Heatemyheart89 Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) So this may sound ridiculous. But I still think about my ex from 4 years ago. He strung me along for a while after we broke up but I could have ended that. I am on 5 months no contact(contact since we broke up was sporadic and mostly initiated by him) I have had relationships since him but I find myself realizing that I havn't properly liked anyone since him. Occasionally I torture myself looking at his facebook and the girl he likes. I cannot believe I still think about this guy. He has even moved to the other side of the world for a year and told me he would never get back with me. Ever. Will this ever end? Can I forget him for good. I feel so disappointed with myself for being stuck in this stupid pattern.This is the only person I have been like this with. Boy I wish I had stuck with the no contact when he dumped me Edited December 28, 2013 by Heatemyheart89 Link to post Share on other sites
livingnightmare Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 Wish I new the answer, 4 yrs for me 2 was a traumatic break, my first and only love and mother of my child, have to stay in contact all the time :-/ really wish these feelings would end. They went and have now come back with vengeance, Feel like Im choking, suffocating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heatemyheart89 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Share Posted December 28, 2013 Oh no I am so sorry I hope we can both get peace. Link to post Share on other sites
livingnightmare Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 I hope you get peace 2, its taking over my life at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 The first step is realizing that he's just not worth it. I don't know your entire history with this guy, but surely he can't be that great if he dumped you and then strung you along. Why do you care that some loser likes another girl? Most likely he's not really any better than the guys you've dated since. You need to break that spell of feeling that he's so desirable. The other step is to build a life that you can be happy with now. People will always find reasons to pine for he past if they're not happy with their current life. Usually the past isn't as great as they've made it out to be in their heads, but they'll remember the happier moments and constantly miss those. You need to be happy with your life now. That takes appreciating the things you currently have. Focus on the positive. Stay healthy. If you're feeling that you miss him because you're lonely, then fill up your life with other people. It doesn't have to be another relationship, but just being in contact with friends and family can help. If they don't have many friends in your life, then try to get involved in hobbies that will help you meet people. If you continue to feel depressed, then it could be worthwhile to see a therapist as well. Good luck! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 28, 2013 Share Posted December 28, 2013 No, the "first step" is to separate the two entities which are "him", and "your emotional investment IN him". Recognize that it was A-OK that you did so much, and felt so much, regarding making HIS life your life back in the day. Recognize that your efforts were meaningful, and healthy and that your will and ability for having made them assures that you have what it takes to succeed relationship-wise. Then observe the individual that is him... and observe that his having dumped you gives a strong hint that HE himself is not good enough to recognize all that you were, and would have been for him. It is most likely, in the present, that you are looking back and feeling the elements of how content you were back when you were investing yourself IN him. He the individual is only a tiny side-plot to the core appeal that you reminisce about. Link to post Share on other sites
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