kaylan Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 Similarities =/= same career I know more LTRs and marriages between people of different careers than between people of the same career - which makes statistical sense, really. Careers are but one of the many faces of mutual interests. Similarities = similar careers though. Like I said, most couples I see, the two people aren't much different from one another in terms of likes, dislikes, career, personality etc. Certain personalities are usually drawn to particular careers...which would make sense why people in similar career fields end up dating a lot of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 It depends on what is important to you and how much a part of your life certain things are, that will determine how much you will focus on common interests, and which of your common interests at that, that you'd like a partner to share. This. If you like to read, it isn't important to have a partner who also likes to read. It's only important to have a partner who understands you like to read. But say you are into salsa dancing to the point where every Friday and Saturday night, you salsa dance. Every party you go to is with your salsa dancing friends. You like to salsa dance around the house during the week, and watch dancing shows on TV. It would be pretty unsatisfying to have a partner who wasn't into it. Who constantly tries to get you to spend less time on it and isn't interested in joining you. Makes sense that this woman would at least want a partner who was very interested in learning and becoming part of the dance community. I don't know why you always make these posts though. Women are allowed to want what they want, and if what they want is different than you, who cares - just move on to the next profile. Even the woman who said she wants someone who accepts her for her size. That doesn't mean that is ALL she wants, and it doesn't mean that because it is important to her that she can never exclude someone based on appearance. It just means that the guy for her won't be asking her to change her looks. Perfectly reasonable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 [...] i'd be happier sipping wiskey round a campfire down by the lake. [...] my kind of guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Share Posted January 8, 2014 Yeah, I mean, you know the relationship is on a downward spiral when they start doing things seperatlely. There is this hiking/camping Meetup I'm a member of, there was this new member, a school teacher...she was cute and quite a few guys took a liking to her...until she mentioned "The boyfriend' in conversation. He wasn't with her at the time of the hike, but I thought nothing of it...then consecutive Meetups she kept showing up to hikes without him. I found out from her they do live together, but "The great outdoors' just isn't his thing, he mostly stays home and play video games. So some guys were kind of "lingering" to hope the relationship fizzled FOR that reason, but she wound up not showing up to Meetups again. lol Guess she chose to spend more time with the boyfriend. But not necessarily the women you want! This is why I wouldn't date a girl who didn't share my interests...what the hell would we do together? I'd want to go to a football match when she wanted to go somewhere "cultured", She'd want to go to a bar in the city when i'd be happier sipping wiskey round a campfire down by the lake. It just wouldn't work. Maybe its selfish in a way, but I don't want to live my life constantly compromising. There'll always be compromises but the fewer the better! Its like being the captain of our local football team, it takes a lot of time and dedication, and my girlfriend gets that, she comes to watch me play, I get to share something I love with her. If she didn't then that would be a lot of my time being dedicated to something that didn't include my girlfriend at all. I guess that's why a lot of athletes date other athletes - a mutual understanding of what goes into your sport. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I play modern progressive metal. It's an utter sausage fest, the heavy music community in general is like that... in the U.S. anyway. lolol very true. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 ...Every party you go to is with your salsa dancing friends. You like to salsa dance around the house during the week... *totally imagining salsa dancing women compulsively salsa dancing from room to room in her house while her husband tries to watch the footie* :lmao: Totally agree with the point though, some hobbies are more time consuming and require a greater level of participation and understanding from partner than others! Aside from potentially knocking over a stack of books and being well and truly in the doghouse my girlfriend liking to read really doesn't affect my life very much at all. Me liking to downhill mountain bike and running the risk of potentially breaking an arm or a leg, rendering me unable to do my job & less able to help out with our 2 month old twins, for a while. Requires a much great level of understanding from my girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I actually know a woman, that will NOT date man if he doesn't know how to salsa dance like she can. What a woman tells one man is usually different from what she tells another man, depending on how she feels towards the men. Like Dude A talks with a girl and is told all sorts of reasons why she'd never date a guy and all those reasons disquals him. Dude B....is just accepted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 She wasn't telling ME anything...she was telling US (mostly women in the dinner booth), in general. I didn't even bring up the subject of dancing *shrug*. It had nothing to do with her speaking with me. What a woman tells one man is usually different from what she tells another man, depending on how she feels towards the men. Like Dude A talks with a girl and is told all sorts of reasons why she'd never date a guy and all those reasons disquals him. Dude B....is just accepted. Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I didnt think I cared about interests,but the guy I'm involved with now has all my same interests and it makes me like him a lot more. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I agree that some common interests are a must, but not all. If you are living in someone's pocket all the time what new ideas do you bring to the relationship? I am a vegetarian but my husband is not. He does however come to some of the social events that our veggie group arranges. I work in healthcare and often go to seminars and conferences. My husband stays at the hotel with me and then goes off to explore the area while I am working. Sometimes he'll go to a football match or just go shopping. My husband follows the racing but I'm not interested. So when he goes to the races I go out shopping/meet friends. We both, however, go to the same church and have the same religious beliefs. "Moderation in all things" is the key here IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
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