tits and a big ass, she is nothing out of this world but the way they describe her is like they met Kim Kardashian in the flesh.

 

Meanwhile emva over here is feeling like a total dog that two guys are sitting in her face talking about how ANOTHER female is just way too hot that they wouldn't even stand a chance with her. You didn't have a chance with her but you had a chance with me and you blew it to keep pining over this girl who has a bf????

 

I feel that even if at any point Bob were to like me, it's too late, I would forever feel he has settled for me because his type of women don't like him.

 

I want a man who from the first time they saw me and had a conversation with me was blown away and feels the same way they feel about Mary, about me. I am gorgeous and intelligent, someone is bound to feel that way about me too. I might not have the biggest ass and tits, but I'm sure someone will think i'm drop dead gorgeous too People tell me all the time (everyone says Salma Hayeck is my doppelganger, that I look like a character straight out of a latin/middle eastern soap opera), but nobody does anything about it.

 

I just don't understand why they don't realize I'm hot too. Yes I'm your friend but jeez don't have that conversation in my face!

 

Should I even tell them how much it bothers me? I just feel like anything I say will sound whiny and childish. Maybe I can get Mike to tell Bob that he notices it hurts my feelings so stop?

Edited December 28, 2013 by emva07

[gaius]

Saying something probably won't do you any good. I have a friend like you who I know likes me and you kind of get off a little on tormenting them. You'll get better behavior briefly then he'll revert back to his old ways. Forget them and just hang out with the table of 8 guys next time. Or with us instead. I bet you got a few PMs when you had that old avatar up.

[emva07]

That's mean . If I knew a guy liked me and I didn't I wouldn't throw in his face how I like his friend and say around him that my type of guy is something he is not.

 

I might not be his type but that doesn't make me any less sexy.

 

No lol. No PMs.

[gaius]

Must be intimidated since you don't quote a lot. Other posters that is.

 

I wonder if that guy who turned you down dates anyone at all. Usually the biggest loudmouths about how attractive this girl is and that girl is are gay or have other intimacy issues and want to prove how straight they are to other guys by overcompensating. Would explain why he wouldn't date you and raves about the girl he has no chance with.

[Kate9292]

I'm sure someone will think i'm drop dead gorgeous too People tell me all the time (everyone says Salma Hayeck is my doppelganger)

Sounds like you already have an answer.

 

Forget them and just hang out with the table of 8 guys next time.

You know your worth, girl, you don't need this douche nozzles to drag you down. I'd love to see expressions on their face had you joined that table and they saw how those guys react to you as those two did to "Mary".

 

But by then it would be too late for them. Maybe next time they will learn to spot a good thing when it's right in front of them:bunny:

[emva07]

yeah, except that my friend has a BOYFRIEND who she loves, and even though they were in their dating phase the ONE AND ONLY time you saw her for about an hour at my birthday dinner, she kissed him and was romantic to him.

 

Second of all, when I told her about your feelings she said "why the hell would I date him....your friends (females included) are dry and boring, talking to them is like pulling teeth"

 

So yes, it's all about looks for him, sparks my ass. Easy to have sparks with a double D girl who has an ass so big you can stand a cup on it. :laugh:

 

OK, I didn't want to get into race and all but he is a lanky nerdy white guy who has always had a thing for black girls with big tits and ass (openly admits he would never date a white girl) (didn't know where I fell into the mix as I am neither black nor white, lol)....that being said, none of these girls have ever given him the time of day....the ONLY girl he ever dated was a latina for a few months. Now I know people have their preference but I also thought breaking away from that was easily done, I guess not. So I may also be hot and look like a model, but not a black one, lol.

 

So he can stay waiting around for that dream girl, who doesn't really go for his type and throw me to the curve as a "friend" (even though we are acquaintances who yes recently started talking simply because we were at a house party), I will find a guy who is crazy about me. At this point even if he changed his mind, it has been thrown in my face over and over again what his type of woman is....and i'm just not that. Oh well, what can you do? There are billions of men out there whose type is my race and body shape. I am just as curvy, just that my butt isn't AS big and my boobs are Bs

 

But don't you worry LShackers! I have tried on my new years dress and I look amazing in it. If they thought she looked like a model, then I must be Heidi Klum, haha.

 

yes yes, i know to each their own, but I have the right to be hurt/upset about this. This is a rant, not every guy is supposed to like me, but I just think this guy, who knows I'm a good friend to my friends, very giving, I have a nice personality, we have a lot in common, I'm super smart, I'm funny AND I look good? And not only do I not get a chance but I get shoved in my face how hot someone else is??? uncalled for.

 

That guy here. It's not to hurt your feelings it's in hope that you will as a friend help me connect with my crush. A crush/love doesn't involve looks alone, and I only connect like that with certain people. In fact it's rare I connect with anyone.

 

Don't take it personally that I'm not chasing you. It's not because of who you are or how you look. It's just that there isn't a spark there. Even if I tried to love you it would feel empty because we are just friends. You cant just forcibly create those feelings.

 

So please, as much as it hurts you just hook me up with your friend. I know you hate it but don't trample my happiness over jealousy. A true friend who was not jealous would gladly help me connect with my crush. Otherwise, you are intentionally damaging my love life and that is super uncool of you.

Edited December 29, 2013 by emva07

[emva07]

I would buy this if I didn't know of another 5 girls he had this delusion with in the past. Lots of "sparks" going around.

 

It's not about you at all though. It's not about how you look, how you dress, what race you are, how big your boobs are, none of it. Guys get one girl in mind and they become the universe to them while they are crushing on her. During this phase there is nothing you can do to snap them out of it.

 

Bottom line is that don't feel bad about yourself because of this. There does need to be a spark and you can't force it.

[emva07]

This is exactly the reason why guys come on here "oh boo hoo why do nice guys finish last? I can't get a girl"

 

You have perfectly good women in front of you but you're set one one type of girl. I notice nerdy guys do this a lot more. They are set in their mentality of hot that they don't want to break away from it.

 

You have Phoe on here too, gorgeous girl, but her friends are too stupid to realize it and pine over "hot" women to her instead all the time. Probably too busy masturbating after they spend all day gaming to pictures of unrealistically hot looking women dressed in anime costumes.

 

They're loss, but by the time they realize it, she'll be making someone else happy.

Edited December 29, 2013 by emva07

[emva07]

I'm not on here to try to understand why he doesn't like me....it's a rant.

 

I don't disagree with this at all. At the same time if you aren't attracted, you are simply not attracted. This isn't something you can willfully change.

 

I've tried! I've made out with this girl felt her up, etc. In fact the make out session lasted too long IMO and I was bored! Literally, completely bored! Like I'm gay or something.. just waiting for her to stop and hoping it would be after this tongue lashing...

 

You can't force attraction it's something that has to happen naturally. I don't understand it and I'm not trying to rationalize it but my experiences tell me that you cannot just decide to be attracted to somebody.

 

I imagine it's like when someone realizes they are gay and try very hard to be attracted to women since that's what society dictates -- but obviously those attempts are to no avail. You can't change who you are.

[Phoe]

Awww emva, I'm sorry he was so insensitive to you, right in front of your face. I've had it done to me too. It's just plain rude and very unnecessary!

[Scales]

It sounds like you got friendzoned, and maybe your ego is bruised because you look like a model and your friend is a lanky white nerd. If you are convinced of being hot and turn heads, why be hung up on this guy if hes your friend? If you get approached enough and have friends, should be easy. If its not ok for your friend to be hung up of your friend because she has double D's, why is it ok to rant about him not liking you. Are you going to say you've never friendzoned anyone because they simply weren't your type?

 

If you are attractive, you should have options. If you don't its because you are denying them. Move on to the next dude, stop worrying why the guy doesn't like you over your friend. You're confident.

[emva07]

it's perfectly ok for him to be hung up...heck for all I know he has come here and posted a similar story about her

 

And the only guys I get approached by are the guys trying to take me home...excuse me if I don't want to partake in one night stands. And from the rest I just get goggled at and stared at, no proactive behavior. I've known of a few who have liked me but that's it...they tell someone but never do anything about it.

 

And no, I don't "frienzone". Yes I have guys who are friends but I find the whole "we can't date because we are friends" argument the stupidest bull****. If a guy friend asked me out, why the hell not? We get along for a reason right? I wouldn't oppose trying it out, they are all handsome, intelligent young men.

[emva07]

This all went down a year ago? Where are these people at now? He is still obsessed with her appearance???

 

 

lol, yes, the ONE time they saw each other was a year ago (well February) and to this day we will be at a get together or happy hour and there will be a "let's reminisce on Mary's hotness and how she's out of our league" segment. I'd say there's about 10 of us in the group, it's always these same 2 guys that do it.

[Kate9292]

It sounds like you got friendzoned, and maybe your ego is bruised because you look like a model and your friend is a lanky white nerd. If you are convinced of being hot and turn heads, why be hung up on this guy if hes your friend? If you get approached enough and have friends, should be easy. If its not ok for your friend to be hung up of your friend because she has double D's, why is it ok to rant about him not liking you. Are you going to say you've never friendzoned anyone because they simply weren't your type?

 

If you are attractive, you should have options. If you don't its because you are denying them. Move on to the next dude, stop worrying why the guy doesn't like you over your friend. You're confident.

 

Doesn't matter if she got friendzoned.

 

Doesn't matter is she has options.

 

It's still incredibly disrespectful to mention how other girls are sooo hot in front of the one who has/had feelings for you. Especially if you know about those feelings.

[Kate9292]

I am admittedly out of touch, but being that guy I expected my girl who is a friend to help me reach out to my crush. Instead she just refuses because she is jealous. Thanks a lot for being a great friend! I just resent her for it insurmountably.

 

Then thanks for being so selfish you don't account others' feelings in what you do.

 

People who make it only about them, them and what they want make some amazing friends

 

</sarcasm>

[Allumere]

and here is the other thing...those guys see you as a friend. Look I have guy friends that many consider hot, and I guess they are but I don't view them that way...they are MY FRIEND. If they were down or something on themselves I would certainly tell them how attractive they were but again, as I don't see them as anything more than a friend, I would be simply stating a fact. I had an experience in college in which I made a comment to a friend that he was really handsome and it freaked him out. He started acting all weird and when I called him on it he thought I was interested in something. Nope, not in the least. So i learned my lesson on that one.

[emva07]

I realize why this might rub you the wrong way, but I would do it for someone if the shoe was on the other foot. Especially knowing I have a hard time meeting women.. but again I am probably just completely out of touch.

 

not if you had feelings for this friend....if the shoe were on the other foot, and you liked a girl and she KNEW and the girl asked YOU to hook her up with one of your friends you'd feel she is insensitive too. If she wants your friend so bad, she can do her own work....not use a guy she knew had feelings for her as the middle man.

 

TBH I think you are insensitive for not giving a damn about her feelings for YOU. You should respect why she was reluctant to hook you up with someone and done things yourself.

 

I understand you were hurt...but in my case Mary has a boyfriend, is NOT interested in him. If he were to have come up to me and told me to hook him up with Mary and Mary said yes, then by all means, with the pain in my heart I would've.

Edited December 30, 2013 by emva07

[Thegreatestthing]

Exactly! I'm shocked, jock like guys message me a lot,good looking guys,but I love interesting looking geek ones who don't write,I tested this and they are all writing to the 11s and 12s en mass just completely delusional.

 

This is exactly the reason why guys come on here "oh boo hoo why do nice guys finish last? I can't get a girl"

 

You have perfectly good women in front of you but you're set one one type of girl. I notice nerdy guys do this a lot more. They are set in their mentality of hot that they don't want to break away from it.

 

You have Phoe on here too, gorgeous girl, but her friends are too stupid to realize it and pine over "hot" women to her instead all the time. Probably too busy masturbating after they spend all day gaming to pictures of unrealistically hot looking women dressed in anime costumes.

 

They're loss, but by the time they realize it, she'll be making someone else happy.

[Sand Man Dan]

I would buy this if I didn't know of another 5 girls he had this delusion with in the past. Lots of "sparks" going around.

 

Em,

 

These guys you describe don't seem like they are very socially adept. In fact they sound very socially inept. Lanky white nerdy guy who says he only dates black women? That's close minded and very red-Flaggy.

 

If you're hot, men will notice it. I would notice it. Your friends more or less just sound very stupid and inexperienced. They sound disrespectful.

 

Furthermore, you need to examine why you need their approval when they themselves are below your league? You want them to like you? Why, if they are such disrespectful chauvinists?