Monodare1 Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Hi guys With everything's that's happened with my father, a dangerous and life threatening illness, how could she in all good conscience pile on the pressure and stress of revealing that she has a new boyfriend and wants to sell the house? It's like kicking a man when he's down. It seems that 2014 is a year In Which I will be fighting my own personal war of survival. If you've read my previous posts, how do you survive this relentless emotional kicking, I need to be strong for my son, father and myself so I can hopefully be in a stronger, happier place this time next year, but at the moment things look pretty bleak to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Hi guys With everything's that's happened with my father, a dangerous and life threatening illness, how could she in all good conscience pile on the pressure and stress of revealing that she has a new boyfriend and wants to sell the house? It's like kicking a man when he's down. It seems that 2014 is a year In Which I will be fighting my own personal war of survival. If you've read my previous posts, how do you survive this relentless emotional kicking, I need to be strong for my son, father and myself so I can hopefully be in a stronger, happier place this time next year, but at the moment things look pretty bleak to me. I can totally relate to this, it's hard to get your head around it even after a year I still get blown away by how emotionally detached and thoughtless my ex is. I just keep telling myself that it's his issue and that he has at least a two maybe 3 year start in me when it comes to emotionally breaking away It does get less painful, but doesn't stop surprising me Personally wouldn't treat my worst enemy the way my ex has treated me and my kids Sorry for your pain xxx Link to post Share on other sites
K Os Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 how could she in all good conscience ... ? What makes you think that's what she's using? You are, she's not. It seems that 2014 is a year In Which I will be fighting my own personal war of survival. If you've read my previous posts, how do you survive this relentless emotional kicking Grow bloody good armour. And within that armour, really look after yourself. Do stuff you like, stuff you enjoy doing, stuff that's not related to any of this, stuff that helps. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Focusing on yourself rather than them and doing positive things for you and your path forward is the only way forward. This takes a lot of practise to keep up at first due to each knock back, but in time it becomes easier. SS x Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I am so so so very sorry that it is just keeps heaping up....it's like when will it just stop. You must...yes must... work to emotionally detatch! She has done so which is why she is swiftly movinging forward without regard. I know it is confusing how could someone who once love you NOW treat you so coldly....yep that's the state of being D-E-T-A-C-T-H-E-D....in other words nothing personal I just gotta move on with MY LIFE. Hard it is but now it is You against You....knowing that You represents your son and father; I think that is beautiful motiviation to let her go. I know it is so so hard, I hope you are in IC so you can laser focus on your needs. Be good to your single-self. Trust me she is taking very good care of herself. Chin up!!! Link to post Share on other sites
hayewils Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 You cant do anything about her and what she chooses to do today. You cant do anything but control yourself, take care of yourself.. I am pretty sure my ex is with a new guy. Does it bother me?? Maybe a little but thats what she chose to do.. I only try to focus on my own happiness.. Selfish? Maybe but i dont care cause it is me that i am trying to fix. Cant fix her.. So i go enjoy myself, work a lot too.. But definatly do for you. I went out and bought a car ive always wanted but never would buy cause of family priorities.. Now, i guess you can say that things change.. And i love my decision cause the thing is badass! Im gonna get a very expensive speeding ticket.. Just take care of you! Itll all be fine.. Thank God that time heals Link to post Share on other sites
FooledMeTwice Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 You cant do anything about her and what she chooses to do today. You cant do anything but control yourself, take care of yourself.. I am pretty sure my ex is with a new guy. Does it bother me?? Maybe a little but thats what she chose to do.. I only try to focus on my own happiness.. Selfish? Maybe but i dont care cause it is me that i am trying to fix. Cant fix her.. So i go enjoy myself, work a lot too.. But definatly do for you. I went out and bought a car ive always wanted but never would buy cause of family priorities.. Now, i guess you can say that things change.. And i love my decision cause the thing is badass! Im gonna get a very expensive speeding ticket.. Just take care of you! Itll all be fine.. Thank God that time heals I sincerely hope you didn't buy a 2013 Camaro SS, because that's my dream car! hehehe Link to post Share on other sites
hayewils Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I sincerely hope you didn't buy a 2013 Camaro SS, because that's my dream car! hehehe Nope.. Better than that. 2014 challenger R/T Added performance exhaust. Getting ready to dyno tune it. Gonna drop the suspension about 2 inches. Getting a tuner chip and cold air intake.. I put 93 octane fuel in it today and holy crap! What a difference. Had it up to 125 on the frontage road the other day and was still pushing me in the seat. Leather interior, heated seats, sunroof. A sound system that just takes all other thoughts away! Its great... When you focus on you only, and do be selfish! You will see things do get better.. God bless! Link to post Share on other sites
FooledMeTwice Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Nope.. Better than that. 2014 challenger R/T Added performance exhaust. Getting ready to dyno tune it. Gonna drop the suspension about 2 inches. Getting a tuner chip and cold air intake.. I put 93 octane fuel in it today and holy crap! What a difference. Had it up to 125 on the frontage road the other day and was still pushing me in the seat. Leather interior, heated seats, sunroof. A sound system that just takes all other thoughts away! Its great... When you focus on you only, and do be selfish! You will see things do get better.. God bless! Sweet ride and continue to live your life as happily as you can, because in the end a happy life is the best revenge! Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Its self preservation and self reliance, please reconsider the terminology "selfish" when someone is fortifying themselves for things to come. I pray that your fathers illness heals or dissipates to a manageable level.... I personally found that surrounding myself with a positive support system of friends and family (and sometimes co-workers) alleviated the level of angst given off by ones' ex. Somehow in the scope of things, those antics just didn't permeate my being....I had a higher purpose in life...such as living it wisely. We each have tender spots that our adversaries enjoy tapping into, the key is to not re-act but rather to direct our energy elsewhere....rise above that person and walk proud knowing you do not have to be that way.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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