Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted January 7, 2005 Author Share Posted January 7, 2005 thanx weird....very insightful. i don't get ex's either. I mean we had such a horrible relationship ( well at least I did). He was the "pants wearer" so i was inferior. My new guy didn't talk to me. I left him a message saying that this is stupid to throw what we have away. I said that if he didn't call me back when he got this message......I'd get the hint. He didn't call....i got the hint. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 Just curious, how long after the breakup did you start dating again? Been having a problem with my ex-fiance (she dumped me) and I started dating again in less than a week. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted January 7, 2005 Author Share Posted January 7, 2005 I started dating about 2 months after the break up. But for about a month we were trying to work things out. And i just said i dont want to work things out b/c i know that we were going ot be in the same boat 2 months down the line. Then I just dropped him for another guy. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 Originally posted by Weird Blind Otter, So your friend wants to go beat the crap out of your ex but he just let your ex beat on his ass in your house? I sure hope not and hope your ex incapacitated him because if a guy jumped on me and started hitting me you sure as hell can bet I'd be hitting back. I also doubt he would have killed your friend had your dog not stepped in. I would like to think that you could have got enough strength (after being thrown in the wall) to grab something and knock your ex out before he killed someone in front of you. Hell I've tried to fight back at my ex plenty of times. Hard to knock out someone high on crack, who has about 120lbs. and is over a foot taller than you. I can't reach his head to knock him out. My friend said that he would never fight someone inside my house. My ex chested up to him out in the front yard, to try and fight, and they both started taking their shirts off when the cop cars came into my neighborhood and my ex bolted. My advice was based on advice from my victim advocate. If he beats up my ex, his assault charge gets thrown out....or my friend T could get an assault charge. Better to leave it alone and let the authorities handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
RowanRavyn Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 I feel for you hun. Abusive ex's are such a curse! Usually restraining orders are free. I didn't have to pay for mine. It covered me, my children, my mother, and my brother as well. EVEN WITH THAT PIECE OF PAPER YOU STILL HAVE TO BE SMART. They are useless if you break them. It will be a forced NC. Don't speak to him, acknowledge him or anything. Keep that journal. If he shows up don't threaten to call the police, JUST DO IT. For me in the end it wasn't enough to keep him at bay, but it left a nice paper trail for the cops to follow, while I got the hell out of Dodge. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted January 7, 2005 Share Posted January 7, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Thanx guys...........I'm not sure what I'm gonna do yet.........he called me and left me a message saying that he's never going to call me again.....I told him that that he needs to fix things with me and this guy. He said that he didn't do any wrong( he didn't say anything wrong or bad to him). But he didn't have to. if a 300lb man flags you down.......I'd **** my pants. He love that he screwed things up with me and him. Now i have to try to straighten things out with him. i think its useless tho. Excess baggage. Yeah you might remember my boyfriend's problems with his psycho ex girlfriend...she used to call all the time and say that she wouldn't call again...okay why would you call again to say that you're NOT going to call again? It doesn't make sense. Don't believe this guy, don't be his friend, and for god's sake don't tell him that you're "pulling into your driveway right now" it gives him way too much opportunity to stalk you. What were you doing talking to the ex while you were out with the new guy anyway? That would be such a huge red flag for me, as the new love interest. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 I sympathize with you all in regards to having ex's stalk both you and your current interests. I was dating a woman for a year until she recently broke up with me and over that year her ex, who she had been involved with her for four years prior to myself, continually harrassed us both emotionally and physically. Believe it when I tell you that is quite a scarey situation. This guy went from bad to worse, that being constantly calling her and ranting and raving with threats that he would kill me to stalking her house at all times of the night. It went so far as he following her to my home and subsequently at different times glueing my doorlocks shut twice and pouring paint thinner all over the hood and roof of my truck (thousands in damage) and would continually bang on my door at the wee hours of the morning and then run away. Each time I called the police and had them come out, he would be gone from the scence of the crime. The police basically said to keep a log of the incidents to build a case yet unforunately without positively seeing him commit the crime they could do nothing else. It scares me as all of this guy's aggression is directed towards me and not to her as if he blames me for their breakup.......Crazy thing is the my ex broke up with me recently because she realized that she had not fully gotten over her past. What needs to be clarified I screamed? She for some reason or another takes these acts of aggression as flattering I think and for all I know she is back with him. I worry as she still thinks that the aggression that he showed to me would never be directed to her as he "loves and cherishes her" she stated. I politely told her that she is kidding herself and that at one point in time in the future he will show his true colors again. I should have realized that she was not over him and that I should have run the first minute I sensed she did not share the same concern over him that I did. She continually pleaded with me not to ruin him by going to the police and that she took responsiblility for the man that he has become by breaking his heart. I should not have let my heart go as far as it did for her. Amazing that I took the brunt of his aggression time and time again and did not walk away from her because I had significant feelings for her yet she was able to walk away from me free as a bird. I am the one heartbroken and crushed! Her last email to me was that I was so wonderful of a guy, in fact her ideal partner in her mind, yet she realizes that her mind can't dictate how her heart should feel. Link to post Share on other sites
crisp Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 I am so sorry to hear this. IT is horrible. My sister has a crazy ex who started threaterning that he's break the ankles of her future bf... one month later he threaterned to kill her and himself afterwards. Well, my mom called his dad and then she let my dad take over. LEt's just say that some little things have a HUGE impact and we wouldn't even know it. Talk to his friends and ask them to calm him down, maybe even tlak some sense into him. He must be rational, otherwise you wouldn't have dated him. And of course, POLICE. I just wanted to point out the fact that other than the police, there may be other things he might be vulnerable to. As far as your date goes... sorry, he's not worth the while. You shouldn't even be calling him. This can happen to practically anyone, it's not your fault not can you control it. If he choose to bail out, FINE! Some guy he is!!! Link to post Share on other sites
crisp Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 A bit more info about my sis's ex: The little weesel is 22, he lives in another town than his parents do and after my parents talked to his, he stopped all contact. Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Next time you speak with him, tell him he's a nut and to leave you alone. If he doesn't call the cops. This guy is nuts! Link to post Share on other sites
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 UPDATE!!!!!!! I changed my phone number and got the restraining order! It feels like a 300 lb man was just lifted off of my shoulder.........the irony is......thats exactly it(ex was 300lbs) !. I have closure, freedom and the ability to go out with anyone and not worry if my ex i watching from a building across the street! Thanx for all the support!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
on the edge Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue UPDATE!!!!!!! I changed my phone number and got the restraining order! It feels like a 300 lb man was just lifted off of my shoulder.........the irony is......thats exactly it(ex was 300lbs) !. I have closure, freedom and the ability to go out with anyone and not worry if my ex i watching from a building across the street! Thanx for all the support!!!!! that's great!!! go out and have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 glad you're happy now. Just keep your wits about you. Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 You all should be careful though! Just because you got a restraining order does not mean that your ex will leave you alone. Getting a restraining order just might make him more upset and dillusional. Remember that he is not sane at the moment and is capable of just about anything. Certainly do not mean to scare you yet I want to make sure you still take some precautions. Link to post Share on other sites
theone44 Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Is everyone sitting down? OK, so i have been dating this fella. Nice fella. Easy going, great to talk to, just absolutely wonderful. My ex is having a hard time dealing with the fact that i have moved on. So i went on a date last night and my ex kept calling me telling me to call him when i got home. 3 calls later i told him that i was pulling up to my house as we speak. So i was with my date and we did you good night kiss and that was that...............so i thought! I call my ex when i get into the house and he says "i cant talk to you right now. I'm shaking, I can't drive, I cant talk to you right now"...click I call him back (ya know I'm worried) He says again" I cant talk to you"...click Now I'm really worried. So i call him back and he says "I saw you " "You saw me what" He said he was waiting in front of my house (unknown car) for me to get home from my date. He saw me and my date make out. So right about now I am absolutely livid.LIVID!!!!!!!!! He said that he didn't believe that i had found someone new. He keeps begging me and begging me to go back with him. I keep trying to tell him that its over and that i dont love him anymore. (i hate seeing men beg) I'm not done yet! So he calls me about 15 minutes later. He said that he just had a chat with my date........................WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You had a chat wit him? About WHAT!?!?!? He said the whole 9...you hurt her I'll break our legs. Now since this kid is very cool calm and collected, he got scared. Called me and said that this is weird and that he can't deal with psycho EX boyfriends hunting him how to talk to him. And now he never want to see me again. Are you freakin kidding me?!?!?!?! So i haven't talk to my ex, except to tell him that i hope he rots in hell. I physically hate him with every fiber of my being. I was truly happy with this new guy and he couldn't deal with it. The funny part is.....HE BROKE UP WITH ME!!!!!!! What should i do?!?!?! yeah this guy is obsess with you. now he see that another man want you ..men are like that when they see another man want the woman that they use to date. Get yourself one of those video camera,and video him stalking you at your house. stalking is a serious crime now. talk to your neighbor,family or friends about the situation too. yes about the restainting order ,go and file it quickly. then go down to nearest pawn shop and get yourself a 357 or any gun....as soon as this man break down your door or window blow this sucker away. " God" and the law give man or woman the right to protect themselves from crazy people. you know we got a bunch of these people walking around, that why the world is soooooooooo mess these days. "Remember you have the right to live a good life without living in fear from some nut. Link to post Share on other sites
theone44 Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter You should have called the cops last night, and made a report then. If not, do it today or it will be difficult to get the restraining order. This **** is not to be played with. I didn't listen to everyone, and didn't get the restraining order. A few weeks ago, my ex broke down my front door, threw me across the room, and ran into the living room. I had a male friend over at my house. He tried to kill my friend with his bare hands, strangling him with one hand and punching him in the head with the other. My pitbull, luckily, attacked my ex and dragged him off my male friend. If my dog hadn't been the good protector that he is, my friend would be dead. Now, my ex is going to trial in february, facing prison time for home invasion and assault. DO NOT PLAY AROUND. GO to the police, make a report. It will help with the restraining order. Go do it before he tries anything worse. He is obsessed. Did your pitbull bite this nut in the ass.... i know that the first place a bull will attack . boy good dog. i am thinking about getting me one myself. they are the best protecting a person can have..... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by theone44 Did your pitbull bite this nut in the ass.... i know that the first place a bull will attack . boy good dog. i am thinking about getting me one myself. they are the best protecting a person can have..... He is GREAT. Actually, he chomped on the arm my ex was punching my friend with, shook his head and drew blood, and then chomped on the arm my ex was strangling my friend with and drew blood again and dragged a 230 lbs. man across the room. He knew exactly who to attack, and he controlled himself, staying on guard and standing between me and my ex with his ridge up the whole time, growling every time my ex even made a move. I have to say, having a large dog for protection if you are a woman is a very important thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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