Friendzoned before meeting on POF?

[irc333]

Interesting, apparently this local woman (very local) in this rural area of mine...rather attractive had recently placed a dating profile. She mentioned she's been on the site before, took a break, and came back again.

 

She placed a major emphasis on how romantic she is in her profile, but she responds to my email, but says she's been so busy with her home repairs lately and other "goings on" in her life that she hasn't been in a "romantic frame of mind" these days. Claims to be in her "own little world" right now, but at this point is open to finding a circle of friends or getting started a network of friends in her area.

 

I'm thinking, "Heh, good luck with that, I've lived her all my life and have yet to have the ability to start a network of friends in the boonies, good thing I got Meetup events an hour away"

 

Funny thing, I mentioned how I do attend Meetup events in Orlando as how where I live there's not even Meetup groups.

 

Anyhow she goes on to say, "If you're okay with that, we'll move on to see how we can go about corresponding".

 

I thought "What the heck, I'll go along with it like most men do, play 'the game', play it be ear to see if it becomes more...throw out some flirts and stuff and see what happens".

 

Yeah, some women aren't particularly turned on by men who "pose in the guise of a 'friendship' in hopes it'll turn into something else...but...she's on a dating site....so she's kind of got a label of "single and looking" anyhow. LOL

 

If she has a beef about me putting the moves on her, I would say, "Hey, you're on a dating site, exclaiming you're wanting some kind of romance, who are you really tryin' to fool here ya know?" LOL

 

Anyhow, what are your thoughts?

 

Woman goes on a dating site to "Date", but then throws up THIS smokescreen?

[skweezd]

I think you're putting the chicken before the egg here. From what I gather, you haven't even met her in person yet and you're already worried about her response to you coming on to her? I was on POF myself a few years back and I had the same bad experiences of guys on there for a quick hook up. Let me tell you, women are very turned off by this because it seems guy after guy has that on his mind before he gets to know you. Try meeting her, being sincere, and feeling out the situation. If she's flirty, then you know you can take it to the next level, if not, just relax a little and give it some time. If you're more worried about the hook up, then just go on Craigslist.

[irc333]

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "quick hook up" and what THAT has to do with what I just posted.

 

I'm not looking for a hook up, I'm looking for a future girlfriend. Big difference.

 

 

I think you're putting the chicken before the egg here. From what I gather, you haven't even met her in person yet and you're already worried about her response to you coming on to her? I was on POF myself a few years back and I had the same bad experiences of guys on there for a quick hook up. Let me tell you, women are very turned off by this because it seems guy after guy has that on his mind before he gets to know you. Try meeting her, being sincere, and feeling out the situation. If she's flirty, then you know you can take it to the next level, if not, just relax a little and give it some time. If you're more worried about the hook up, then just go on Craigslist.

[Scales]

Interesting, apparently this local woman (very local) in this rural area of mine...rather attractive had recently placed a dating profile. She mentioned she's been on the site before, took a break, and came back again.

 

She placed a major emphasis on how romantic she is in her profile, but she responds to my email, but says she's been so busy with her home repairs lately and other "goings on" in her life that she hasn't been in a "romantic frame of mind" these days. Claims to be in her "own little world" right now, but at this point is open to finding a circle of friends or getting started a network of friends in her area.

 

I'm thinking, "Heh, good luck with that, I've lived her all my life and have yet to have the ability to start a network of friends in the boonies, good thing I got Meetup events an hour away"

 

Funny thing, I mentioned how I do attend Meetup events in Orlando as how where I live there's not even Meetup groups.

 

Anyhow she goes on to say, "If you're okay with that, we'll move on to see how we can go about corresponding".

 

I thought "What the heck, I'll go along with it like most men do, play 'the game', play it be ear to see if it becomes more...throw out some flirts and stuff and see what happens".

 

Yeah, some women aren't particularly turned on by men who "pose in the guise of a 'friendship' in hopes it'll turn into something else...but...she's on a dating site....so she's kind of got a label of "single and looking" anyhow. LOL

 

If she has a beef about me putting the moves on her, I would say, "Hey, you're on a dating site, exclaiming you're wanting some kind of romance, who are you really tryin' to fool here ya know?" LOL

 

Anyhow, what are your thoughts?

 

Woman goes on a dating site to "Date", but then throws up THIS smokescreen?

 

This "smokescreen" is a womans ability to weed out guys she doesn't like. It doesn't matter if shes on a website about dating that says shes openly ready to date. She may not want to date you, and for most women meeting a stranger is a risk. Something you should know about POF and OLD that you already know is that people aren't being honest. Not about their looks, image, job, and especially feelings.

 

You're being an honest guy here who is showing interest in her. It would seem that shes not returning the same level of interest, at least not right away. Don't get defensive if she rejects you/is a flake. Go ahead and flirt, its a dating site. You have to create a spark somehow. If she doesn't go for it, go somewhere else. Don't force connections thats can't be made. Don't put emotional investment in something that isn't there.

[irc333]

Yep, I intend on flirting and creating attraction....if she isn't receptive to my flirting, then it would be pointless to be in touch with her to create a circle of friends which she's wishing to do.

 

Funny thing I told her about the Meetup site, she said she's signed up for the site, but has never attended any of the events.

 

The local area was what motivated me to sign up for Meetup, only because...you simply can't make friends where I live. So I'm wondering why she's never been active in Meetup?

 

She mentioned she's done dating in the same city that I'm used to commuting to, however, she's starting to find it rather tiring to drive an hour to meet online dates.

 

We'll see what she does.

 

I'll ask her for her digits, see what her reaction is to that, and go from there.

 

This "smokescreen" is a womans ability to weed out guys she doesn't like. It doesn't matter if shes on a website about dating that says shes openly ready to date. She may not want to date you, and for most women meeting a stranger is a risk. Something you should know about POF and OLD that you already know is that people aren't being honest. Not about their looks, image, job, and especially feelings.

 

You're being an honest guy here who is showing interest in her. It would seem that shes not returning the same level of interest, at least not right away. Don't get defensive if she rejects you/is a flake. Go ahead and flirt, its a dating site. You have to create a spark somehow. If she doesn't go for it, go somewhere else. Don't force connections thats can't be made. Don't put emotional investment in something that isn't there.