limits of stripper touching in a relationship

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by Stone

Is it diffrent if you went to a female strip club and the girl put her tits in your face?

 

No, that's basically the same thing. But I would only do that if I were single.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by tanbark813

Does the bf have a right to be upset?

 

No, they were having fun at a bachelorette party. As long as clothes were on and no sexual activity took place it is harmless.

 

At my bachelor party I had to get up on stage at the nudie bar with about 15 topless women of which one made me get on my hands and knees and then she sat on my back and pretended I was a horse.

 

Big deal...now of course, I did not tell my soon-to-be-ex-wife about this but what she does not know will not hurt her.

[Stone]

Sorry to say but I can't believe she told you the details.... is she wanting you to get all upset and jellous?

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by Stone

Sorry to say but I can't believe she told you the details.... is she wanting you to get all upset and jellous?

 

No. It's kind of a long story but I requested pics from the party and she sent them to me. I know I didn't get all of them because the bride was topless in some and she (the bride) didn't want me seeing those. Not sure if my (currently ex) gf was in any of those.

[zara]

I agree with Stone - male strippers are a lot more risque and forceful than female strippers. My face goes in no one's crotch thank you very much! But it is possible to have a dancer do a dance with no contact and some men do actually request this, also, as a dancer, you can judge who is comfortable with a lot of contact and who isn't. The aim of a female stripper in a club is to tease and excite; the aim of a male stripper is to tease and embarrass.

 

I wonder how comfortable was your GF with those actions? i doubt any woman would find the situation at all erotic but rather embarrassing. Still, if she knew that this was something that you would find unacceptable then she should not have participated. Just my view.

[tiki]

Originally posted by tanbark813

because the bride was topless

 

Oh that's nice. Who was the stripper, her or the man?

 

I can't imagine marrying my bride to be, knowing she had just gone topless for the stripper and all of her same sex friends. Her poor husband.

 

Zara...do you treat all men the same, as long as they're giving you money? Or do any of them get your 'special treatment'?

[magda]

If it's through a sheet, then it's okay. Everythings okay through a sheet with a hole in it!

 

 

I don't really believe anyone has absolute intrinsic "rights" to be mad about things. It all depends on what understanding exists in their relationship.

In my relationship, my boyfriend would have a "right" to be mad because I would have violated what my boyfriend has made clear his feelings are about such goings-on. But I don't know what their feelings are or what their relationship is like.

[zara]

Dances differ according to the guy, some like you close to them, some prefer to watch you at a distance, some are ass men, some are boob men, you work it out and tailor you dance accordingly.

 

If by your question you mean do i do 'extras' i.e. give anyone sexual services then the answer is no. I'm a dancer, that's all i do - dance.

 

Guys often pay for stage shows for stag/ birthday parties etc, which is the whole being tied to the pole, ice down the pants etc and that is where it is more embarrassment than sexy, like male strippers - although even then, the most i will do is sit on the guys lap and grind the ice into his pants, and maybe spank him with his own belt.

[savethedrama4allama]

With all due respect-

 

I think you need to quit worrying about what she did, forget about her, and drop her ass. You broke up. Why are you still talking to her first of all, and secondly why are you stressing out about what she did in the past? Obviously it makes you upset, and in my opinion that is understandable. I certainly wouldn't tolerate it. Next time you get into a relationship, it should be something on your list of "things not acceptable to me" (if it wasn't already).

 

For now, quit torturing yourself with how she betrayed you. You wanted to see photos- do you really enjoy hurting yourself that much??

[tiki]

The llama speaks and the llama is right. Please make sure you and your next girlfriend are compatible on all of these levels. It's vital!

[Cecelius]

Originally posted by Stone

Sorry to say but I can't believe she told you the details.... is she wanting you to get all upset and jellous?

 

I think the point is that for some folks, one sholdn't be doing anything in a strip club that you would not feel free to discuss with your partner

[hooghie]

I think it is cheating. Any sort of touching or purposeful arousal is cheating. guys often say 'you can't touch the stripper' well what difference does it make if they touch you or get their naked body close enough to generate a hard on???

It's interesting to see a guys perspective on this- usually guys think it's ok because the stripper is getting paid/has no interest. I don't think any of that matters- it is STILL cheating.

 

I don't know your entire history, but maybe she didn't think you'd get mad because of the dominant male attitude on the subject.

 

 

Originally posted by zara

Guys often pay for stage shows for stag/ birthday parties etc, which is the whole being tied to the pole, ice down the pants etc and that is where it is more embarrassment than sexy, like male strippers - although even then, the most i will do is sit on the guys lap and grind the ice into his pants, and maybe spank him with his own belt.

 

 

If I get on my boyfriends lap and grind him, he will have a hard on in about 1/2 second- I don't want my bf to let any other woman to ever do that- it is cheating- I don't care if she gets paid or he isn't allowed to touch her back.

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by zara

I wonder how comfortable was your GF with those actions?

 

That's another thing that really doesn't sit well with me is the inconsistency. She told me that she would never let some "Reno stripper trash" touch her (no offense to strippers on this board, just quoting her). But then she clearly did in the pictures, and she didn't look uncomfortable in the least. Of course, the coke and alcohol probably had a lot to do with that.

 

Thanks for the input.

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama

Why are you still talking to her first of all, and secondly why are you stressing out about what she did in the past?

 

She initiated contact to ask me back. I've always felt like I've put more effort into the relationship to make her feel secure about me than vice versa. So I asked for the pics and she obliged. While what happened bothers me, I'm stressing more about the lying than the actions.

 

Originally posted by Cecelius

I think the point is that for some folks, one sholdn't be doing anything in a strip club that you would not feel free to discuss with your partner

 

I agree 100%.

 

Originally posted by hooghie

maybe she didn't think you'd get mad because of the dominant male attitude on the subject.

 

That's possible. Another one of her justifications was that she acted the most innocently out of everyone there. And judging by the pics, I'd have to agree with that (unless there are others of her which were withheld, which there may very well be).

[Pocky]

I hardly think it's cheating. Is hugging another person cheating? Is dancing with another person cheating? Is flippantly flirting with another person cheating? Personally, I don't think any of it's cheating.

 

Of course, the coke and alcohol probably had a lot to do with that.

 

Forget the stripper - take care of the coke. The coke seems to be one of your bigger issues anyway.

[Stone]

Originally posted by zara

The aim of a female stripper in a club is to tease and excite; the aim of a male stripper is to tease and embarrass.

 

Very true, I love men as much as the next chick but male dancers do nothing for me, there just stupid and funny ( and a HIGH majority are gay)

 

Girls arn't like guys, we really don't get excited about a naked man jumping up and down on us, that's why there are VERY LITTLE Male strip clubs around because it's not a popular attraction. It's fun and embarassment with friends, that's why pictures are usually allowed with male strippers for embarasment. NEVER NEVER will a camera be allowed in a female strip club.

 

If given the chance I don't think your ex g/f would have skrewed around with him.

[tiki]

Originally posted by Stone

Very true, I love men as much as the next chick but male dancers do nothing for me, there just stupid and funny ( and a HIGH majority are gay)

 

Girls arn't like guys, we really don't get excited about a naked man jumping up and down on us, that's why there are VERY LITTLE Male strip clubs around because it's not a popular attraction. It's fun and embarassment with friends, that's why pictures are usually allowed with male strippers for embarasment. NEVER NEVER will a camera be allowed in a female strip club.

 

Man, this is so true. Guys look like goobs in those little thongy things. And they dance around and make you laugh...women strippers, it's more serious and sensual.

[hooghie]

Originally posted by tanbark813

 

Another one of her justifications was that she acted the most innocently out of everyone there. And judging by the pics, I'd have to agree with that (unless there are others of her which were withheld, which there may very well be).

 

 

Although true, this is a TERRIBLE excuse. So, if everyone had sex with him, but she just gave a hand job it would be ok???

 

Originally posted by Pocky

I hardly think it's cheating. Is hugging another person cheating? Is dancing with another person cheating? Is flippantly flirting with another person cheating? Personally, I don't think any of it's cheating.

 

Forget the stripper - take care of the coke. The coke seems to be one of your bigger issues anyway.

 

 

if you are paying someone naked to dance with you or hug you so that you can be turned on, I would say that it is cheating. just my opinion.

I DO agree that the coke is a MUCH BIGGER ISSUE that needs to be addressed ASAP.

[tiki]

Hooghie...I happen to agree with your POV. I'm a little old fashioned I guess, but yeah, it's cheating to me.

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by hooghie

if you are paying someone naked to dance with you or hug you so that you can be turned on, I would say that it is cheating. just my opinion.

I DO agree that the coke is a MUCH BIGGER ISSUE that needs to be addressed ASAP.

 

 

I've asked her to quit doing coke altogether. Her response: "Fine, but I don't see what the big deal is." She has also remarked that drinking alcohol is worse than doing coke.

[Pocky]

if you are paying someone naked to dance with you or hug you so that you can be turned on, I would say that it is cheating. just my opinion.

 

Have any of you women ever seen a guy strip? How about a girl? Have you ever had them dance for you? I'd have to say most of you haven't because of the way you're perceiving the entertainment.

 

I've had strippers dance for me and I would hardly say I was "turned on". Having a male stripper come to a party is like having a singing telegram delivered to your door - only difference is they're partially naked and can dance better than they can sing. It's amusing while it's happening - but what makes it amusing is the embarrassment of the person being watched by the people. It's the "game" of play acting this sexy wench with this hunk guy that you KNOW you'd never get. It's all just fun. And the pictures are a freaking hoot!

 

I doubt there were many girls there getting all wet because of this guy. Besides, most male dancers are gay anyway so he probably didn't even get aroused!

[hooghie]

Originally posted by tiki

Hooghie...I happen to agree with your POV. I'm a little old fashioned I guess, but yeah, it's cheating to me.

 

thanks I guess I'm old fashioned too, but I've seen a lot of relationships deteriate because of stripper contact and I don't think it makes one bit of difference whether it is a stripper or someone at a bar, etc. Women don't usually have to pay for it, but men do so they've let us think that it is ok to get turned on by a stripper, but not someone at a club or someone who isn't getting paid- even if it is a one time thing.

 

 

Originally posted by tanbark813

 

I've asked her to quit doing coke altogether. Her response: "Fine, but I don't see what the big deal is." She has also remarked that drinking alcohol is worse than doing coke.

 

 

I wouldn't think about getting back with her if she continues the coke. As far as the booze- of course anything in excess can be a big problem- I don't think my drinking a few glasses of wine is comparable to a few hits of coke. If either of you have a major drinking problem- that needs to be addressed as well.

[tanbark813]

Originally posted by Pocky

Have any of you women ever seen a guy strip? How about a girl? Have you ever had them dance for you? I'd have to say most of you haven't because of the way you're perceiving the entertainment.

 

I've had strippers dance for me and I would hardly say I was "turned on". Having a male stripper come to a party is like having a singing telegram delivered to your door - only difference is they're partially naked and can dance better than they can sing. It's amusing while it's happening - but what makes it amusing is the embarrassment of the person being watched by the people. It's the "game" of play acting this sexy wench with this hunk guy that you KNOW you'd never get. It's all just fun. And the pictures are a freaking hoot!

 

I doubt there were many girls there getting all wet because of this guy. Besides, most male dancers are gay anyway so he probably didn't even get aroused!

 

Perhaps, but the girls looked pretty excited when he was pouring lube into their hands to rub him with.

[hooghie]

Originally posted by Pocky

 

 

Have any of you women ever seen a guy strip? How about a girl? Have you ever had them dance for you? I'd have to say most of you haven't because of the way you're perceiving the entertainment.

 

I've had strippers dance for me and I would hardly say I was "turned on". Having a male stripper come to a party is like having a singing telegram delivered to your door - only difference is they're partially naked and can dance better than they can sing. It's amusing while it's happening - but what makes it amusing is the embarrassment of the person being watched by the people. It's the "game" of play acting this sexy wench with this hunk guy that you KNOW you'd never get. It's all just fun. And the pictures are a freaking hoot!

 

I doubt there were many girls there getting all wet because of this guy. Besides, most male dancers are gay anyway so he probably didn't even get aroused!

 

 

Actually, yes, I've been to male and female strip clubs and have been to parties where male strippers show up. I agree that women do not generally get turned on by this, but I think SOME men do. I know guys who travel long distances to go to a strip club where it is 'ok' to touch the strippers.

 

Zara,

 

based on your experience, would you agree that a lot of men DO get turned on by it?

[tiki]

Originally posted by Pocky

Have any of you women ever seen a guy strip? How about a girl? Have you ever had them dance for you? I'd have to say most of you haven't because of the way you're perceiving the entertainment.

 

I've had strippers dance for me and I would hardly say I was "turned on". Having a male stripper come to a party is like having a singing telegram delivered to your door - only difference is they're partially naked and can dance better than they can sing. It's amusing while it's happening - but what makes it amusing is the embarrassment of the person being watched by the people. It's the "game" of play acting this sexy wench with this hunk guy that you KNOW you'd never get. It's all just fun. And the pictures are a freaking hoot!

 

I doubt there were many girls there getting all wet because of this guy. Besides, most male dancers are gay anyway so he probably didn't even get aroused!

 

Yes, I've been to two male strip clubs and one female. My sister has stripped for ten years. You're right, the male ones are far fetched and it's a little hard to get excited. To me, the women are much more sensual and 'for real'. It's not about embarassing you, it's about making your d*ck hard.