OpheliaSong Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 Ha this is a hilarious thread. Maybe you can write Dear Abby and say, I don't contact my OW as much as I want because I know it would destroy my family but I am going to do it anyway because I have the emotional integrity of an adolescent. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
vanellope Posted January 2, 2014 Share Posted January 2, 2014 I can't explain why it bothers me so much that you refer to her as "your girl" but regardless, she is not really your girl and never has been. I don't like MM called me his girl or his lover, I prefer he call my name instead. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 She has sex with her husband lots. I don't own her lol! We talk about our sex lives with each other. I've tried to talk to my wife about being more open to sharing, I'd love to watch her with someone else, male or female. If you want another crack at analyzing me go for it, but you're not doing a great job yet. Discussion and advice are always great but people think I'm a textbook case or something? I'm confused why you think you know me. I'm confused why you came here thinking that OW would be soothed or something by making this thread. It's the opposite. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueBobby Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 I'm confused why you came here thinking that OW would be soothed or something by making this thread. It's the opposite. I didn't write anything trying to soothe anyone. I just see an overwhelming amount of people talking about constant daily contact and that without it they go crazy thinking they are being used or manipulated or that the guy doesn't care at all. Every relationship is different and I can't speak for everyone but I have lots of family and friends that I don't speak to every day and I still care about them and think about them and that is the honest truth. I'm in an affair, I am not going to be able to give her all the attention I want to it that she wants because in an affair that's unrealistic. It's not possible in my situation or hers, but it's not because I don't care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueBobby Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 I don't like MM called me his girl or his lover, I prefer he call my name instead. I call her name, I just can't here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 maybe I am the only one but I love the honesty of bobbys posts 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueBobby Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 Women are asking everyday on here , why why why didn't he text or call. I'm just saying why sometimes I don't. I'm not trying to answer for every married man or woman. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 come across like I have the mind of a serial cheater? I'm not. There has been a couple past very brief one time infidelities and I came clean about them to my wife. That dear Bobby is the very definition of serial cheating. You've had more than one person/episode without your wife's consent. Doesnt matter it was an ons, it's still cheating. You clearly lack remorse and only consider emotional cheating real cheating. You know what my problem is with that? Your wife is played like a fool and could have gotten an std. I suppose she should be greatful it's her friend at least she's physically fine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueBobby Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 That dear Bobby is the very definition of serial cheating. You've had more than one person/episode without your wife's consent. Doesnt matter it was an ons, it's still cheating. You clearly lack remorse and only consider emotional cheating real cheating. You know what my problem is with that? Your wife is played like a fool and could have gotten an std. I suppose she should be greatful it's her friend at least she's physically fine. I'm fine with whatever label you feel like giving me. Doesn't really bother me that you have a problem with what I'm doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 What exactly do your girls see in you? It can't be your immense caring. Might want to take a sociopath test and I am serious about it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueBobby Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 (edited) What exactly do your girls see in you? It can't be your immense caring. Might want to take a sociopath test and I am serious about it. Can't speak for them really but can say what they've told me. I'm a nice guy. I'd help out any one who needed help, I'm very even tempered, I don't get angry. I'm a good dad and women love that I get told that all the time. I'm hands on. I do the diapers without complaint, bath times, meal times, stories before bed, and I do it because I love them very much it's not for any other reason. My other woman shares my views on parenthood more than my wife or her husband does. We click there. She has mentioned that a lot. I'm a good husband although I get how some of that is fake because I'm also cheating on her. But I cook, clean and take very good care of my family my friends, our pets and I'm reliable and hard working. Without trying to sound like a complete dick, I'm also pretty good looking according to all the women who try and pick me up lol! I've never went looking to cheat, the two times before I was way to drunk, women came onto me, I took the opportunity because I was horny I guess, regretted it and told my wife. This woman now, she's different and I approached her. This affair, it's one little piece of me. Im not immune to guilt. I'm on a forum filled with cheaters, still people are always looking to find someone who's worse than they are to make themselves feel better. Edited January 3, 2014 by BlueBobby 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ladee123 Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Wow for a minute I thought you were my mm until you posted a couple off details but weird how similar the situations are. Thanks for this post. It helps me understand the slow contact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
violet1 Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 (edited) Can't speak for them really but can say what they've told me. I'm a nice guy. I'd help out any one who needed help, I'm very even tempered, I don't get angry. I'm a good dad and women love that I get told that all the time. I'm hands on. I do the diapers without complaint, bath times, meal times, stories before bed, and I do it because I love them very much it's not for any other reason. My other woman shares my views on parenthood more than my wife or her husband does. We click there. She has mentioned that a lot. I'm a good husband although I get how some of that is fake because I'm also cheating on her. But I cook, clean and take very good care of my family my friends, our pets and I'm reliable and hard working. Without trying to sound like a complete dick, I'm also pretty good looking according to all the women who try and pick me up lol! I've never went looking to cheat, the two times before I was way to drunk, women came onto me, I took the opportunity because I was horny I guess, regretted it and told my wife. This woman now, she's different and I approached her. This affair, it's one little piece of me. Im not immune to guilt. I'm on a forum filled with cheaters, still people are always looking to find someone who's worse than they are to make themselves feel better. I don't think people are trying to make themselves feel better. Everyone has different lines that they won't cross even as cheaters. Maybe it's hypocritical of me because I have cheated, but I'd never in my life sleep with a friend's spouse. It's beyond cruel but I guess you or your girl obviously don't care about your friends. That's my issue with your situation. I'm actually very understanding when it comes to cheating and one of the less judgemental types. I have no sympathy for social circle affairs or false reconciliations. Maybe I should create a thread on what lines a person won't cross as a cheater. Edited January 3, 2014 by violet1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlueBobby Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 I don't think people are trying to make themselves feel better. Everyone has different lines that they won't cross even as cheaters. Maybe it's hypocritical of me because I have cheated, but I'd never in my life sleep with a friend's spouse. It's beyond cruel but I guess you or your girl obviously don't care about your friends. That's my issue with your situation. I'm actually very understanding when it comes to cheating and one of the less judgemental types. I have no sympathy for social circle affairs or false reconciliations. Maybe I should create a thread on what lines a person won't cross as a cheater. I have lines I won't cross too. Before this started I would have said the exact same thing, that there are millions of people, why pick a friend. But I don't feel like I picked her so much as I stopped fighting the urge to tell her how I felt and it was years of that. Once crossed there was no going back. I wouldn't recommend to anyone else to do the same but at the same time I do not regret what I've found with her. Our relationship with this other couple is not cut and dry it's really different than any other couple friendship we've had. Lines were blurred from the start and it contributed to a lot of crossed boundary and we just took it too far. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Women are asking everyday on here , why why why didn't he text or call. I'm just saying why sometimes I don't. I'm not trying to answer for every married man or woman. The affair dynamic changes as time goes on and makes some insecure. I mean, when you think about it, you're (general you) are automatically setting yourself up for competition by being with someone who is already married. Not being number one and the highest priority. After a while, especially with (single) OW, it plays with your mind. Read past threads by some OW on here, it shows just how much they changed over time, lost themselves and became insecure, jealous, sad, where as before the A, they weren't like that at all. I think it's normal to want to see and speak to your partner daily, but in an affair setting it's harder obviously at times to make that time depending on what's going on in the married persons life. Then there are just some MM who aren't as honest, maybe to them it IS just an affair and they don't want constant contact. That upsets OW and their expectation level is different than the MM, the A is much more meaningful to the OW than to a MM. Again, some, not all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
violet1 Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I have lines I won't cross too. Before this started I would have said the exact same thing, that there are millions of people, why pick a friend. But I don't feel like I picked her so much as I stopped fighting the urge to tell her how I felt and it was years of that. Once crossed there was no going back. I wouldn't recommend to anyone else to do the same but at the same time I do not regret what I've found with her. Our relationship with this other couple is not cut and dry it's really different than any other couple friendship we've had. Lines were blurred from the start and it contributed to a lot of crossed boundary and we just took it too far. Why not make it an open thing? Maybe her husband can sleep with your wife. That way at least it's even and no risk for a D Day. Have you asked your wife if she's attracted to the woman's husband? ls he attracted to your wife? You're not just risking your M's, but the friendships too. If your children are friends with hers it would be a devastating lost to all involved. No connection would be worth that risk for me. I know you don't believe me, but chances are you will get caught. I'm not telling you to end it to be judgemental. I tell you to end it because your MOW is way too close to home. Or you guys could stop hanging out with each others family. Why not do that if you won't end the affair? It's extremely mean to hang out with her husband when you're secretly sleeping with his wife. Don't you feel bad about your wife being friends with a woman you're secretly sleeping with? If you loved your wife, you'd protect her from the enemy (MOW). You can't have BOTH your wife and her friend. Pick one and be done. I at least hope you're not having sex in each others homes and beds, but I have a feeling you are. I suggest you read other infidelity forums. There are people who are in their affairs years before they got caught. On the wayward forum I was on, a lady got caught after being in a ten year affair. No, I seriously wouldn't sleep with a friend's spouse/bf. I once was attracted to a friend's bf when I was in college and I started to avoid him. I'd only hang out with just her to limit any temptation. I've seen way too many hurt over sh*t like that. If it was a couple friendship, I'd do the same thing. I believe that relationships/marriages come and go, but friendships should last forever. Like I said before, I'm not best wife, but I'm a damn good friend. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 You are finally starting to sound human. Now that we also know that you are handsome... The label we'd give you here is cake eater. You'd like to keep things like this forever. The problem with As is that they are unstable situations that demand to be stabilized. One day your girl may not be okay with how little she gets for example. it's usually the woman who stops being content with the status quo. Your A works for now. It doesn't mean that it will always work, even if it takes years to get there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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