Should I ask her out?

[bongo]

I met this girl a few weeks ago and I'm thinking about asking her out. I think she is a very nice and attractive person. Even though I don't know her all that well, but I sort of know that she is not the one for me. But I want to keep an open mind and ask her out anyway to see if there might be a potential for us.

 

The question is if I go out with her, and we have fun together but there is still no sparks, is it wrong to continue going out with her until the potential right person comes along? I know some people would do that, where is the line when it becomes wrong? If I continue to go out with her, should I tell her if I don't feel anything for her?

 

What about dating exclusively, if we are not at that point yet, is it okay to not say anything?

[ashesmum]

If you decide (sounds like you have already) she's not the one for you, you need to tell her that. You guys can still go out as friends. But to waste her time thinking she's got someone when you're just waiting for better is selfish and wrong. So see how it goes and have a good thought of how you want it to go. Then you can let her in on your decision.

I met this girl a few weeks ago and I'm thinking about asking her out. I think she is a very nice and attractive person. Even though I don't know her all that well, but I sort of know that she is not the one for me. But I want to keep an open mind and ask her out anyway to see if there might be a potential for us. The question is if I go out with her, and we have fun together but there is still no sparks, is it wrong to continue going out with her until the potential right person comes along? I know some people would do that, where is the line when it becomes wrong? If I continue to go out with her, should I tell her if I don't feel anything for her? What about dating exclusively, if we are not at that point yet, is it okay to not say anything?

[Ed]

By all means, ask the girl to go out with you. As you said, you never know what may develop. Play it by ear and see what happens.

 

Just because you are going out with her does not mean you cannot go out with other girls. This is strictly a personal preference as well as a timing issue. For instance, some men and women, prefer not to date more than one person at a time, even if it is not an agreed exclusive dating situation. There may also be times that you are dating only one person because (maybe as in your case) there are no other potential prospects right now.

 

If you know there is nothing there for her, you can just be friends (no kissing and holding hands and stuff), but then I would not call it "dating".

 

There is no such thing as an exclusive dating situation unless both parties have talked about it and agreed upon it. So, it is OK to not say anything until one person or the other wants the relationship to go exclusive. At that time, you or she, will have to decide if it is worth being exclusive of others.

[WGirl]

There isn't any harm in going out on dates. If things start to heat up, I think you need to tell her what direction the relationship is going in if you already know she isn't the one for you. I think you need to be fair. Most women aren't looking for "Mr. Right now".

 

If you show affection and attention, she could start thinking the relationship is more serious than it is. It isn't a nice feeling when you are serious about someone and then find out they aren't as serious about you. There are some women who are just looking for a fling. It depends on her.

If you decide (sounds like you have already) she's not the one for you, you need to tell her that. You guys can still go out as friends. But to waste her time thinking she's got someone when you're just waiting for better is selfish and wrong. So see how it goes and have a good thought of how you want it to go. Then you can let her in on your decision.