Girlfriend is pregnant. I really don't want it

[Hope Shimmers]

I have experienced withdrawals, I made a post about it and another poster said I was sounding sorry for myself. I didn't want it to turn into "Rude's pity party" so I've kept it off here.

 

If you were experiencing the physical withdrawals that would associate with the drug use you stated, then you would not be posting on a forum during that time.

 

But as to what you said, apparently the post(s) you referred to were deleted, because they are no longer there and there is no delay in your posts in this thread from when you said you were going to stop, until the next day when you stopped.

 

Seems I have touched a nerve - sorry. I only mentioned a few things that seemed odd to me in your thread. There were others but I won't mention them.

 

Again, good luck.

[whichwayisup]

Before anyone asks, no I don't want to go to rehab. Rehab is for people who are too weak to do it themselves.

Actually, the strongest ask for help. The strongest fight it and don't put themselves in situations where they might slip up. Respectfully, you're being stubborn by avoiding going to rehab. You don't have the tools or the knowledge to fight this addiction on your own.

 

I've got a baby I love that makes me want to get better. This girl is the only one I care about but myself....

So you lock yourself up when you're not with your baby. That's not living life, that's hiding and running from life.

[scorpio1978]

I just finally read this entire thread. Wow, this is interesting for sure.

 

So to make the dates work out, you had sex with her pretty much right after the infidelity incident. I have to ask if you are absolutely sure about the paternity results, because getting pregnant by a condom with holes in it is fairly hard to accomplish. Unless the holes are big enough to let a lot of liquid/semen seep out, and then it would be reasonably easy to see or feel the holes or for the condom to rip. If the holes are pin-sized, you have to squeeze the condom quite hard to get any semen or liquid out of those holes (try it). Yes, sperm are microscopic and it's POSSIBLE but it's not particularly likely - just wanted to point out to be sure the testing was absolute.

 

I'm also really surprised that they hospitalized her only for saying she was going to commit suicide during a stressful conversation. It's actually fairly hard to get admitted for suicide prevention reasons, even among people who have made an attempt and have a clear plan (usually the evaluation weeds out the others). I'm even more surprised that they asked you questions that would fall under her confidentiality rights - I have never seen that happen. And then they asked you if you abused her? Again, have never seen anything like that.

 

I guess there were just a few things about this thread that really bothered me. I'll keep it factual because I don't want to make accusations since obviously I don't know what happened from my position. But some of the things you said just seem odd. For example, your being able to hold her shortly after birth. You said she was very ill and that's the reason, but then I would imagine she was on a ventilator, umbilical lines, and all kinds of monitoring devices. When I worked in the NICU that just wasn't possible - simply had to wait until the baby was in a better situation although holding the hands/feet and touching were encouraged. (That reminds me too - you said a nurse told you that it's damaging to touch sick people? I can't imagine what nurse would EVER say that).

 

And then you mentioned a couple of times that right after you brought her home (when - given her prematurity - she was essentially not even a newborn yet) that she was 'giggling' and that when you played with her feet she pushed your hands away and giggled. Never in my life have I seen a newborn do that. Wow...

 

The most amazing thing to me is that an actual medical doctor would prescribe your ex a medication and then tell her to stop breastfeeding for "a week or two". Being uninformed is one thing, but that is way beyond "uninformed". Have never seen an MD who did not understand the basics of breast feeding to the point of not knowing that stopping breastfeeding for a week or two and then re-starting would not be possible. Even more baffling is, why would anyone say to only stop for 1-2 weeks for a medication that was ongoing? What would be the point in only stopping for 1-2 weeks? Makes zero sense and I just can't believe a physician would say that - or maybe there was some misunderstanding somewhere. Most physicians who are not EXTREMELY familiar with medications in pregnant and lactating women will not prescribe them at all, for legal reasons, and refer to an ob/gyn.

 

And your quitting drugs just overnight like that with only willpower after admitting that you had used since high school and that it was much worse lately - I can't imagine doing that. Most people need some kind of program to accomplish that and would have withdrawal (physical) symptoms that could be very severe.

 

Anyway, those are just a few of the things that seem really strange to me. I suppose I could have misunderstood all of it. If that is the case, I really hope that this little girl flourishes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You didn't misunderstand any of this. I agree with everything you said and called the OP out on this a long time ago. I was much more aggressive in my approach and directly stated that I felt this was all a lie and we were being strung along here. I too am a medical professional and was suspicious at the holding of the baby right after birth. Unfortunately, my post was erased because I wasn't as tactful as you. I just hate when people lie and live a fake life behind a computer. I wished that this wasn't the case and continue to do so. I hope I am wrong and RudeBoy, you are telling the truth, but the things you say make no sense. Maybe you can see from an outsider's perspective exactly why. I continue to read this thread off and on because I find it interesting. It's like a soap opera and I am looking for that one post that makes sense so I can apologize to RudeBoy for being suspicious. But I haven't seen it yet.

[SpiralOut]

You didn't misunderstand any of this. I agree with everything you said and called the OP out on this a long time ago. I was much more aggressive in my approach and directly stated that I felt this was all a lie and we were being strung along here. I too am a medical professional and was suspicious at the holding of the baby right after birth. Unfortunately, my post was erased because I wasn't as tactful as you. I just hate when people lie and live a fake life behind a computer. I wished that this wasn't the case and continue to do so. I hope I am wrong and RudeBoy, you are telling the truth, but the things you say make no sense. Maybe you can see from an outsider's perspective exactly why. I continue to read this thread off and on because I find it interesting. It's like a soap opera and I am looking for that one post that makes sense so I can apologize to RudeBoy for being suspicious. But I haven't seen it yet.

 

I have been thinking the same thing. I can read people pretty well based on the way that they write. Something about this thread doesn't seem right to me, but I'm hoping that I'm wrong.

Edited August 21, 2014 by SpiralOut

[Rude boy]

I'm sorry you all feel that I'm lying to you... I'm not. I wish this wasn't my life. I hate this every second of every day.

 

Our newest development, apparently she's been putting pictures of me on Facebook and saying things about her boyfriend (me). Which no, I don't have a girlfriend and there's not anyone in my life but I don't want to lead people on.

 

I love this woman. She's the mother of my child and I still want to be with her but I can't deal with the cheating...

 

Am I a bad guy for feeling this way? I mean this doesn't feel normal.

[CC12]

For example, your being able to hold her shortly after birth. You said she was very ill and that's the reason, but then I would imagine she was on a ventilator, umbilical lines, and all kinds of monitoring devices.

 

Rudeboy, can you explain this?

 

...my child; who I would never use drugs around.

 

Never, really? You told the thread that you drank so much alcohol around her that you couldn't drive yourself home.

 

I have experienced withdrawals, I made a post about it and another poster said I was sounding sorry for myself. I didn't want it to turn into "Rude's pity party" so I've kept it off here.

 

You've started two other threads that I found which had to do with your substance abuse, and not a single person who replied were in any way rude to you. You also never posted again in those threads apart from your original postings. If you mentioned your withdrawals in this thread or the thread about your abused mother, I'm sure there was more support than negative comments. You seem to have a number of posters who are fervently supportive of you, and they do a pretty good job of shutting down any critics of yours or people who question your honesty.

 

 

 

Side note:

 

Rehab is for people who are too weak to do it themselves.

 

This is extremely offensive. I hope you, as an addict who apparently quit cold turkey after being called out on an internet forum, can rethink your opinion on this. Or at least never express this opinion out loud ever again.

[whichwayisup]

I'm sorry you all feel that I'm lying to you... I'm not. I wish this wasn't my life. I hate this every second of every day.

 

Our newest development, apparently she's been putting pictures of me on Facebook and saying things about her boyfriend (me). Which no, I don't have a girlfriend and there's not anyone in my life but I don't want to lead people on.

 

I love this woman. She's the mother of my child and I still want to be with her but I can't deal with the cheating...

 

Am I a bad guy for feeling this way? I mean this doesn't feel normal.

 

Is she actually cheating on you again? Or are you talking about the past?

 

Hey guys, give it a rest. Stop accusing Rude of making up stuff. if you can't objectively help him or offer advice and don't believe his life story, then don't reply on his thread.

[scorpio1978]

Rudeboy, can you explain this?

 

 

 

Never, really? You told the thread that you drank so much alcohol around her that you couldn't drive yourself home.

 

 

 

You've started two other threads that I found which had to do with your substance abuse, and not a single person who replied were in any way rude to you. You also never posted again in those threads apart from your original postings. If you mentioned your withdrawals in this thread or the thread about your abused mother, I'm sure there was more support than negative comments. You seem to have a number of posters who are fervently supportive of you, and they do a pretty good job of shutting down any critics of yours or people who question your honesty.

 

 

 

Side note:

 

 

 

This is extremely offensive. I hope you, as an addict who apparently quit cold turkey after being called out on an internet forum, can rethink your opinion on this. Or at least never express this opinion out loud ever again.

 

 

 

Whenever you call him/her/whoever this is out on anything you get a response of this individual playing dumb. It's a very easy way to dismiss the critics and keep this thread moving. Or there is a deflection. For instance, I stated that there is no way in the world that a baby supposedly born 2 months premature would not be whisked away to the NICU immediately upon birth. RB said that he was allowed to hold the baby right away because they thought the baby was going to die and not make it. Really? since when are hospitals in the habit of saying "Oh, well, your baby probably won't make it, so you can hold her instead of us taking her and putting her in an incubator and doing everything we can to save her"? No parent of a child born two months premature gets to hold their baby right away or even several days later. Sometimes not for weeks. What was RB's response to the inquiry? He turned it around on me and said "What would you do if you thought your baby was going to die? Not hold it?". See.. a deflection.

 

 

Also, there was a discussion about the baby having an alleged heart problem and needing surgery maybe, but when I brought up the fact that anatomy scans are conducted while the baby is in utero to look at the vital organs (heart included), his response was "maybe I wasn't listening when my ex said there may be something wrong" or "what do I know?". Funny, since I called him out, that heart problem was never mentioned again.

 

 

Staunch supporters of this poster are fine, but let's be realistic here, things are not adding up and haven't for quite some time. There are over 26,000 views of this thread and over 500 posts from people giving encouragement and advice. I was one of them in the beginning. So, it's time to face the facts here and say that RB got what he wanted- attention. He got support from hundreds of posts. And when things dwindle and there aren't many posts coming in, another egregious situation in his life is created to keep people hooked.

 

 

Come on, people.

[scorpio1978]

Side note, I have been accused in the past of trying to tear this poster down by directly calling BS and I was told that it wasn't "my place" to say such a thing in a public forum. So, for those of you who felt this way in the past, perhaps recognize that I am simply laying out the facts and the direct things that have happened. Clearly, I am not the only one here now that thinks things just are not what they seem....

[pink_sugar]

I agree with all of you above. IMO, it's time to close this thread. It was originally about RB not wanting his child and since that has long been resolved, I think it is time to close this thread and if RB wants to create another topic solely on whether or not he wants to overcome this infidelity, he should do so. It's still a major problem and honestly that is a sign he should move on.