Am I too jealous? Or is this not okay?

[kels2soccer]

Alright so keep in mind that I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18. We've been dating for a year and a half. I wouldn't have sex with him for a really long time because I wasn't ready yet. But at around a year we did and yeah. So then after we do that he cheats on me. He cheated with this 23 year old girl who is a lot prettier than me. And I thought my boyfriend was kinda ugly honestly, but it doesn't matter to me.

 

Anyways so we broke up and then after a few months of me still talking to him because of how much I care about him (and we hung out and did stuff all the time too), we got back together. He texted me one day saying how when I said one time how he was growing up and he was an adult now and everything and he realized how being in a relationship with someone he loved and cared about so much was more important than meaningless sex with someone.

 

And now were back together. He no longer has any contact with this girl (and she continues to try and talk to him and try to get him to come over).

 

He works at a fast food place and it's one of those places where everyone is a teenager and everyone is out going and stuff. Well this is where the problems begin. He is basically friends with everyone there. And this is okay with me but he wants to hang out with them. By them I mean all the girls who flirt with him and are way too touchy with him, right in front of me! There is one girl in particular he hangs out after work with if they close together. I've met her and I like her and she even has a boyfriend. But I know that whole me and drew were broken up they cuddled. Without the sexual stuff but still. They sit in his car after work at 11 pm and talk for hours. In a dark empty parking lot.

 

Drew doesn't think it's a problem and when I say okay you can hang out with her but you need to leave by 12 he laughs and says 'no that probably won't happen, I'll leave when she needs to go home'. He wouldn't cheat with this girl but I feel like she is more important than I am because I invited him to come over tonight because my dad wouldn't be home and he said after I hang out with her. Well okay as long as you leave by 12. And he said no promises. This makes me feel like he is choosing her over me and when I try to talk about it he says I'm done talking about it Or no, I'm hanging out with her for as long as I want end of discussion.

 

What can I say to this? I've told him that she and him need to respect the fact that were in a committed relationship but he is so stubborn that I can't say anything to him without him just responding with "ok". Sorry if this was hard to read I'm upset and it's hard to type sensibly. I'm worried I'm pushing him to cheat again or something.

 

Edit: I should also mention that Ive told him to stop texting the four girls from work that he texted all the time and he cut it back A LOT because I was getting so jealous.

 

Edit 2: he texted me just now after calming down (it turned into a big him yelling and me trying to not) and apologized. Still not willing to budge though

Edited December 29, 2013 by kels2soccer
Forgot something

[Sand Man Dan]

His behavior is ridiculous. Decide for yourself how much respect you are going to demand in your relationships. The way to do this is to walk away from any mistreatment.

[darkmoon]

do some hanging out with other men, not in a way that looks like the contrived gesture that it really is, but so that he catches on to the fact that this hanging out hurts, hell, they might be kinder than him

 

you are not going to change him from being sociable, and I think blurting out of the blue that 12 was his deadline must have been a surprise command, no man likes a command really, the girl at work might be after him so please do not get angry you will look hissy, not attractive, this will push him to cheat, give her a buzz and all that, they might discuss you (I am on your side) so give them no cause to put you down

 

take him as you find him, not quite romantic enough with you to make you feel special, apparently, so hang out with others, more fun than this

Edited December 29, 2013 by darkmoon

[kels2soccer]

I will hang out with a guy he knows likes me. Because I know some of the girls at his work like him and say 'love you drewbie'. I'm glad he doesn't hang out with them at least. Maybe he will get the message and see how it feels

[darkmoon]

I will hang out with a guy he knows likes me. Because I know some of the girls at his work like him and say 'love you drewbie'. I'm glad he doesn't hang out with them at least. Maybe he will get the message and see how it feels

 

 

you do that! I am happy for you xx

[peruano99]

I will hang out with a guy he knows likes me. Because I know some of the girls at his work like him and say 'love you drewbie'. I'm glad he doesn't hang out with them at least. Maybe he will get the message and see how it feels

 

Try not to have a revenge affair.

[kels2soccer]

Try not to have a revenge affair.

 

I would never do that. At one point he said he wouldn't mind because of how much he knows I love him or whatever and when I said fine I'll do it (with no intention of actually doing it) he freaked and said don't.