Can you steal someone's boyfriend if you're more attractive then them?

[carelessdrifter]

Ok i don't need judgement, i was just wondering, since guys are 'visual' and i have proof that he liked me before he started dating her, but now he's been with her for almost a year... and she's not exactly an ogre, but she has these huge buck teeth and i saw her photo she looked reasonably attractive but little did i know this was taken almost a 'year' ago, so she must have put on weight quite recently... which i can't imagine he's too pleased about since, he seems to spend more time with his friends then with her, so any advice?

[HokeyReligions]

Perhaps her beauty is true as and deep, rather than shallow. Besides you can't know what others find attractive. You only know what YOU find attractive.

 

Its very selfish and childish to want to steal another's boyfriend. That does not speak well of you as a person and is a decidedly UNattractive trait.

[carelessdrifter]

but he is really shallow, so that's why this comes as such a shock.

[flowingmane]

If you could, based simply on looks, I'm not sure he would be worth having as a boyfriend.

[Realist3]

It all depends on how shallow he is. If he is looking for a hot piece of ass, most certainly you are in.. If he is looking for a deeper relationship than looks, then you are crap out of luck.

[Popsicle]

Yes, if he's young. If he's older, you'll have to have a good personality as well.

[carelessdrifter]

also we're all young so i know that it obviously isn't gonna last forever, i think mabye she's just a jump off till he finds the one he really wants, and he might feel a bit pressured to stay with her since they go to the same sixth form/school and he doesn't want to cause any hassle or drama, when i say shallow i don't mean 'openly' shallow like a jerk, i mean like more subtly shallow if that makes any sense.

[Rollercoaster Rider]

Ok i don't need judgement, i was just wondering, since guys are 'visual' and i have proof that he liked me before he started dating her, but now he's been with her for almost a year... and she's not exactly an ogre, but she has these huge buck teeth and i saw her photo she looked reasonably attractive but little did i know this was taken almost a 'year' ago, so she must have put on weight quite recently... which i can't imagine he's too pleased about since, he seems to spend more time with his friends then with her, so any advice?

We always want what we can't have. You should really go and find someone available..and leave their relationship alone. If he's not happy with her, let him make that choice. I wouldn't be seeking advice on how to steal him...

[Sunny_Girl]

Ok i don't need judgement, i was just wondering, since guys are 'visual' and i have proof that he liked me before he started dating her, but now he's been with her for almost a year...

 

Just wondering...if he liked you before he met her and you consider yourself more visually pleasing than her, why do you think he chose her over you?

[Christ is Love]

If they are already in a relationship, it will be easier on you to leave him alone. The fact that your pride makes you think you can steal him will be the same pride that will cause him to stay with her, the girl you find unattractive.

 

Keep it moving toward someone of your own.

Good luck

[MissBee]

Ok i don't need judgement, i was just wondering, since guys are 'visual' and i have proof that he liked me before he started dating her, but now he's been with her for almost a year... and she's not exactly an ogre, but she has these huge buck teeth and i saw her photo she looked reasonably attractive but little did i know this was taken almost a 'year' ago, so she must have put on weight quite recently... which i can't imagine he's too pleased about since, he seems to spend more time with his friends then with her, so any advice?

 

Advice on what? "Stealing" a man?

 

If that's what you're asking no. If he's been with her a year and she has huge buck teeth and whatever else, I'm sure he knew that going into it and still decided to be with her, even though he liked you first...so what does that say? It's not like he didn't "see better", he already saw you and still chose her.

 

Plus looks are in the eyes of the beholder. You are only speculating about how he feels about her weight gain -which I just realize is also a speculation as you are assuming she MUST have gained weight as the picture was a year old, but apparently you don't know her in real life. What if she lost weight or stayed the same or he doesn't care about weight? You're clutching at straws here. This man hasn't tried to talk to you or expressed any interest so I don't see you having much luck trying to "steal him." The evidence we do have is that: he has been with her for a year buck teeth and all, so he must like her and be attracted to her as is.

 

Also...do you honestly want a man who can be stolen? Then when you get him, what next? Do you think relationships are only about looks? They're not. As there will ALWAYS be someone who looks better. There are many women who will look better than you, if your man is only after looks you're in a very unstable position to be left for the next hotter woman. However, most relationships are based on more than looks and when the person loves and values the other person they become beautiful in their eyes and it's not easy for them to be "stolen" by someone else just because they're attractive.

 

This dude isn't your last chance so I'd set my sights on a single dude or wait to make my move if he breaks up with her instead of trying to "steal" him when it doesn't even seem like he has given you any reason to believe he is looking to be stolen by you.

[carelessdrifter]

Just wondering...if he liked you before he met her and you consider yourself more visually pleasing than her, why do you think he chose her over you?

 

I already explained, because we don't go to the same school and i was dating someone then, he said ''you're beautiful'' to me on tumblr, it was anonymous but i found out it was from his school, that it was posted and i know it couldn't have been his mate because he doesn't see me that way and even if he did he doesn't use words like that, i didn't know what to make of it at the time though.

[threelaurels]

I don't think I have ever met someone who would leave an otherwise happy and comfortable relationship just because someone more attractive physically came along. A man who bases his relationship decisions purely on looks isn't relationship material. I'm also willing to bet that you're seeing her looks in a negative light because of your feelings for him. Beauty is subjective, and he obviously finds her attractive enough to date her.

 

Move on. You had a chance with him before he started dating her. If he's happy, leave him be. It may take some time, but you'll find someone else.

[carelessdrifter]

[quote name='MissBee' post='5330090']Advice on what? "Stealing" a man?

If that's what you're asking no. If he's been with her a year and she has huge buck teeth and whatever else, I'm sure he knew that going into it and still decided to be with her, even though he liked you first...so what does that say?  It's not like he didn't "see better", he already saw you and still chose her.

 

He only ever saw me on the internet though, not in real life that's the difference, he was trying to make something happen and i didn't realise it then, and if i did, then she and he would never have happened, in fact i actually found him through my ex who use to troll him and make threats against him, which is kind of ironic in a way, he brought us together.

[MissBee]

I already explained, because we don't go to the same school and i was dating someone then, he said ''you're beautiful'' to me on tumblr, it was anonymous but i found out it was from his school, that it was posted and i know it couldn't have been his mate because he doesn't see me that way and even if he did he doesn't use words like that, i didn't know what to make of it at the time though.

 

I wouldn't read too much into that.

 

You can think someone is beautiful but not be interested in dating them. It's also been a year....have you spoken since? Has he expressed any interest in you since?

 

I can think a man is handsome and tell him so a year ago and find a man I am in love with whom I also find attractive and have been seeing, and I guarantee that what I said anonymously online to some other guy a year ago won't really matter at that point.

 

My main thing is: it doesn't seem like this guy has expressed any further interest in you. It would be one thing if he did, then in such a case it would be clear you could "steal" him, as he is open for it. But if he hasn't, that will be a lot harder and simply not worth it. I get that you're young, I'm older than you but I'm still young too, and even at your age I wasn't keen on "stealing" men as it just seemed like a bad plan and something that would eventually catch up to you.

 

Edited to add: he doesn't even know you in real life, nor you him it seems. Which makes it even more odd you'd be so set on "stealing" this guy that you actually don't know but only know virtually because of "trolling"...wow...yea...I think you should leave this alone. I do not think he will leave his real life gf for someone he only kinda knows on the internet and said was pretty a year ago.

Edited December 29, 2013 by MissBee

[HokeyReligions]

Why don't you talk to your parents about this. Maybe they can tell you why its wrong to try and steal someone's boyfriend.

[carelessdrifter]

I'm not seeing her looks as negative because they're in a relationship, i said in the beginning she looked reasonably attractive to start with.

[carelessdrifter]

Why don't you talk to your parents about this. Maybe they can tell you why its wrong to try and steal someone's boyfriend.

 

I assumed this was the OM/OW forum though? i'm legally an adult, i don't need their approval.

[carelessdrifter]

I wouldn't read too much into that.

 

You can think someone is beautiful but not be interested in dating them. It's also been a year....have you spoken since? Has he expressed any interest in you since?

 

We've never actually spoken face to face, this is why i meant it was an internet thing, like on twitter or tumblr etc.

[threelaurels]

I'm not seeing her looks as negative because they're in a relationship, i said in the beginning she looked reasonably attractive to start with.

 

You implied that she's somehow less attractive than you. That's inherently negative.

 

I assumed this was the OM/OW forum though? i'm legally an adult, i don't need their approval.

 

Yeah, you're not an OW. To be an OW requires having a romantic relationship with a committed person, and you don't have that. From what you've posted, this guy hasn't shown any indication that he's willing to cheat, leave his girlfriend, or that he even still finds you attractive.

[whichwayisup]

Ok i don't need judgement, i was just wondering, since guys are 'visual' and i have proof that he liked me before he started dating her, but now he's been with her for almost a year... and she's not exactly an ogre, but she has these huge buck teeth and i saw her photo she looked reasonably attractive but little did i know this was taken almost a 'year' ago, so she must have put on weight quite recently... which i can't imagine he's too pleased about since, he seems to spend more time with his friends then with her, so any advice?

 

She may be one of the nicest and kindest people, looks aren't everything, personality is more important. Someone can be stunning or very handsome and have a shi.tty personality which takes away from their looks.

 

You are judging her through your own rose coloured glasses and also assuming that is unhappy because he spends time with his friends. How do you know he is spending MORE time with friends than with her?

 

Haven't read the rest of your thread but I'm assuming you're gonna try to 'steal' him from her because you think she's ugly and you're hotter than her, so therefore he should be yours? If I am wrong here, I apologize.

[carelessdrifter]

everybody wants him, and i'm not just saying that cause i like him, it's true and guys with options can't help themselves, especially if they're young and in their 'prime' i suppose.

[carelessdrifter]

she is even friends with his sister on facebook, talk about bunny boiler, obviously his sister accepted the friend request out of kindness not because she actually is close to her, which i doubt.

[MissBee]

everybody wants him, and i'm not just saying that cause i like him, it's true and guys with options can't help themselves, especially if they're young and in their 'prime' i suppose.

 

I guess I am confused about why you want this man so much, esp if he proves himself to be a cheater who "can't help himself"...I mean....I'm not seeing the great appeal here. Then he hooks up with you for like a month or however long until some other woman comes along who has the same mentality as you who doesn't think you're that pretty and thinks she is prettier then tries to "steal" him online and then she does because he is shallow...then what?

 

Are you looking to be with him or just have sex with him?

[MissBee]

she is even friends with his sister on facebook, talk about bunny boiler, obviously his sister accepted the friend request out of kindness not because she actually is close to her, which i doubt.

 

Huh? I don't think that's what bunny boiler means.

 

Careless, it seems like you are jealous of this woman because you want this man and the worst part is you don't know him in real life, he doesn't know you and his gf doesn't know you neither his sister. Yet, you seem to read everything about his life and his gf's life and even his sister on the internet and make up negative conclusions about it. Honestly, what you're doing sounds closer to what a bunny boiler is. But even so you're not his OW....he doesn't even know you're doing this, none of them do, you're cyber stalking these people's social profiles and making up elaborate speculations about why they do what they do.

 

Why wouldn't his sister accept her request? How did you come to determine that it is just out of kindness? Do you know her personally? Has she told you you? Even so, that is still normal. Why wouldn't a sister accept the friend request of her brother's year long gf? I accept friend requests from people I have just met and we talked and my friends' SO's so it is very normal. I think you're really reading into EVERYTHING here....what's worst is, it is all based on what you piece together behind the computer screen as you don't know him offline, he doesn't know you, probably isn't thinking about you or doesn't even know you're doing this, neither his gf, his sister...no one.

 

I really think you should focus on someone more attainable.