dealing with ex completely ignoring me.

[Simon Phoenix]

I'm not using it as an excuse. She makes it a point to contact me, and get her things. but I can't even get a 'no' from her.

 

How about not responding to her? I mean, just a crazy thought. Exes aren't supposed to talk to each other in the immediate aftermath of a breakup.

[Jay C]

for the past few days i've been frustrated and upset. my bestfriend asked what was going on. i told her everything. she knows how it is when someone gives you the cold shoulder. it leaves you confused, hurt and frustrated. she told me that i must confront her or things will only get worse, because i will overthink things and will be left wondering why. so i decided to send this email to my ex..

 

-i've tried reaching out to you countless times, but apparently i've been cut off. so i'm left wondering why i deserved for this to happen and have so many questions unanswered, something you too had to deal with in the past. if you're hurting i would like to apologize, but i can't because i don't know what i did. i'm not trying to force you to get back together, so we can just agree to disagree on why our relationship can't work out. you and i both want a friendship in the future, but i want to know why we can't be amicable right now. i don't want us to argue and handle things the way we've been doing in the past. i don't want us to be strangers and go on holding grudges toward each other and never speak again. i'm trying to be mature about this. so i'd appreciate it if you thought about what i have to say.

 

 

my friend helped me write this. i trust her because she helped me get back with one of my ex's back in the day.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

for the past few days i've been frustrated and upset. my bestfriend asked what was going on. i told her everything. she knows how it is when someone gives you the cold shoulder. it leaves you confused, hurt and frustrated. she told me that i must confront her or things will only get worse, because i will overthink things and will be left wondering why. so i decided to send this email to my ex..

 

-i've tried reaching out to you countless times, but apparently i've been cut off. so i'm left wondering why i deserved for this to happen and have so many questions unanswered, something you too had to deal with in the past. if you're hurting i would like to apologize, but i can't because i don't know what i did. i'm not trying to force you to get back together, so we can just agree to disagree on why our relationship can't work out. you and i both want a friendship in the future, but i want to know why we can't be amicable right now. i don't want us to argue and handle things the way we've been doing in the past. i don't want us to be strangers and go on holding grudges toward each other and never speak again. i'm trying to be mature about this. so i'd appreciate it if you thought about what i have to say.

 

 

my friend helped me write this. i trust her because she helped me get back with one of my ex's back in the day.

 

Lets take a moment of silence for we have seen a travisty today. We witnessed the death of something we all hold so dear. We knew this day would come for Jay C, but he didn't. It's a sad day that we have to mourn, but life never comes easy. Lay to rest oh gentle one

 

RIP: Jay C's Respect and dignity (October 2013-January 2014)

[Zahara]

How many attempts does it take for it to be your last attempt?

 

Baffling. A person completely ignores you, not once, not twice and you still keep asking for a response?

 

"i've tried reaching out to you countless times, but apparently i've been cut off." -- acknowledging you have been cut off after countless times, yet still reaching out. Insanity.

 

Repeating what I said in another post -- Silence is difficult to accept but nonetheless, it is a clear and loud message.

[Jay C]

How many attempts does it take for it to be your last attempt?

 

Baffling. A person completely ignores you, not once, not twice and you still keep asking for a response?

 

"i've tried reaching out to you countless times, but apparently i've been cut off." -- acknowledging you have been cut off after countless times, yet still reaching out. Insanity.

 

Repeating what I said in another post -- Silence is difficult to accept but nonetheless, it is a clear and loud message.

 

i'm just pissed because i made myself available to her, doing everything she asks for, then i get nothing in return.

[Simon Phoenix]

So this will be your last attempt until your next last attempt. Either way, sending that is a crappy idea. Make your last previous attempt your last total attempt.

[chris21422]

Man you friends suck! don't send it. Leave things at be and walk away.

 

 

my friend helped me write this. i trust her because she helped me get back with one of my ex's back in the day.

[shakepig]

i'm just pissed because i made myself available to her, doing everything she asks for, then i get nothing in return.

 

Frankly you are not doing everything she asks for. She asked for peace and distance from you( you may not notice)...

 

I wish my EX cuts me off completely. That would make my life easier actually..

[Zahara]

i'm just pissed because i made myself available to her, doing everything she asks for, then i get nothing in return.

 

She broke up with you. She said she didn't want to put in anymore effort in the relationship. She said she was not in love with you anymore. She said you deserved better. She was with another guy a month after you broke up.

 

Why would you make yourself available to someone that said/did all of the above? Why would you do everything she asks when she said/did all of the above?

 

You did what you did because you thought that by being her doormat, she may like/love you again, realize what a great guy she'd be missing and come back to you. You did it all based on your own expectations. No one else's fault but yours.

[pickflicker]

Lets take a moment of silence for we have seen a travisty today. We witnessed the death of something we all hold so dear. We knew this day would come for Jay C, but he didn't. It's a sad day that we have to mourn, but life never comes easy. Lay to rest oh gentle one

 

RIP: Jay C's Respect and dignity (October 2013-January 2014)

 

Indeed. Jay C, your friend does not give very good advice, I'm afraid.

[Jay C]

She broke up with you. She said she didn't want to put in anymore effort in the relationship. She said she was not in love with you anymore. She said you deserved better. She was with another guy a month after you broke up.

 

Why would you make yourself available to someone that said/did all of the above? Why would you do everything she asks when she said/did all of the above?

 

You did what you did because you thought that by being her doormat, she may like/love you again, realize what a great guy she'd be missing and come back to you. You did it all based on your own expectations. No one else's fault but yours.

 

i agree i was a doormat. so what you're saying is disappear, be silent, do everything opposite i've been doing, then things would be different?

[cavalier99]

She is completly ignoring you?

 

Wooo Hoooo. Finally a good dumper who plays by the book. You should be super happy. This is fantastic for you!!! Not kidding. Cav

[Zahara]

i agree i was a doormat. so what you're saying is disappear, be silent, do everything opposite i've been doing, then things would be different?

 

Yes. NC. No more contact.

 

The difference would be that you would be moving on and closing this chapter of your life.

[pickflicker]

i agree i was a doormat. so what you're saying is disappear, be silent, do everything opposite i've been doing, then things would be different?

 

There's no guarantee that things would be different. But by ghosting out of your life, you maintain your dignity, and fast track your healing, which is more important than getting her back.

[stillafool]

i'm just pissed because i made myself available to her, doing everything she asks for, then i get nothing in return.

 

This is why they call it a "break up". If you two are broken up she is suppose to move on with her life. She cannot be your friend because you want her back. You are going to have to accept the fact that she does not want you back and the relationship is over. Stop making excuses to try to get her to contact you. She knows if she gives you an inch you will take a foot. At this point you are wasting your own time. She has more than likely started dating someone else by now. Maybe you should seek professional help to get you on the road to healing. You expecting her to come back to you is delusional at this point.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

i'm just pissed because i made myself available to her, doing everything she asks for, then i get nothing in return.

 

So almost begging at her feet is going to change the situation? NO. You guys are broken up there is NOTHING you can do but to stop contacting her.

[lil hoodlum]

Jay C, I get what you are saying about your ex ignoring you while you are trying to be civil and mature about things. Unforunatly your ex has CHOSEN not to be mature and civil about things. Sounds like she is immature.

 

I'm sorry that I don't have any real advice for you. My ex has CHOSEN to behave in the same manner. Not much we can do about the situation but accept that is the kind of people are ex's are, IMMATURE.

I know it sucks to be on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, even more so when it is unwarranted.

 

Just try to move forward from this. You've tried you best several times. She hasn't. At least you can say you won't have any regrets from not trying.

[pickflicker]

Jay C, I get what you are saying about your ex ignoring you while you are trying to be civil and mature about things. Unforunatly your ex has CHOSEN not to be mature and civil about things. Sounds like she is immature.

 

I'm sorry that I don't have any real advice for you. My ex has CHOSEN to behave in the same manner. Not much we can do about the situation but accept that is the kind of people are ex's are, IMMATURE.

 

I know it sucks to be on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, even more so when it is unwarranted.

 

Just try to move forward from this. You've tried you best several times. She hasn't. At least you can say you won't have any regrets from not trying.

 

Ignorning an ex is not immature. Once you've broken up with them, or they have broken up with you, they have nothing further to offer. The past goes into the past and you move forward.

 

The high horse does not belong to the person that continues to force contact with an ex and not accept that a relationship is over. It doesn't belong to anyone.

[lil hoodlum]

Ignorning an ex is not immature. Once you've broken up with them, or they have broken up with you, they have nothing further to offer. The past goes into the past and you move forward.

 

The high horse does not belong to the person that continues to force contact with an ex and not accept that a relationship is over. It doesn't belong to anyone.

 

I'm sorry but I disagree. Just because two people are no longer in a relationship doesn't mean just ignore the person as if they no longer exist. If you were a sh*tty partner and did some really hurtful things, then I understand being ignored.

 

If however, you were a good partner and the relationship was a good one, acting as if the ex doesn't exist is rather immature.

 

Seriously, if you see or run into your ex and the relationship/break up wasn't bad, how hard is to be at least civil and polite. The OP ex asked for something back. He gave it back. He asked about HIS dog. She ignored. That is rude. I didn't get the impression he is in denial about the relationship being over nor did I surmise that he is FORCING contact with her. Seems like the two are taking care of loose ends.

 

I expect this kind of behavior from people who are immature and/or cowards.

 

I know some people will disagree with what I have said, but I hold myself to a Higher power and believe in treating others as I would like to be treated. It is the right and decent thing to do.

[Simon Phoenix]

I'm sorry but I disagree. Just because two people are no longer in a relationship doesn't mean just ignore the person as if they no longer exist. If you were a sh*tty partner and did some really hurtful things, then I understand being ignored.

 

If however, you were a good partner and the relationship was a good one, acting as if the ex doesn't exist is rather immature.

 

Seriously, if you see or run into your ex and the relationship/break up wasn't bad, how hard is to be at least civil and polite. The OP ex asked for something back. He gave it back. He asked about HIS dog. She ignored. That is rude. I didn't get the impression he is in denial about the relationship being over nor did I surmise that he is FORCING contact with her. Seems like the two are taking care of loose ends.

 

I expect this kind of behavior from people who are immature and/or cowards.

 

I know some people will disagree with what I have said, but I hold myself to a Higher power and believe in treating others as I would like to be treated. It is the right and decent thing to do.

 

Don't bring religion into this. Not appropriate.

[pickflicker]

I'm sorry but I disagree. Just because two people are no longer in a relationship doesn't mean just ignore the person as if they no longer exist. If you were a sh*tty partner and did some really hurtful things, then I understand being ignored.

 

If however, you were a good partner and the relationship was a good one, acting as if the ex doesn't exist is rather immature.

 

Seriously, if you see or run into your ex and the relationship/break up wasn't bad, how hard is to be at least civil and polite. The OP ex asked for something back. He gave it back. He asked about HIS dog. She ignored. That is rude. I didn't get the impression he is in denial about the relationship being over nor did I surmise that he is FORCING contact with her. Seems like the two are taking care of loose ends.

 

I expect this kind of behavior from people who are immature and/or cowards.

 

I know some people will disagree with what I have said, but I hold myself to a Higher power and believe in treating others as I would like to be treated. It is the right and decent thing to do.

 

Anyone can see the OP is using the dog to continue to maintain some sort of connection with his ex. The dog is not a child. He can't have some custody arrangement with it. All he's doing is digging at the wound. Just because he's choosing the path of most resistance and deliberately causing himself suffering, does not mean she has to applaud him for it.

 

He needs to just get another dog.

[Juha]

i'm just pissed because i made myself available to her, doing everything she asks for, then i get nothing in return.

 

Been there also my man. Nothing you can do and by getting angry I think it makes them feel better for whatever reason they want the response.

 

Don't bother responding, not worth it. I understand about the dog but it may be she is using the dog to get back at you for whatever is going on in her head and why she broke up with you.

 

Her being cold and acting how she is just shows you the caliber of person she really is. We really don't need this type of person in our lives

[lil hoodlum]

And you may be right, the OP may be holding that out as some kind of "last" connection. I agree, he should either get the dog back or let it go.

 

I understand and agree with you if someone however is being a pest and bugging their ex then yes, at a certain point you can expect to be ignored. I didn't get the impression that this was going on here.

[pickflicker]

And you may be right, the OP may be holding that out as some kind of "last" connection. I agree, he should either get the dog back or let it go.

 

I understand and agree with you if someone however is being a pest and bugging their ex then yes, at a certain point you can expect to be ignored. I didn't get the impression that this was going on here.

 

I think there have been repeated attempts at communication and they haven't been fruitful.

 

She's probably trying to do the right thing as a dumper and leaving him alone. As Cav said, that's what a dumper should do.

 

But, we agree. Time to let the dog go.

[Jay C]

I think there have been repeated attempts at communication and they haven't been fruitful.

 

She's probably trying to do the right thing as a dumper and leaving him alone. As Cav said, that's what a dumper should do.

 

But, we agree. Time to let the dog go.

 

after my breakup she told me we can have arrangements for me to get the dog. we were civil and even told me that we might get back together. so i'm here, doing everything she asks for, but then realising i'm just getting played. after all she told me, she walls me off and goes NC, so i'm left here wondering WTF happened.