brokenhearted9 Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Hey all, So I went to New years with my ex of 9 months and now we're dating and it's pretty much like we're boyfriend and girlfriend again. In my earlier post I think people misunderstood about the whole family thing. He had always wanted to meet my family but I would never let him and so he felt that I was ashamed of him and I think he acted out. When Christmas came I decided what the heck I should just bring him along and things were good. Now since he has met my family he says he is more at peace because he knows where I am coming from. we're dating and I am trying to play it cool like he can date others and if he finds someone better then me I will be happy knowing he is happy. I myself have been dating a bit but my heart is still with him. Everytime I go out with anyone even someone better I want to be with my ex. He on the other hand has not really gone out and dated other women. he has been busy fixing up his house and says he doesn't have the desire or time to date other women. He had once asked me if I want us to be boyfriend or girlfriend again but I tried to play it cool and say I want us just to date and I am hoping he will do something super romantic and ask for me back. He has taken me on ski trips and planned evenings at dinner just for us and nights out but I guess that's just normal stuff ( am I taking him and all he does for granted? ) well Today I went on a date with a guy and felt really guilty and called my boyfriend at 2 in the morning confessing and feeling really guilty. He was like if I have to do that in order to know he is the one for me then do it and he didn't act jeolous or anything. Does that mean he doesn't love me and doesn't care? I was trying to put myself in his shoes and tried to see how I would feel if he dated some other girl and I felt hurt and devastated so I want to tell him that but when I did he said he gets freebie dates because I have been on dates. I know he was kind of kidding but I am lost. I want him to figure out if he wants me and wants to make a true commitment or not. I couldn't stand it if we officially got back together and he cheated or anything. Should I have a talk with him and ask him if he thinks he can be exclusive or will that scare him away? Someones please help me figure this out. what would you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 I think he has figured out that he wants you. I think he is letting you figure out if you want him for sure. Not all guys are inconsiderate dogs. In fact there are really only a few of those guys out there, they just get passed around alot because no one wants them around for long. He sounds like a good guy and is giving you the time to really decide if you want him or not. The choice is yours to make. If you say let's be exclusive, he will most likely accept and not be looking to cash in his "freebie dates". Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 He had once asked me if I want us to be boyfriend or girlfriend again but I tried to play it cool and say I want us just to date and I am hoping he will do something super romantic and ask for me back. Don't play games like that - if you want him, stop dating other people and let him know that you are ready to be exclusive with him. He probably isn't asking because he is playing it safe. He has taken me on ski trips and planned evenings at dinner just for us and nights out but I guess that's just normal stuff ( am I taking him and all he does for granted? ) Normal? That's stuff that guys do for their girlfriends. Yes, you are taking it for granted. He is showing you his intent by doing these things for you. Today I went on a date with a guy and felt really guilty and called my boyfriend at 2 in the morning confessing and feeling really guilty. He was like if I have to do that in order to know he is the one for me then do it and he didn't act jeolous or anything. Does that mean he doesn't love me and doesn't care? He is protecting his heart and accommodating your apparently wishy-washy behavior because he doesn't want to run you off - In your eyes, you are using the whole 'dating other people thing' to manipulate him into being the one to express serious content. To him, you are some girl that he wants to be with but is seeing other guys. He thinks that if you are seeing other guys, its because you want to and he doesn't want to stand in the way of that. I want him to figure out if he wants me and wants to make a true commitment or not. Then quit dating other people. The last person I would consider committing myself to would be someone who is continuing to date other people. Stop your dating, and tell him that you want to see him exclusively. You may not realize it but the ball is in your court - you have to be the one to tell him (and show him) that you are ready. Should I have a talk with him and ask him if he thinks he can be exclusive or will that scare him away? Just talk to him. If he's not seeing other people, he's met your family, and he's planning and taking you on extravagant dates like that - then that's some very good odds in your favor. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 That's what I like about you Lucrezia, your ability to use four times as many words to sum up what I said shortly before that Don't use your mafia connections to have me whacked, it was just a joke. Link to post Share on other sites
Universe Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Not all guys are inconsiderate dogs. In fact there are really only a few of those guys out there, they just get passed around alot because no one wants them around for long. Awesome. This is so true. I never thought of it that way. So true. I'm going to quote you on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Coolness, I am being quoted. I feel special, don't ruin this moment for me. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted January 9, 2005 Share Posted January 9, 2005 damn. i don'r know the circumstances of your breakup, but it sounds like you've got one hell of a man if he's willing to let you hang out w/ other guys while he takes you skiing. where can i get one of those? seriously, if you don't want to date others just stop. and loved the pass around thing devil. so true. my nightmar exes can't keep women to save their lives because once they get to know who they really are they're out. the good exes all sit around and think about me. just kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
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