Shy, embarrassed, lacking in confidence, but with a plan

[jacksi]

If you have read any of my posts, you know I am "that guy". I am the man who gets the sweaty forehead when he steps up to a pretty woman. I get tongue-tied. I assume they are too good for me in that moment, even though my mind tells me I am their equal in life.

 

I am very confident at work. I can talk easily to men and women in any department, no matter what they look like. I can go to training sessions with hundreds of people in attendance, meet people with ease, and feel great. That is because I know the topic. I know my job. I am up to date on the latest news in the industry and can talk about it with confidence. I see everyone as my peers, or as people needing my expertise.

 

That confidence falls apart when I walk into a bar, a party, or a singles' gathering. While reading the forum something hit me right between the eyes and finally sank into my brain. I never studied anything about how to meet women. I never learned how to act in social situations. I never set goals. I never learned the lingo. I never practiced. I never watched how an expert does things. I never wrote notes. I never evaluated my failures and adjusted my plans. I did not know the rules.

 

No wonder I have no confidence. I do not have a clue what I am doing. At work, I am 100% confident because I know the answers or know where to get them in a heartbeat. I study hours per week to be good at my job. I plan. I research. I know the lingo.

 

It is making me wonder what would happen if I did the same thing for my social life. I listen to Tony Robbins and Eric Thomas almost every day to motivate me and be mentally right for work, but I never applied their ideas to my dating life. I have used the ideas from Tony to model people for my job, but never applied it to anything else.

 

This leads me to my plan. I am going to choose some people to model and to learn from for my dating life, too. I am confident that by learning the right ideas, the right language, and modeling the right person, I can improve my ability to talk to women and get dates.

 

I hope this does not sound like I am making dating into a "job", because that is the furthest thing from my mind. I studied golf with the same passion when I started. I took classes, bought books, went to the driving range, and improved because I made the effort. I have never made a real effort at learning how to talk to women. I know, it should have been obvious I needed to do it, but most of you guys make it look so easy. I just thought I was a dating invalid.

 

I have been looking at some of the materials on themodernman.com and they look promising. I am making some notes on other programs I have seen mentioned on the forums, too.

 

I could use a little help, too. Are there any great YouTube channels you suggest? I am already starting to feel it in my gut that this is the right direction. Every area of my life where I have good confidence and success I have studied, practiced, and modeled people. It is about time I woke up and realized that is probably why I fail at meeting women so badly. I never tried. I just assumed I was inept and naturally lacked confidence, which makes no sense with my confidence in other areas of my life.

 

Wish me luck and give me any suggestions you have. I am going to change my life, once again, by doing what has worked in every other aspect of my life. By doing a little studying, practicing, and listening to experts.

[d0nnivain]

I think it's a great plan. As they say, fake it 'till you make it.

 

 

I bet you'll be great! Good luck.