Blade96 Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 (edited) I wanted to ask a question but thought it might go here since it's about parents or people who have a pro - kid mindset, or - something. But if isn't the right place maybe a mod can move it . Anyhoo....... My question is this. Maybe I notice it more because I am a childfree person and not really pro kid. I mean I like kids age 4 and up, have fun with them, but aren't crazy about them and seem to have more realistic thoughts about the whole having kids thing. I do not want kids. I call it realistic because, My question here is, Why, when people express doubts when their partners or themselves get pregnant and have doubts, they will inevidably be greeted with, Oh you'll love it when it gets here, I didn't bond until later, rainbows butterflies gold bars and unicorns, while ignoring the fact that no it does not happen for everyone, the stories of abused and neglected kids by their own relatives are proof. So are the stories of people who regret becoming parents (but looked after and raised their kids and did not abuse them, they just regretted it) I watched a show about 2 people who adopted a kid and he turned out to be a horrible human being and the dad said if he could turn back time he never would have gotten him. But people still keep with the "you'll love it when it gets here". why do people persist in trying to fill their heads with this delusion ? Why don't they keep it realistic and say well it doesn't happen for everyone but it did for me? That at least would keep it real. Edited December 31, 2013 by Blade96 Link to post Share on other sites
John316C Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 ppl have a need to rationalize their mistakes by glorifying them. the same need to fantasize about possible unknown factors. its a coping mechanism. whether you beleive having children for you or another person is a good thing is your personal choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 No one wants to believe that child abuse is a real issue that needs to be dealt with. So they instead pretend all parents love their children and bury their heads in the sand so they can ignore some pretty alarming statistics. Unfortunately, the only ones suffering because of this are the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blade96 Posted December 31, 2013 Author Share Posted December 31, 2013 It makes no darned sense to me. If these people love kids as much as they say they do, they wouldn't ignore such stats. I'm not a kid person in the sense that I don't want any and really can't stand to be around babies and toddlers. I'd rather move away. But , in the sense of abuse and neglect, if I saw anyone hurt a child, or hurt anyone for that matter, I'd put them UNDER a jail myself. They like the animals I'm fond of, I'm an animal lover, Kids are beings that should be protected because they can't defend themselves and really have no say in what happens to them. So, when I hear of people who spout this "Oh you'll love it when it gets here!" crap, I wanna put them under the jail too, because they help contribute to this crap we have in our society. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 Because in the *majority* of cases, of people that you are likely to come across, what they speak is exactly what happened, for them. And that's generally what you get from folk - a slant based on their personal experiences. It's up to you to do the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
John316C Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 No one wants to believe that child abuse is a real issue that needs to be dealt with. So they instead pretend all parents love their children and bury their heads in the sand so they can ignore some pretty alarming statistics. Unfortunately, the only ones suffering because of this are the kids. adults suffer too from the after effects Link to post Share on other sites
Debanked Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 So don't have kids OP. Link to post Share on other sites
austyre Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 you will always live with doubt especially if your a parent I kinda get what you mean but me and my wife got married to have a family of 5 kids also I believe that you can't really use stats in regards to parenting but yeah it is all personal experience Or maybe parents are to busy trying to look at the dream and not the reality of raising kids just my 2 cents Link to post Share on other sites
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