Age of Marriage

[JAG-UR]

So, I'd love to hear people's opinion on the ideal age for marriage. I'd also love to hear about other people's experiences if they felt they married too young or waited too long to get married.

 

Thanks in advance! :-)

[Lauriebell82]

I think late 20's is a good age. You could be married for a few years and still have plenty of time to have multiple children. Also, chances are by then you will have established a career and be somewhat financially stable.

[CarrieT]

Based on recent scientific studies that indicate a person's brain is not fully developed until their late 20s -- and, having been married at 20 and divorced at 25…

 

I would HEARTILY recommend that no one get married until they are approaching their 30s at the earliest.

[Arabella]

Based on recent scientific studies that indicate a person's brain is not fully developed until their late 20s -- and, having been married at 20 and divorced at 25…

 

I would HEARTILY recommend that no one get married until they are approaching their 30s at the earliest.

 

I second this. I got married at 20 and the marriage was pretty much over by 25.

 

At the time, I had no idea who I was or what I needed in a man... let alone how to actually have a healthy relationship.

[Janesays]

Late 20's/early 30's is what I would call ideal.

 

But people don't always fit into cookie cutter boxes, so there's that to consider too.

[d0nnivain]

Late 20s at the earliest.

 

 

That's not the # that really matters though -- you shouldn't marry until you have some reasonable method to support yourself.

[MissBee]

I'm not a fan of people marrying before 25. Your brain doesn't even fully develop until then and so much happens between 18 and then. We constantly change and grow throughout life but our teen years and twenties seem to see the most drastic changes. You can certainly be in a relationship but I wouldn't tie the knot and make it permanent until at least 25.

 

For me, I will probably not marry until I'm in my late twenties/early thirties, as I see my life playing out, and I don't see any drawbacks to that. By then I will have my career underway, will be more stable, will have had enough fun and frolicking and freedom to be mature enough to truly handle marriage and also having a family without feeling like I'm missing out on anything.

 

Marriage is supposed to be "forever", I don't see the rush to forever when you're a teenager, in college or in your twenties. You can still have your relationship but nothing is wrong with waiting before making it legal and "permanent."

[Tayla]

the age to get married is when you are ready and able to love in such away that you can live without them, yet chose not to. I've found age is less a determining factor then the persons maturity to grasp the life long commitment to loyalty, faithfulness and independent thinking. Some folks get it and some folks never really do...no matter what the age.....

[KathyM]

I think mid to late twenties is a good age for women to marry. They are (hopefully) more mature by then, and ready to settle down, but still young enough to have some time to settle into the marriage before bringing children into it. Of course, people mature emotionally at different ages. Some are ready for marriage earlier than that, some later, and some will never be ready for marriage. And of course, you can't decide when to fall in love, or when you are going to find the right guy. When you find the right person and he has the qualities you'd want in a spouse, that is usually when people start to consider marriage. Not tied to a specific age.

[carhill]

Relevant to the OP's apparent age, 18, I'd opine a lot of life changes and challenges over the next decade or so will mold her and refine her parameters for a life companion/intimate relationship. Additionally, as she apparently has been with one person since her adolescence began, experiencing or desiring to experience new potentials as an adult is nearly universal in most people in today's societies.

 

In my case, IMO I waited too long, not necessarily by choice but rather by remaining immersed in a demographic which was antithetical to my natural style and personality. I guess remaining was a choice but I didn't see it that way at the time. Looking back, leaving would have been a much healthier choice than remaining and attempting to mold myself into some form of compatible 'fit' over many years. I also would opine that I did, as is typical for a person as they age, become more rigid in my ways/perspectives which can be a negative in a partnership situation. Although I don't believe getting married as an older person, in general, is a negative, getting married for the *first* time as an older person definitely carries some downside risks, which is why one often sees cautions thrown out here on these forums about older 'perpetually single' people.

 

IME, in my generation, people who were single for awhile and married in their late 20's/early 30's seem to have the most stable M's or, if they did divorce, the most consistently stable relationships/future M's. A few got married real young and have done well; in some cases being happily married over 40 years. Most have either divorced or had affairs, or both.

 

If I were to advise a young lady like yourself, it would be to finish uni, enjoy many friendships and relationships during this period and establish the beginnings of your adult path in life. Perhaps the person you've known for many years will be there walking it with you. Perhaps not. Remain open to the possibilities and enjoy your youth. Once it's gone, it's gone. Good luck.

[Mrlonelyone]

Listen to carhill and what others have said about brain development. Between 18 and 25 you are an adult....but an adult who still has some very important growing to do. You will change almost as much between 20 and 25 as you did between 15 and 20.

 

 

Here is some info to consider. The average age of marriage is 27 for a woman and 29 for a man. I've known women as young as 15 and men as young as 17 who were married. Assuming that less than 2% of people get married that young and a more or less bell shaped curve....

 

 

Most women get married between 23 and 31.

Most men get married between about 25 and 34.

 

 

So you are far from the age where you need to start looking for marriage matterial. As carhill said just enjoy this period in your life. Be open to possibly meeting a soul mate/ marriage worthy man. Yet realize it's very likely that a man who looks like a soul mate at 20 will look like a mistake at 22, and a man who looks good at 22 may be regrettable at 25. The point is to learn from all of that what you really need in a relationship.

[pteromom]

Late 20s/early 30s. Most people don't know who they are until then. Even if you are amazingly mature, the odds of finding another person that young who is mature enough for marriage is very low.

 

Teens and early twenties should be about building your career, learning how to navigate life on your own, expanding your mind and interests, building friendships, traveling.

[Mrlonelyone]

Late 20s/early 30s. Most people don't know who they are until then. Even if you are amazingly mature, the odds of finding another person that young who is mature enough for marriage is very low.

.

 

 

I can only think of one example of that. Beyonce + JayZ. They met when she was 20 and he was 32. Then they waited about five years having a somewhat non-committal relationship for that time. Then they got married.

 

 

Even then will all the money in the world to grease things they are still having problems.

 

 

Marriage is hard work, messing it up is easy. Don't be in a hurry to grow up.

[slyk1970]

I married at 28 (almost 29) I don't think it was too soon or too late. I think late 20's early 30's is a good age.

I did live with my husband for 3 years prior to our marriage which I would recommend.

I wouldn't marry again but hope to find love and companionship again, if I do I will "live in sin".

[pink_sugar]

I realized I married too young. I don't think there is ever a perfect age, but I think people should probably wait until they are at least in their mid to late twenties before getting married. At this point, most people know themselves well enough to know what they really want out of life and will ultimately make better decisions for themselves after experience. While my husband was 24, almost 25 when we married, I don't think he was ready either. Financial and emotional issues really hurt our marriage. I wasn't ready for all that has happened to us. The strain was unnecessary to put on myself at a young age. I think the perfect age is an age where you are financially and emotionally secure before adding another person to the mix.

[MissBee]

I realized I married too young. I don't think there is ever a perfect age, but I think people should probably wait until they are at least in their mid to late twenties before getting married. At this point, most people know themselves well enough to know what they really want out of life and will ultimately make better decisions for themselves after experience. While my husband was 24, almost 25 when we married, I don't think he was ready either. Financial and emotional issues really hurt our marriage. I wasn't ready for all that has happened to us. The strain was unnecessary to put on myself at a young age. I think the perfect age is an age where you are financially and emotionally secure before adding another person to the mix.

 

This is sound! I totally agree.

[DanielFife83]

I am 31 and havnet met anyone. What will happen?

[loveflying]

I am approaching my 40.. Looking back even though I didn't date aggressively I am glad I didn't marry any of my exes.

 

From what I see around me nobody gets married to get a divorce. Been too many fantastic weddings, seen as many ugly breakups/divorces and all that drama. I respect people taking the plunge wholeheartedly though. Worked or not.

 

When it comes to the age. Let's put it this way. I do not care about the age anymore. All I want is I want to see my dad walking me down the isle to the man I love "one day" and I'd love to have a kid again "one day". I might end up adopting one so who knows. Life is all about making right choices.. as best as you can. And not do things just because it sounds right or it is time.. Be true to yourself. You are going to live with yourself and your choices forever at the end.

Edited January 7, 2014 by loveflying

[HurtZ]

I don’t believe there is any good age. The most ideal time to get married is when you have had enough life experience to know who you are and to find the person with whom you connect with.

[itsmylife]

Married at 23 and very happy. I think it depends on the maturity and how secure two people are in their personal lives before coming together.

My husband and I both had stable and successful jobs at young ages and we were both independent so getting married young has helped us work together to achieve our dreams faster.

[Frivolous]

Gave up a 3 year relationship which was heading towards marriage at 25.

 

2 years later and still feel like it was the right decision because I know that I just wasn't ready.

 

I'm currently single and enjoying life so it will most definitely be over 30 for me but I'm fine with that. I've experienced enough to know what I'm in for haha

[Radu]

Imho it depends on the maturity level and it varies with gender.

 

Just don't do it because others are doing it.

When you do go into it, go with both feet in, determined to make it work.

Otherwise you will shore up the nr of divorcees.

 

If i had to pick a nr for women, i would have to say 25 and 25-30 for guys [or around those ages].

One thing i haven't seen mentioned by anyone here is the fact that women are in fact on a different timetable compared to men.

Planning to get married at 30+ as a woman, can end up badly for you if you made the wrong decision, it doesn't give you enough time to recover and meet someone if you want kids. If you don't want kids, it doesn't matter.

[Col1]

The longest married couples I know wed as teenagers. One couple got married the weekend after she turned 18. They were all passionate about their partners. They grew together. They took on life together as a team.

Edited February 15, 2014 by Col1

[man_in_the_box]

Been with the same girl since age 20, not married but does that even matter if you're together for so long?

[AnneT1985]

Gosh that's a tough one. In my opinion there are too many variables and age as a number is not necessarily THE factor, but I find life experience to be more so, and that often but not necessarily relates to age. No hard and fast answer there.