Author liloldlady Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 Is it normal or healthy for you to have not seen your love in 21 months It is unusual how we've continued to think of one another after all this time, agreed. and he has a live-in girlfriend but you are jealous of him "inboxing/facebooking" someone else? Oh, you're getting him mixed up with my local guy. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 It is unusual how we've continued to think of one another after all this time, agreed. Oh, you're getting him mixed up with my local guy. Okay, what? Spell this out for me please. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Well it's weird. I was wondering about this girl, looked at my page and sure enough, there's a post on his wall from her. Like she just popped into my mind earlier out of the blue, couldn't even remember the girl's name until I saw this post on his wall today, so clearly my instincts are on point. So then looked at her wall, and there were two messages from him! I don't like it! I don't really think it's all like that. Those days are kind of behind him, juggling too many women, back in the day and way before he met me but still! He's got some explaining to do. The problem is his need for external validation. He's been spending time and energy paying attention to the other gal. Now you've given him plenty of time to dream up excuses. He will blame her, you - anyone else. He hasn't given up his old ways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 A guy that will cheat on his GF with you will also cheat on both of you with some other random woman. Guys like him aren't discriminating, either... there are probably more, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 He's been spending time and energy paying attention to the other gal. When I encourage him to be more discriminating, he says tell him when I need more attention and he'll give it to me Bless him. Classic case of external validation seeker. He was neglected as a child and also for a while in high school. I wonder: how many more years will the dear spend so called making up for lost time. We wonder. Now you've given him plenty of time to dream up excuses. He will blame her, you - anyone else. He did both. Yep. He brought he and I into it and described her as totally insane. I implored him: what caused her to snap? She just made it up out of the clear blue sky? I said I'm almost inclined to believe her over you (yes I went there) because women don't just randomly threaten to tell your girlfriend you've been together when it's nothing even close that. Here's where I could use more insight. To the above, he said, "as a friend, why would I lie to you?" I said "you have no reason to lie to me." He sounded satisfied. "Exactly." That begs the question: when is it OK to lie, in his mind? Apparently it's OK for him to lie to his girlfriend but not to his friend. He hasn't given up his old ways. Oh, he knows. He says he's not a one woman man. "Not yet", he says. This one wants to get married when he's around 70 years old he says I wonder if his girlfriend knows that Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 Okay, what? Spell this out for me please. Don't worry, I'm lost too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 A guy that will cheat on his GF with you will also cheat on both of you with some other random woman. Oh, I know! He told me about something that happened on the road! The groupie stood him up. I literally threw up. Guys like him aren't discriminating, either... there are probably more, too. He insists he's only slept with me and his girlfriend for all of 2013. I tend to believe him. After all, as he said, in his mind, he's rationalized that he has no reason to lie to me. But obviously that doesn't mean he hasn't tried, as described above. He complained there's no one local who wants to be involved with him. (!!) He whined that only internet people fall in love with him (hence his emotional affairs, which is clearly what he had with the Facebook girl). First he said he's talked on the phone with her a couple of times. It was like pulling teeth to get him to admit that in order for her to help her through her dark times, they had to have in depth conversations. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 I guess he's picked you because there's nobody else to choose from... I can't see one reason to even have a conversation with him again. He's awful! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 I guess he's picked you because there's nobody else to choose from... Lots of girls like him. This is a small town. He grew up around most of them. And he doesn't want to drive to L.A. to "visit a friend" if he doesn't have to. L.A. is not as local as our suburb. And you're presuming he doesn't also happen to really, really love me. I can't see one reason to even have a conversation with him again. Well to go into the things I like about him... I leave that between he & I. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 OP, please clarify. Is this guy your true love? Or is your true love someone else? And if you love someone else, why are you f*cking this guy? And he's hardly your man. He's seeing someone else as well... Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 1, 2014 Author Share Posted January 1, 2014 OP, please clarify. Is this guy your true love? Or is your true love someone else? Someone else. And if you love someone else, why are you f*cking this guy? I need to stop. And he's hardly your man. He's seeing someone else as well... I know, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Someone else. I need to stop. I know, I know. Ok so he can't be your true love then. If I had a true love, I'd never cheat on him. You're cheating on your true love, so it means he's not really your true love. Also, does your true love know you love him? Or is this unrequited. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 Ok so he can't be your true love then. If I had a true love, I'd never cheat on him. True love and & I are not technically together. True love broke up with me in a very abrupt way, but I forgive him. Also, does your true love know you love him? Yep, we love each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 In your threads, you continue to make excuses for a man you play 2nd or 3rd or 4th fiddle to. You know his history and you continue to try and tell yourself that things are "different" now with you and him even though you're STILL just a backup plan. You seem to accept whatever he tells you as truth. It's delusional to think he's only been with you and his gf. I hope you practice safe sex with this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) I meant he chose you because you believe his lies. That way you go along with his BS. And he's not "your man" since he already has a girlfriend! Edited January 2, 2014 by beach Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 True love and & I are not technically together. True love broke up with me in a very abrupt way, but I forgive him. Yep, we love each other. Okay so you are: 1. With a local guy who has a girlfriend And 2. Your true love is someone else (musician?) who also has a girlfriend and he erased your Facebook messages that you left. And Guy 2 is receiving inboxings from another girl who says she was with him but he says she's crazy and that he was only with you and his girlfriend last year? But he's putting cutesey messages on her wall? But you are worried about a DDay with guy one and you "should stop" sleeping with him? Did I get all of this right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 You seem to accept whatever he tells you as truth. He's been very forthright about the intimate details of his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 And he's not "your man" since he already has a girlfriend! And yet he told me in the beginning: you're my girl. Whether you know it or not, you're my girl. Same thing he calls that lady he lives with. However she is not a girl. She is a middle aged woman with a past. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 Okay so you are: 1. With a local guy who has a girlfriend And 2. Your true love is someone else (musician?) who also has a girlfriend No. True love is single. He hasn't been with anyone else since me after all this time. And Guy 2 is receiving inboxings from another girl who says she was with him but he says she's crazy and that he was only with you and his girlfriend last year? That's local guy. Yes. But he's putting cutesey messages on her wall? And everyone else. Not me, though. He's afraid of my true love. (They know each other very well.) But you are worried about a DDay I'm not worried. Did I get all of this right? Very good! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 No. True love is single. He hasn't been with anyone else since me after all this time. That's local guy. Yes. And everyone else. Not me, though. He's afraid of my true love. (They know each other very well.) I'm not worried. Very good! Okay, True Love is single but you guys broke up awhile ago. Haven't seen each other in 21 months but you love each other. Local guy has a girlfriend. He has "only been with you abd the girlfriend." There's another (other) woman being online cutesey with him and he takes doen your messages because he is scared of your True Love. Other-other woman says she's been with Local Guy. Local Guy says she's making it up. And one of these guys is in trouble? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 Okay, True Love is single but you guys broke up awhile ago. Haven't seen each other in 21 months but you love each other. Local guy has a girlfriend. He has "only been with you abd the girlfriend." There's another (other) woman being online cutesey with him and he takes doen your messages because he is scared of your True Love. Oh you were doing so good! I do not write on local guy's wall! Are you kidding me?????????????????? Other-other woman says she's been with Local Guy. Local Guy says she's making it up. No, she's not other other woman, LOL. He just has a lot of friends, that's all. He doesn't like being alone. I did find it odd he said he didn't want to drive to L.A. to visit a friend. That's where Facebook girl lives. Perhaps she snapped because she felt displaced (by me). If so, he would admit if they smashed in the past. Apparently she's been following him and his associates around for decades. No biggie. And one of these guys is in trouble? I take local guy to task on how he conducts his social media, yes. He and I both agree that is not real life, however. And I don't nag local guy about his social media often. That's petty. I just encourage him sometimes to do better. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Oh you were doing so good! I do not write on local guy's wall! Are you kidding me?????????????????? No, she's not other other woman, LOL. He just has a lot of friends, that's all. He doesn't like being alone. I did find it odd he said he didn't want to drive to L.A. to visit a friend. That's where Facebook girl lives. Perhaps she snapped because she felt displaced (by me). If so, he would admit if they smashed in the past. Apparently she's been following him and his associates around for decades. No biggie. I take local guy to task on how he conducts his social media, yes. He and I both agree that is not real life, however. And I don't nag local guy about his social media often. That's petty. I just encourage him sometimes to do better. So much drama - that must suck. He's not "your man". Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 And yet he told me in the beginning: you're my girl. Whether you know it or not, you're my girl. Same thing he calls that lady he lives with. However she is not a girl. She is a middle aged woman with a past. And how do you think people would describe your relationship history? You definitely have a past too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liloldlady Posted January 2, 2014 Author Share Posted January 2, 2014 And how do you think people would describe your relationship history? You definitely have a past too. Well I don't have any secret kids and multiple baby daddies, that's for sure. I'm not with anyone for superficial reasons, that's for sure. Not my opinion, but that of someone who knows her. Anyway, it's none of my business. Don't get hung up on the thread title. Local guy is not ready to give his heart to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
JessieJ08 Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 The fact your saying you have a man at all.... No dear you dont have a man.... another thing I dont even think what your saying is funny I feel sad for you that you play along with boys who dont truly love you or want you. If any of these guys truly loved you they would be with only you no other women No lies or games. Im not sure what you think love is but just cus a guy says sweet crap doesnt mean he loves you at all its all about action words are garbage I mean anyone can tell you your pretty and they love you its up to you if your really going to let ppl show you love and how much they will show you. Start with trying to love yourself more seriously because not even in a rude way I dont know you but reading your issue your not that wise to see thru BS! Just saying Sorry but there are guys who only want to bone and only tell girls what they want to hear to bone even guys who will get in a relationship which is a big deal btw even tho ppl get into them so easily but they do it just to bone females also good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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